Hi Tom,
No worries. Here's wishing the surgery goes well and you come out feeling great and dandy. x
Reading both back the first reads like a story that describes the experience while the second is the experience.
Yes!!
I did not realise it fully before but they change the experience / create a different experience.
In the first one there was an experience of an 'i' getting bored, thinking about going to sleep
In the second that story was not present and the experience was more about sensation than thought.
I understand what you mean, and you are right!
Let me ask you this question in a different phrasing to get to the point:
Do the stories about what is being looked at change what is looked at?
For instance:
What colour do you experience this word in - GREEN?
Can the label "Green" change the colour of the word from blue to green?
Can the label "Green" influence its blueness?
Can thought stories of greenness change this word's blueness?
Now read this question again:
Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?
:)
felt sensations more in the second one, also was more awareness of breath which allowed for relaxation.
I am not sure if one is truer than the other but the second one is closer to what is actually experienced without adding on.
I can feel tension in my stomach
It is wonderful that you are sensitive and in tune with the sensations of contraction and relaxation.
This exercise was meant to show how stressful the "I" thought is, and I believe you see it. Stacy, who has been guiding here for many years now, recommends using these sensations as tools to distinguish truth from lies:
We often lie every day & don't realize it.
For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes -- there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, but at that moment, you might be grieving the death of your dog, you might have a slight sore throat & a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lie, "I'm fine."
Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind of lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body sensation that accompanies lying.
Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.
The story of a separate "self" is a lie.
This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.
You want to be in touch with body sensations & able to clearly express them in words.
Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.
In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.
First,
can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?
Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."
How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.
It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.
Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.
Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE or Direct Experience), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely.
What is found?
If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.
1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.
I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.
Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what sensations arise as you listen.
Here's a clue: it is not that peaceful sensation you felt when you omitted the "I" in the previous exercise.
Please report back with what body sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.
"Peaceful" is an interpretation of a body sensation, not the sensation itself, for example.
Do you see that?
Lovingly,
Ankita
