Seeking the end of seeking

[Anastacia42]

You're welcome, Chris. You're doing great.

Here's a pointer to look at "control."

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience.

Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Loving,

[Bingameen]

How is the movement controlled?

I can't answer that question. It's amazing that there doesn't seem to be anything at all controlling it.

Does a thought control it?

No. Thought definitely did not control it. Thought had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No. I couldn't find anything whatsoever that could be described as a 'controller'.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

The best answer to this is that there was a response to the stimuli of the suggestion to try this. It does seem like "I" thought about it a bit before "I" attempted it though.

Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

No idea. "I" actually couldn't decide. Just kind picked one without any thought.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

No. Not at all.

[Anastacia42]

Great... except for this:

The best answer to this is that there was a response to the stimuli of the suggestion to try this. It does seem like "I" thought about it a bit before "I" attempted it though.

No, this is not the best answer. Those are only thoughts.

Where is any of that in Direct Experience?

There's is no "I." It only seems that way when you believe thinking. Thoughts lie- 100% of the time.

Loving,

[Bingameen]

Great... except for this:

The best answer to this is that there was a response to the stimuli of the suggestion to try this. It does seem like "I" thought about it a bit before "I" attempted it though.

No, this is not the best answer. Those are only thoughts.

When I wrote this I figured you would have something to say about it. I understand what you meant but what happened was there were thoughts about which hand to use. I don't really think those thoughts would have arisen without your suggestion to flip my palm. Wasn't that the stimulus for what happened? As to which hand I used, yes there were thoughts but then it simply happened that my left hand was the one. The thoughts did happen but they were separate from my left hand being the one that was flipped.

Where is any of that in Direct Experience?

In DE there was simply my hand flipping itself. No one was doing the flipping.

[Anastacia42]

We'll never know what thoughts might or might not have arisen & we don't care.

We ONLY care about Direct Experience. Nothing else.

Try another one;:

Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.

2. Count to 5.

3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:

Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

Loving,

[Bingameen]

We'll never know what thoughts might or might not have arisen & we don't care.

This right here. Outstanding! Thank you.

I'm going to do the exercises later and I'll report back afterwards.

Thank you so much for your patience. Your guidance is truly appreciated.

[Bingameen]

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

No. I didn't choose the qualities. They simply appeared and became recognized. I didn't choose any preferences either. They also appeared on their own.

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

So I didn't read the questions in blue until after I did the exercise. I didn't want to inadvertently color the exercise with thought about what I "should" be looking for. When I counted to 5 it was as if the preferences were still relatively in the foreground. I stopped and began to count aloud in order to keep the preferences out of the foreground. So it seems as if a choice was made to ensure the counting stayed 8n the foreground.

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

No. Hmmm. When you phrase it that way there isn't any recognized choosing at all. I can't explain what happens. It just happened. Have I been attributing choice to my "self" after the fact? My entire life has been "owning" events as if I were responsible for them after they have already occured.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

A feeling or sensation can't make a choice.

[Bingameen]

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Oops. I skipped a question.
I didn't experience a mental function that was choosing. when I went to pick up the drink my hand was going back and forth between the two drinks as if I couldn't decide. There was no chooser to be known. A choice simply happened.

[Anastacia42]

Good morning,

Have I been attributing choice to my "self" after the fact?

Yes.

How does it FEEL to sit back & watch these happenings go on without you?

Loving,

[Bingameen]

How does it FEEL to sit back & watch these happenings go on without you?

It feels free. In the moment you observe these happenings there is a recognition that you aren't tethered to the happening. I keep going back to the hand flipping exercise and I am amazed every time.

[Anastacia42]

Yes, good.

Here's a pointer that's very experiential. It's harder to get sucked into words with this one.

https://youtu.be/sdwBPPfuo50

Loving,

[Bingameen]

A few years back I tried to read Douglas Hardings Headless Way book. It didn't resonate with me. After watching Richard Lang's video I've spent the last two days doing the exercises and there's a different grasp of what's being taught now. It's definitely not the same as when I was first introduced to this. It seems as if slowly layers are sliding away. It's becoming easier to recognize thought arising. There is a little more of a consistency of "looking from where looking looks"(Wu Hsin).

[Anastacia42]

Good.

Can you find any separate "self" anywhere?

This is kind of like Santa Claus - once you know it's a man in a red suit, you can't be fooled again, even if it feels like "selfing."

Or like the shift of finally seeing both pictures in old woman/young woman or candlestick/faces.

Loving,

[Bingameen]

Can you find any separate "self" anywhere?

No. I can't find any "self" anywhere. It's just that there is the constant struggle with the thought that there "should" be something there. I'm beginning to recognize it more that it's only a thought. It's a long standing belief. Beliefs are thoughts that seems to be fixations. There is the noticing that these fixations/beliefs are starting to melt away like fog once the sun begins to shine.

[Anastacia42]

Okay, it doesn’t matter one bit how long you've had a belief. That's also just a thought - all of it.

starting to melt away like fog once the sun begins to shine.

Excellent!

Here is the only pointer I was given:

ButtChair

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

LOOK. No thinking.

Much love,