All sounds good. Just wanted to make sure I was "doing it right", I notice there's a bit of that doubt mind in my asking, in that it would be possible to "do it wrong", ha.
Hey, we need to do it perfectly right, otherwise we won't reach the goal of no self 100% bliss, right? ;-)
Yea, I am not letting fear define or control anything here. More seeing it as a guidepost or a good sign. It's basically just a chest sensation upon investigation.
That's glorious!
Not sure I follow, vipassana noting the sequence of an experience being turned into a subject/object distinction?
So if there are two sensations that are taken as one thing, noting would reveal that it is one thing happening one after the other. It may help break it into parts.
Does that make sense?
I'm not sure about this. I think the same as with the last posts investigation, anything I do like typing this sentence is sort of just happening. But I don't know if this is just intellectualization co-opting it faster than can be seen, but it still feels like the moment of action has something like intention responsible for the actual motion. Maybe this is thought as expectation, but I think there's a feeling that if I really weren't in control of this, I could relax and float around and everything would just happen "for" me. But there seems to be intention and volition associated with action, and where is that coming from? (Probably what YOU would ask ME lol)
Yes, where is that coming from indeed! Maybe the below exercise can help explore this.
It can still feel like there's control, but it can at the same time be obvious that there's no controller. It's similar to choices happening but no chooser. If you felt that you had no control at all, that might get a bit freaky.
So there may be some expectation you have of what it should be/look like?
Drink Exercise
The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.
Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.
Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.
Experiment - Finding the function of choice
Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:
1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.
2. Count to 5.
3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.
Questions:
Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.
In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?
In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?
Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?
In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?
Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?
Enjoy! :)
