I need help seeing through the illusory I with clarity

[Anastacia42]

Good. All of those are good signs.

[Vit1]

Hey Stacy, a small shift happened earlier today. Awareness stepped forward a bit in a sort of a global sense, while the sense of "I" took a step back. It's been more spacious since then.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent!

Relax into feeling this spaciousness. Stay with it.

Write tomorrow how it is feeling.

Can you find any separate "self?"

Loving,

[Vit1]

No, there is no separate self. That's a definite no.

From time to time the thought stream may look or feel like a separate entity of sorts, but that is only a temporary covering of, like dirt on a window that needs to be cleaned off from time to time.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent


Would you like to try our "final" questions?

The answers will be shared with other gu8des. who may have questions.

Loving

[Vit1]

Hi Stacy, sure that would be fine.
Thank you
Vito

[Anastacia42]

Great. Here you go:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

Describe control & give examples from experience.

What makes things happen? How does it work?

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?


Loving, ,

[Vit1]

Hi Stacy, just a note to say I'm still working on this. This week and weekend is not great as I'm doing lots of travelling and generally away from home, but this "seeing with clarity" process is front and center in my priority list which means I will reply soon. Just want to make sure this process is not rushed through.
Thanks again for your help.
vito

[Anastacia42]

Okay. When you can. Sooner is often better than later while it's still fresh.

Loving,

[Vit1]

Hi Stacy, here are the answers:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
- No, no separate self, there never was one. What was perceived as "self" was enough automatic thinking to create and fill up an entire universe.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
- For each moment to moment experience, a descriptive thought arises. ME/I/self arises nearly at the same time and claims ownership of previous thought. That relationship or movement creates the illusion of knowing and knower (kind of like knowing triggers the arising of a "knower"). In reality, there is only now, knowing/experience (the thought overlay that happens immediately after that is fantasy).

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
- It feels spacious and deeply in the body, grounded. When thoughts/me arises it is automatically flagged as fantasy, then experience is back into the body, seeing, feeling etc...

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
- Nearly impossible to pinpoint one single event. Things have shifted ever so slightly, insight after insight, over the last month (as well as the previous retreat in late July and the two emptiness experiences that occurred then). On of the stickiest points that came up again and again, and something realized yesterday, is the fantasy of each thought content, which was hard not to take in and believe as true at face value (the content of thought can be hypnotic). This process has been of seeing clarity, then two steps back in terms of muddiness, then clarity, then 2 steps back and so on.

5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
-Choice just happens. When a questions comes up a few thoughts + attached I/me also come up. Once the process is finished within the thought stream it may feel like there is a "chooser" but that is just the story happening. Choice happens on its own.

Describe intention & give examples from experience.
- At times intention feels like a reaction to an experience (stems from reactivity). Other times it is just the I thought tailgating another thought. It all happens fast and the separate sense of I feels like intention to move one way or another.

Describe free will & give examples from experience.
- Intention and free will are the same thing, free will being a slightly more static concept while intention being the actual process that follows from "free will".

Describe choice & give examples from experience.
- The choice to type this down did not generate from anyone, it is just happening while there is looking at they keyboard.

Describe control & give examples from experience.
- My hand is flexing up and down but there is no "controller", just happening as is. Kind of weird but that's it!!

What makes things happen? How does it work?
- I guess you could call it God-nessing, or Infinite Isness, or Infinite Bob (if God is called Bob:). As there no "I" here there is no claim to "I" making anything happening.

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
- My wife says "I" am responsible for being nice to her all the time but that is another discussion. Unfortunately "I" am not responsible as there is no "I". This is going to get me in trouble with my wife:) !!!

6) Anything to add?
- It was interesting to the mind to realise that this process of clear seeing essentially initiated itself many years ago and went through incremental changes of its own making and will. The most fascinating aspect of this is how each morsel of experience (or nearly every single one) seems to trigger the the "knower/me/I/self" experience (and story therefore). If experience is the squeezing of the trigger, the "knower/me/I/self" experience is the reaction / bullet speeding out of the chamber. (thought) This may have to do with deeper levels of "selfing" yet to be uncovered with clarity. Future experience will tell.

Stacy, you have been the most skillful and patient guide. I can't begin to thank you for the help and guidance provided to date. THANK YOU!
Vito

[Anastacia42]

Oh Vito. you're great. I think the wife will appreciate the calmer, me peaceful:"you." Thank you!

Did you notice that you answered about "choice" under "decision?"

Your answers will be shared with other guides, who may have questions.

Enjoy the peace!

Loving,

[Vit1]

Thank you, Stacy!
Vito

[Anastacia42]

No one had any questions. Our work here is complete.

I'm Stacy Ann Clark on Facebook. You will have received a PM top right here inviting you to the Facebook group, if you like.

You're welcome!

[Vit1]

Facebook invite received. Will definitely join in the facebook group.
Thanks again for all your help Stacy, it's been priceless:)
Cheers
Vito

[Anastacia42]

You're very welcome! It's priceless to me, too.

Loving,