To return home

[Jstar]

What makes it so certain, when it isn' anything in particular?

Direct experience is presence of something rather than absence of anything. 'i am' or presence or being or any word. There is something (not a thing), 'there is nothing' is not in experience. In other words, I can't say I dont exist or nothing exists. Being here cant be denied.

[Bananafish]

That sounds like philosophy, rather than what you call direct experience.
Such logic dropped, without thinking about it, what is it that makes you certain about it?

[Jstar]

Such logic dropped, without thinking about it, what is it that makes you certain about it?

There is nothing known, the certainty is a thought. Without it, no certainty of anything.

[Bananafish]

Who are you?

[Jstar]

Hi Kento
It has been a while.

I could not find a definite answer to the question 'who are you?'. I don't know. I cant find a permanent 'I'. There are times when I behave as a person (a body mind with a biography). But other times, when there is no thinking about it and knowing who I am.

Thanks

[Jstar]

I wanted to add that the sense of I is a concoction of Images, Thoughts and Sensations. The mechanism is clear.

[Bananafish]

Hi Star. :) It's been a while. How have you been?

the sense of I is a concoction of Images, Thoughts and Sensations.

What concocts them, and how are they concocted?
Take a look at the very moment they are concocted, and describe it.

Regards,

Kento

[Jstar]

How have you been?

Thanks for asking. Ups and downs. More ease in life. Some sort of loosening.

I saw in the announcements, that you are offering video based guidance. How does that work?

What concocts them, and how are they concocted?
Take a look at the very moment they are concocted, and describe it.

Thanks for helping me with this. My response is long having looked for the last few says.

Summary: Every movement of thought (want, don't want, must, like, don't like, “I hate that”, “I am walking”, “I am shifting my attention from thoughts to sensations in my body”, “I cant do it, because there is no me.”, "She is looking at me", "I am quiet, silent and sad, I should change, otherwise someone will question me"..……) seems like a separation and having control for a moment. Expecting and efforting seems like a me. Thoughts (and images) along with sensations in the body, visual of the body, visual of another body - triggered by a thought or perception seem to be about me. Seeking this to change, trying to catch me, “I have not had a visceral experience”, also feels like me temporarily. It looks like believing in content of thought happens first and then getting sucked into the dynamic of a me. Thoughts are rising with every movement, claiming doership and ownership. On looking no entity called me can be found. Yet, I am participating in these forums.

Details: After a thought arises like ‘I want to rest.’, another thought arises like “There is no me to rest” or ‘Who am I who wants to rest?”, that effort feels like a me. Sometimes the response is “Thats a thought’. This monitoring of every movement and commenting on it when it happens, feels like a me. Seeing of body separated from the entire seeing, along with thoughts like: “I want to exercise.”, “ I should be sleeping now.”, I want to earn more money, I don't want to hurt people, etc. (want, don't want, must, should, right, not right, ..) feels like a me, with sensations in the torso (abdomen, chest, throat, lower jaws, forehead..). When thought is seen as a thought (thought cannot think or feel or judge), a sensation as a sensation, seeing just as seeing and no labels, there is intense energy flow and after a long time there is a relaxation of that, before moving on to the next.

Efforts to pull or push, feels like a me.
Efforts to question ‘me’ feels like a me.
Looks like chasing ones own tail - asking questions and answering them, judging and then asserting that judging should not happen and so on.

Images trigger thoughts, sensations seem to collude with them and there is a narrowing of focus. This happens with external triggers too - like the perception of my neighbour/wife, or someone talking to me about something etc. Sometimes there are emotions (labelling sensations) rising and a reaction/expression mentally or verbally too (She is blaming me, He is so annoying etc.). Sometimes they just arise and disappear.

Thoughts about past or future (including images) feels like a me. Same with concerns or plans about the future. Noticing they are thoughts happens in between and the narrow focus expands to include all that is here.

Regret of not having a visceral experience yet, to get a certificate feels like effort and me. Wanting me to disappear feels like a me too.

I got lost in thinking, I should be attending to body sensations - also seems like a me, putting effort for something to happen.

I am narrowing my focus as I write these words and I should be expanding it - feels like me.

[Bananafish]

Hi. :)

I saw in the announcements, that you are offering video based guidance. How does that work?

Send me a PM and I'll let you know about the details.


So, what is your answer to my previous question in a nutshell?

First question again: what concocts images, thoughts and sensation?

Kento

[Jstar]

HI Kento

what concocts images, thoughts and sensation?

Nothing. There is nothing behind this dynamics.

[Bananafish]

Hi Star. :)

What is it that makes you call that dynamics "concoction"?

Kento

[Jstar]

Hi Kento,
Good question. I meant that it is made up stuff with components - visual of the body, another body, belief in a thought, rising sensations, images flashing. The unrelated separate happenings seem to create relationships and a me. I found that if there is no awareness, then thoughts run in the background and they are believed. When I become aware, I sense the dynamics, the story is seen as a story, there is a relaxation of it, yet lot of discomfort in the body.

So I used concoction to denote that it is not a stand alone entity, but a temporary role based (son, father, good man, guilty man..) mixture of various stuff that rises.

[Bananafish]

Hi Star,

[quote When I become aware, I sense the dynamics, the story is seen as a story, there is a relaxation of it, yet lot of discomfort in the body.[/quote]

Who is it that becomes aware?
The intellectual kind of answer would be "no one," but who is it really?
Could you show?

Kento

[Jstar]

Hi Kento,
I looked closely and found that a more accurate way to say is 'noticing happening'. It is not "I become aware".
That noticing happens - not a me doing it. No awareness also to be seen separate from what is. So 'I becoming aware' is not right. In the flow, noticing pops up - it has no seams or edges. It is thought that made it into a separate event, 'when i am aware'.

[Jstar]

Hi Kento

Checking whether you saw my note. Appreciate a response.

Thanks