I'm ready to be "liberated"!

[cosmiK]

i have so many distracting thoughts that take me away..... i need to shake my head for me to come back to reality without getting taken away by thoughts. but when i look inside, i cant identify where i am... when i look outwards with my senses, i see, i can feel, i can hear, but it doesnt give me any information about where i am....

let thoughts be there, just notice them. it's fine.

okay... remember, simple LOOKING is not looking 'within' or 'without', those barriers only exist through thought. It's another story. LOOKING is just simply looking, at your experience.

so to answer your question... i cant find this I.....

Yes Nick, that's because it is not there.

If it is not there, then what is? (refer to the 6 sense streams).

What is the "I"?

[eggroll1988]

If it is not there, then what is? (refer to the 6 sense streams).

nothing is there....

What is the "I"?

the i is an illusion?

i understand but i still dont experience anything.... im really lost

[eggroll1988]

i cant feel it, hear it, smell it, taste it, see it, i can only think of it. therefore is a product of thought?

[cosmiK]

nothing is there....

nothing at all? is there no seeing, hearing, thinking?
keep looking Nick... you are still looking FOR something... what is there when you just simply look. What is there?

the i is an illusion?

i understand but i still dont experience anything.... im really lost

What do you mean the "I" is an illusion? Explain please?

What do you hope to experience Nick? What do you mean that you 'understand' - please explain?

---- after your last reply ----

i cant feel it, hear it, smell it, taste it, see it, i can only think of it. therefore is a product of thought?

GOOD Nick.... is the "I" just a thought? Check again and find it please.

[eggroll1988]

nothing at all? is there no seeing, hearing, thinking?
keep looking Nick... you are still looking FOR something... what is there when you just simply look. What is there?

i gave my undivided attention, and with great clarity i could not find the "self"..... when i realized this i felt a very wierd sensation..... my pupils dilated and i dozed off looking at the wall..... and thoughts arose like "what is going on..." "what am i looking for" "thse are thoughts"

i just came to realize that there are flows of thoughts.... and that after the arise in my consciousness... i can choose either to ignore it or to subscribe to it.....

What do you mean the "I" is an illusion? Explain please?

the i is an illusion because i am looking for something that doesnt exist....

What do you hope to experience Nick? What do you mean that you 'understand' - please explain?

the "nick' was hoping to experience something that doesnt exist.... he was hoping to experience a thought he had that didnt exist? i meant "understand" because i unerstood conceptually that there is no self... to experience is something else... and im not sure if i did just now but whatever i did experience, it was a little wierd to say the least....

GOOD Nick.... is the "I" just a thought? Check again and find it please.

yes the I is just a thought.....

[cosmiK]

NICK!

GOOD.

Do you want to keep going, or rest for today?

[eggroll1988]

so is reality just a way of seeing and experiencing based on what thoughts you choose to accept? and therefore are there different forms of reality based on which thoughts you accept? so conceptually, there are infinite times of realities since there are infinite types of thoughts?

[eggroll1988]

Do you want to keep going, or rest for today?

can you tell me has the road not ended or did i just experience the illusion? i definitely felt something but it wasnt as profound as i imagined before... so i am still not sure if that was what was supposed to happen.

[cosmiK]

Nick,

can you tell me has the road not ended or did i just experience the illusion? i definitely felt something but it wasnt as profound as i imagined before... so i am still not sure if that was what was supposed to happen.

I am not 100% sure what you experienced. I have to continue this process, and we have to keep investigating this. yes... drop all expectations, let all experiences go, and let us keep investigating.

so is reality just a way of seeing and experiencing based on what thoughts you choose to accept? and therefore are there different forms of reality based on which thoughts you accept? so conceptually, there are infinite times of realities since there are infinite types of thoughts?

Nick I cannot tell you what Reality is. Please do not ask this of me. You can explore these concerns with me, and with others AFTER you Awaken, alright? First, we need to keep investigating.

SO...

are you ready to extend this investigation?

[eggroll1988]

SO...

are you ready to extend this investigation?

cosmik, can we continue on monday? i want to continue but its 347 here... also my dad just woke up and asked me what the hell i was doing so late at night and came over and glimpsed at what i was reading... probably thoguht i was crazy since the title says "liberate me".... hahaha

anyways, if we continue on monday does this mean this process will have to start over for it to be effective?

[cosmiK]

Nick,

you've done REALLY well today.

Yes, we can continue Monday. I will give you an exercise to KEEP doing at ALL times (well whenever you can, but try to apply it to anything).

CHECK Nick, Keep CHECKING.

When you walk. Is there a Nick walking? Or is walking happening?

Move your hands up and down. Are you moving it?

Watch your thoughts.... can you control through? can you stop thought?

Do whatever you do in your day Nick... and Simply LOOK, Simply SEE,
ARE YOU DOING IT?

Keep checking, Keep looking.

Are YOU looking Nick? Are YOU reading this Nick? Are you TYPING Nick?

Much Love my friend.

[cosmiK]

i meant "can you control thought" ?

[eggroll1988]

Nick,

you've done REALLY well today.

Yes, we can continue Monday. I will give you an exercise to KEEP doing at ALL times (well whenever you can, but try to apply it to anything).

CHECK Nick, Keep CHECKING.

When you walk. Is there a Nick walking? Or is walking happening?

Move your hands up and down. Are you moving it?

Watch your thoughts.... can you control through? can you stop thought?

Do whatever you do in your day Nick... and Simply LOOK, Simply SEE,
ARE YOU DOING IT?

Keep checking, Keep looking.

Are YOU looking Nick? Are YOU reading this Nick? Are you TYPING Nick?

Much Love my friend.

thanks a lot cosmik.... i guess well talk on monday. thanks so much again for going through these exercises, they were certainly mind bending... i really look forward to monday.... until then, i will try and enjoy myself with my parents (this was horrible timing) while also trying these exercises when theyre not around... but i dont want to appear so droned out in my own self introspection they may think im on drugs! until then!

[cosmiK]

thanks a lot cosmik.... i guess well talk on monday. thanks so much again for going through these exercises, they were certainly mind bending... i really look forward to monday.... until then, i will try and enjoy myself with my parents (this was horrible timing) while also trying these exercises when theyre not around... but i dont want to appear so droned out in my own self introspection they may think im on drugs! until then!

Nick, you don't need to drone or zone, just be in the present moment and experience clearly. Simply keep asking, is there anyone experiencing? anything experiencing? any entity behind the doing, hearing, listening, hanging with parents, playing with a dog, jumping, showering? keep LOOKING.

Well done, you made amazing progress.

KEEP LOOKING, KEEP EXPERIENCING, KEEP CHECKING.

Much Love my friend.

[eggroll1988]

Cosmik.... you are an amazing guide....

At present I felt crystal clear, I see the illlusion quite clear now than ever before. When I look into the present moment, I can see my vision fading away into darkness sort of... I feel amazingly calm and peaceful inside of me, but right before the darkness overtook my entire vision, I pulled back at the last minute (or it was the thought of the self that I succumbed to), so I was pulled back into the ego state of mind.... My hands also felt numb.... I knew they were there but I did not feel they were mine....

In any case, it is 5:35 am in the morning, and I sleep a lot but holy baby buddha I do not feel the slightest bit tired... probably because there is no I to begin with.... I keep falling for the trap of the self... a part of me is not willing to let go because my fear of the unknown exceeds my curiosity at this point.... its like i see the gate but im still not sure to pass through because i dont know whats in the other end!