Always a seeker but started looking within about 7 years ago

[callmebetty]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this? "I" won't put quotes around all "my" pronouns after this sentence. All I truly know is I am aware. The self is an illusion created from observing from the place of seeming separate. When self dies, it seems another arises. I have witnessed this in part. The sense of self & separation are strong in me. I know thoughts are not me. Not even this one.

What are you looking for at LU? I know all truth is found within. I also feel this romance with seeking needs to cease. So, I'm looking for that which is right in front of my face. That which is so obvious that it is somehow alluding me. I am looking for truth. Plan and simple. A deep "understanding", or unveiling of truth, of non-duality, of isness. I am looking for me in the trees and for you in me. I want to "experience" non-dual awareness. To see "this" clearly and rewrite the false thinking of the brain that keeps "me" hidden behind this identity with self.

What do you expect from a guided conversation? Expect? Hmmm. Pointers. What else could I expect? I expect nothing really. How could I have expectations about this? I have "hope" I suppose. I hope to receive pointers that help me see clearly what is.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry? I grew up Christian. Became a hand-raising, speaking in tongues, laying hands on people "radical" Christian at 18. I had an insatiable appetite to more. In my late 30's I began seriously questioning my beliefs. I eventually became atheist/agnostic. About 7 years ago I began meditating to help me regulate my emotions. It did so much more. I began seeking a deeper understanding of who I am. I started to see my childhood trauma and the false thought patterns that had me looking outside of myself for comfort, love, compassion and belonging. I started reading Tolle, Watts, Singer... I watched everything I could find on info about me not being my thoughts. I stumbled upon non-duality groups on Reddit. Found other teachers. Read books by Jed McKenna... mind blown. Meditation isn't practiced as regularly these days. But I feel "I should". I regularly ask myself, "where did that thought come from?". I can at times sense small glimpses of space without thought. I seemed to experience an ego death of sorts while meditating once. It was as if the entire story started stretching apart like the fibers of sweater... layers of stories... until there was a brief calm followed by an immense sense of... oh crap... now what? I felt deeply that I was the one I had been searching for. I also felt "like God" in that moment. Slowly, the story came back but I haven't been the same really. I have also slipped out of the normal seat of awareness once while uncontrollably crying. It was as if I wasn't experiencing the sadness... AT ALL. But I shifted up and away from it.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.

Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you know yourself to be a skeptical person, prone to doubt, I may not be the best guide for you. I never had any doubt. I can connect you with one of our other guides who did & who can guide you better than I.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

Stacy

[Anastacia42]

Also, Betty...

Next meeting on zoom

Time: 4th of September 2022, at 7 pm - 9 pm Mauritius time, (3 pm to 5 pm GMT)

Link to all Zoom Meetings
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/9143364592?pw ... VEMHg2Zz09

Meeting ID: 914 336 4592
Passcode: LU2021

Countdown timer to the correct time.

https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/g ... nt=cursive

The event is free. If you like to express appreciation you can make a donation through PayPal using this link. https://www.paypal.me/Ilonaciunaite All donations are gratefully received.

Looking forward to our meeting.

With love,
Ilona

[Anastacia42]

Do you still want to be guided until seeking stops?

Much love,

Stacy

[callmebetty]

Thank you for your offer to guide me. I am working with Ilona privately for now.

Betty

[Anastacia42]

Very good. Thank you for letting me know!

Stacy