Awakening from the Victim Concept

[Anastacia42]

Goodness. What will it take?

You probably did get it & did break through.

Now you're doubting. You're just believing stories.

Stop believing your thinking & accept that there's no "I" other than in thinking.

Aren't you tired of it?

Loving

[Anastacia42]

definition of seeking is here?

Nothing special. Same as anywhere else.

What could you possibly still be looking for after that?

Your expectations may be unrealistic.

Do watch the videos, please. And if you're stuck in doubt, (or even if you just want to) continue with the DropBox Pointers.

Much love,

[Anastacia42]

Brian,

I once guided a client for 30 pages, who was already SEEING when he arrived. I want you to read the last couple of pages of his thread, because this is similar to what you're going through now.

Maybe it will help you to wake up & see that you've woken up.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8350&start=405

Loving,

[GoBro]

Hey Stacy,

Reading this... immense fear of the end of seeking arises. Even desperation... that this "might be it". Fear of death seems to be here now.

I will watch the videos!

Best,

Brian

[GoBro]

I am tired of it

[Anastacia42]

Hi Brian,

. immense fear of the end of seeking arises. Even desperation... that this "might be it". Fear of death seems to be here now.

The "Zooming in on Death" meditation may help.

Also, there is a TON of aftercare and support when we finish.

But first you answer our traditional "final" questions. We know this is just a beginning. You have to align your entire life with what you have seen. For some people this is hard. Read "Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damndest Thing" for more about that. For others, it is a breeze and a relief. Or a mix.

Let me know when you're ready for the questions, but first you must be *certain* that there is NO SELF. Are you certain that there is no separate self and you are just afraid to stop seeking?

Much love,
Stacy

[Anastacia42]

We have a couple of support groups that are meeting via teleconference:

There are 3 meetings.

Vince Shubert runs one on the weekends. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule

You can go to any and all of them NOW.

Much love,

[GoBro]

Dear Stacy,

I will continue with the meditations. When I read NO SELF there is peace. I feel that maybe even the act of looking for it creates it. Do I know for certain that there is NO SELF? I can't even come up with an answer.

I could and did start writing the stories and expectations that seem to prevent the willingness to see here. I read the other forum posts from the dude with the similar case. Familiar intellectualization there ;). It seems that whenever I "react" or believe in stories or question my seeing, the cosmos slaps me right in the face with it all. So, I am not sure I feel to write it up. I'm sure we've heard it all before lol.

It seems that it can be summed up quite simply: the victim story hasn't been "resolved". And it feels like... or the expectation is that it "should" have been by now! The life symptoms of it are still there (lack of drive, relationship issues, loneliness, money issues, no great purpose or passion, no great master teacher to help prepare me, no great understanding, loneliness, abandonment, fear in the belly, all thoughts of-course etc.). So the story is that nothing is as it is "supposed to be."

I say this not because I want to get slapped, but to see through it, so maybe I need to get slapped lol... idk. There is clearly a willingness and a desire to see through it though. I suppose I expected I would have by now or it would have magically resolved... or the wisdom would have clarified the perfect way to see it (what is "it" anyway?). That's the story I seem to be believing anyway. That it should have all turned around for "me" (there is that "I"). Let it end!

I hope I haven't triggered another universe lesson response but simply clarification. I pray for whatever is truly needed to SEE clearly.

All for Satchitananda (as Adyashanti used to speak about).

That is all for now.

Kind Regards,

Brian

[Anastacia42]

Hi Brian,

(lack of drive, relationship issues, loneliness, money issues, no great purpose or passion, no great master teacher to help prepare me, no great understanding, loneliness, abandonment, fear in the belly, all thoughts of-course etc.).

These are all issues for therapy. We don't handle that here. We only point to no self. Nothing more.

If you're going to do therapy, I recommend CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Or The Work of Byron Katie which is for questioning stressful thoughts.

But again, that's not what we do at Liberation Unleashed.

Tell me when you can say with 100% certainty there is no separate "self."

Loving,

[GoBro]

Hi Stacy,

I listened to the next meditation yesterday. Letting go of the places that are being tensed. I felt some gentle openness and relaxation of sensation in my belly and all around the body. It was not as intense as previous meditations. When it came down to relaxing the tension of the whole self-concept I could feel the tension and some gentle relaxation and openness. But something was still holding a little. I felt there was still holding and I could not will it into relaxation. Relaxation and openness seem only to come of their own and for no reason at all. I can’t orchestrate it. Only be open to it.

I understand that what I covered in my post is all for therapy. I felt that this self-concept that wasn’t good enough was my primary reason for seeking, seeking to rectify the issues I think I have had. Maybe if I don’t have that self anymore I don’t know what to do lol. And that’s fine!

How can I be absolutely sure there is no self? It seems vague sometimes and obvious other times, yet unknowable. And there is a subtle sense of “something” vague that’s “held together” by thought. Or a holding together that has tension in it. Does this make sense?

Not to mention I expected rapturous bliss and total release. Which is just an obscuration of what is actually happening.

It must be an ego belief that there is something left to be finished or do. I can see that this isn’t true! I do feel to get on with it! I’ve beaten this dead horse enough.

Anyway, I will let this be for now and see what reflection comes back. I emailed the Guides you mentioned.

Kind Regards,

Brian

P.S. Are you available for a zoom call?

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

I don't usually do zoom calls, but we could do one.

I'm in US Mountain Time. I work weekdays.

It's 5:20 pm right now.

www.timeanddate.com

Meanwhile ...

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

Loving

[GoBro]

Hi Stacy,

I did another meditation and can report on it tomorrow.

This morning I woke up and I was the space in the room. Or that’s how I remember it. I was a little spooked.

I will answer the questions tomorrow. I did them but could not find the attention to really check as it’s really late here!

I’ll write them up ASAP!

Kind Regards,

Brian

[Anastacia42]

Sounds good.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Brian

Being the space in the room sounds like yet another experience of no "self. "

Honestly, I'm tired of this.

You've reported:

I experienced uncontrollable laughter from nothing and no one multiple times. No control, nothing to do with me! No idea about who I am. Just laughter and open sensations in the body. Also thoughts about a person or “me” would come in.

the experience was of open sensations during the first introduction recording in most of my body. Maybe a light and pleasant tingling throughout the center of my body.

Yes, the "truth" or "yes" Sensation.

What stands out is how nonsensical the "I" thought and all of existence really is... it's absurd. And this is just thought. When I trace back I feel the sensation of tingling in my head and neck as well as my body. There is also the sense that there is nothing really there to "go back to" and nothing that can be objectified or seen at all. Just disappearance of what is arising and no ability to distinguish things or think... no "understanding". The images/colors are still there just an absence of the ability to interpret them.

I listened to the fourth recording and wow! This was just open, tingling, light sensations everywhere. There is no control over what is happening. Right after parts of the exercise there were thoughts about all sorts of stories like "I'm being undone" or "there is a gate behind me sucking everything into nothing" and thoughts about how I would describe the experience. It seems the receiver of the questions and thoughts can't be found. And there isn't a sense of center so much anymore? Everything is received by something that can't be found. There are sensations of lightness. There is a curiosity about that which receives everything.

The stories are still there around this "Brian" character, but it just seems like this I-thought is not.

Brian, you are seeing and seeing and seeing, total breakthrough and then you deny it. But I can't know your experience, nor can I clear your doubts. That is in your own mind.

I cannot come between you and your mind. It is up to you to know there is no "self," even if Santa puts the red coat on again.

There is no more I can do for you. Nothing more to point to. You can keep listening to the DropBox exercises, even download them to your computer.

I'm going to show you the final questions & you can see how you do with them. I think you'll probably deny your experiences. If so, I'll suggest we find you anther guide, because I don't know what else to do.

Much love,

[Anastacia42]

Here are the "final" questions. I suspect you'll try to say there's still a "Brian." z if so, we can see if a mother guide is available to help.

Much love