I need guidance to release Reactivity once for all

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Most likely the difference is more than you are noticing. Is there anything in your history, such as abuse, that might have caused to to shut down body Sensations?

And I feel a lot of mental resistance to look for it!
Can we do a different exercise? lol

Sorry you're feeling mental resistance, but I'd like to see you able to feel. It's a basic human ability.

Answer this & I'll give you something in a different one of your 5 senses next, but I will keep asking about body Sensations.

Loving,
Stacy

[Anastacia42]

Here is why those Sensations are important:

If I feel uplifted I go forward, if I feel resistance or discomfort I don't do it.

Let me expand on this for you.

Here is how to distinguish truth from lies.

We often lie every day & don't realize it.

For example, the grocery clerk asks, "How are you?" You reply, "I'm fine." While, yes. there is a sense in which we are always fine, even in the middle of suffering, at that moment, you were grieving the death of your dog, you had a slight sore throat & you had a headache, but you didn't feel like sharing all of that with the grocery clerk, so you lied, "I'm fine."

Also, it matters none at all how "distant" the remembered lie is. Besides the fact that time itself is fictional, a kind if lie, as we recall the lie it becomes present in this moment, as if it were happening now. This brings the body Sensation that accompanies lying.

Lies can be intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, even so automatic that we ourselves are fooled.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie.

This is the lie you came here to see through. Therefore, it is helpful to notice the body Sensation of lying as one of the tools for finding the truth of no self.

You want to be in touch with body Sensations & able to clearly express them in words. This will help.

Lies are usually felt in the heart or solar plexus as a contraction that we may label as tight, heavy or tense.

In contrast, truth is usually expansive. We may call it loose, light or relaxed.
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First, can you remember a time when you lied to someone you loved?

Here we count anything, lies we think of as "big" or "small" that "matter" or don't "matter."

How are you? I'm fine. No, your knee hurts, but you don't feel like discussing it with the grocery clerk.

It's a lie. A seemingly "bigger" one will work better for this exercise.

Find the lie. I don't need the whole story, just a few key words to refer to it.

Then scan your body for any Sensation (DE), particularly in the gut or maybe the heart. Check very closely. What is found?


If you think the memory you used wasn't clear enough, find another one or lie to yourself right now, make something up.

1 + 1 = 14 is a lie.

The Sun rises in the West is a lie.

I love eating worms is (probably) a lie.

Or call up a video of a lying politician & notice what Sensations arise as you listen.

I will give you a clue: it is not the "slightly lighter" Sensation you felt before when you omitted "I."

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

"Uplifted" or "resistance or discomfort" are labels, mental interpretations of a body Sensation, not a name for the Sensation itself, for example. Do you see that?


Loving,

~ Stacy

"Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion."

~ Rumi

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Thank you for the explanatory message.
After all I was on the right track, I just used inappropriate language to describe body sensations!
I have to practice the observation of body sensations, sometimes are subtle to notice or difficult to describe.

The story of a separate "self" is a lie. This is the lie you came here to see through.

But I have seen already the lie of a separate 'self' and I still use the word 'I' in sentences for convenience of expression.

Please report back with what body Sensations (not interpretations) you feel. Bodies can feel hot or cold, heavy or light, contraction or expansion, etc.

I see, what I feel is heaviness with lies (and solar plexus contraction with big lies) and lightness with truth.

Love,
Atmajnani

[Anastacia42]

Okay, good.

I see, what I feel is heaviness with lies (and solar plexus contraction with big lies) and lightness with truth.

Yes.

Now back to the falsehoods of control, free will intention, decisions & responsibility.

Your subject line says you want to release "reactivity."

Please *briefly* describe a situation where you "reacted."

Loving
Stacy

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Please *briefly* describe a situation where you "reacted."

Good news, my reactivity decreased after we started this self-inquiry dialogue!
I still get irritated in certain situations but I hold my irritation without reacting and it dissipates soon after.

For instance, I'm living with my parents for the past 2 years due to practical reasons (they are 80 and 81 years old)! I have come a long distance to accept them as they are but I still get a bit reactive with them in certain situations. I suppose we are not really awakened until we pass the test of living with the parents for a while...lol

For instance, I left a job in January and I'm trying to figure out how to be a self-employed entrepreneur. My mother keeps bringing me job ads which are not even suitable for my experience because in her mind it's not financially safe to be a self-employed person. A few weeks ago I would burst in an irritated speech explaining that that job was not for me. Yesterday, I just said ok to her and ignored the whole scene.

Love,
Atmajnani

[Anastacia42]

Glad it has decreased. Don't expect it to disappear 100% It won't.

So, take a step back...

WHO is there who could even react to your mother bringing you a job ad?


Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.

2. Count to 5.

3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:

Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

Loving,

Stacy

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

WHO is there who could even react to your mother bringing you a job ad?

No one. It's a reaction of the ego which is a false creation of the mind.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

I didn't choose the qualities, I just used my senses to list the differences (color, smell, taste, temperature). I like both drinks (cold water and hot coffee) but somehow my mind was reasoning that cold water is preferable in Summer time and hot coffee in Winter time.

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting?

No, I didn't in both questions.

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action? In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Because I like both drinks (water vs coffee), I used reasoning to choose one of them and I witnessed that mental reasoning (water is more refreshing in Summer time). If it had been water vs. wine, I would prefer to drink water without any mental reasoning. It would be more likable by my body.

Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the 'choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to 'choose’?

No, a feeling can't choose. I really don't know how preferences arise. It's a natural physical and energetic attraction, it can't be witnessed as an object. What I can witness is reasoning (mental function) that I use sometimes for choosing between 2 options.

Love,
Atmajnani

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

If you stop believing the stories your mind is making up out of thin air, this will be SO much easier!

my mind was reasoning that cold water is preferable in Summer time and hot coffee in Winter time.

So sorry, but "reasoning" equals story-telling. You could even call it lying. There is no basis for this. None. It is All made up.

It's a natural physical and energetic attraction, it can't be witnessed as an object. What I can witness is reasoning (mental function) that I use sometimes for choosing between 2 options.

Total fabrication. No reality here at all.

Keep LOOKING. Remember that you were asked to reply with Direct Experience ONLY. Where can you See, Hear, Feel (Body Sensation), Taste or Smell this myth of "reasoning?" Hmm?

What you are calling "witnessing" is better stated as believing the made-up stories your mind is feeding you. Can you see this clearly?

Here is part 1 of a pointer that may help:


This exercise makes it even clearer that labels are not the things they refer to. They are merely the content of thought that we made up.

Label-Reality Correlation

There is a belief that labels have a one-to-one correspondence with something called "reality." But there isn’t. Just like it is a generally accepted belief that labels like "good" and "bad" are inherent characteristics of "things." But actually, they are not.

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’, what is the actual experience?

Is the red color "experienced" or is color green "experienced" as the label suggests?

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with "reality?"

Or do the labels suggest something else other than what is here now (red color)?

Is green-ness an inherent attribute of the "experience" of the red color; or is green just a word label on the experience of the red color?

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

Does redness become "good" or "bad," or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?

Loving,

~ Stacy

"Not to know there is an alternative to being lost in thought is to be a kind of prisoner."

Sam Harris, from his podcast on his book, "Waking Up" on
https://www.samharris.org/ near the middle of the page

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Sorry, I understand that thoughts are not part of the 5 senses. Where does Intuition fit in? People call it the 6th sense.

Keep LOOKING. Remember that you were asked to reply with Direct Experience ONLY. Where can you See, Hear, Feel (Body Sensation), Taste or Smell this myth of "reasoning?" Hmm?

Nowhere.

What you are calling "witnessing" is better stated as believing the made-up stories your mind is feeding you. Can you see this clearly?

Yes. If I stop believing the thoughts do they disappear? I really would like to be free from unnecessary thoughts!

When you look at the word label ‘GREEN’, what is the actual experience?

I see red.

Do the labels have a one-to-one correspondence with "reality?"

No

Is green-ness an inherent attribute of the "experience" of the red color; or is green just a word label on the experience of the red color?

It's just a word label.

If the label ‘GREEN’ is replaced with the label ‘GOOD’ or ‘BAD’, is the redness affected in any way as the labels suggests?

No.

Does redness become "good" or "bad," or do the labels have no effect whatsoever on ‘reality’?
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The labels have no effect.

I understand deeply that labels don't define me or anything, but I still can't help thinking in some decision/choice making.
How can I get out of this vicious thinking?

Love,
Atmajnani

[Anastacia42]

Okay, first, did you notice that you did not answer the questions here?

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Because I like both drinks (water vs coffee), I used reasoning to choose one of them and I witnessed that mental reasoning (water is more refreshing in Summer time). If it had been water vs. wine, I would prefer to drink water without any mental reasoning. It would be more likable by my body.

Thoughts arise... that is Direct Experience. The content of thought is made up & has no meaning.

Where does Intuition fit in? People call it the 6th sense

It is usually content of thought & made up. We don't really address that here, nor do we need to in order to SEE that there's no self, no control, etc.

I understand deeply that labels don't define me or anything, but I still can't help thinking in some decision/choice making.
How can I get out of this vicious thinking?

You can't. Thought will arise.

There may sometimes be periods of no thought, but that's not a goal here.

What's so vicious about thinking?

Notice that thoughts are made up. There is no Direct Experience

See if this helps clarify things:

Actual/Direct Experience - Apple

Have a look at an apple (or any fruit you like.) If you have a ‘real’ apple, you can use it for this exercise. Google for a picture of an apple.



When looking at an apple, there's color; a thought saying ‘apple’; and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."

What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

Actual Experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something…because that is only just more thought.

Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of thought arising, but not its content.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in actual experience.

This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.

Taste labeled ‘apple’ is known
Color labeled ‘apple’ is known
Sensation labeled ‘apple’ is known (when apple is touched)
Smell labeled ‘apple’ is known
Thought about/of an ‘apple’ is known

However, is an apple actually known?

Have fun and let me know what you find out.

Loving,
Stacy

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Yes, I experienced thoughts arising and pointing to a choice.

Have you seen this function in action?

My hand grabbed the drink that my thoughts pointed to. Here is my doubt! In many situations choice/decision happens without the arising of thoughts. It's automatic and I could say there isn't any choice being made. But in some situations, for instance when I have to decide/choose which apartment to buy among a few options and when is the best time to buy (now or next year), there are a lot of thoughts arising and the choice/decision seems to follow those thoughts (reasoning). How can I be convinced otherwise? Can you guide me in this example because it's a real case in my present situation.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

I only witnessed my hand grabbing the drink that my thoughts were pointing to.
How can I be convinced that my hand would grab the same drink in the absence of thoughts?
I know from the hand flipping example that my hand was flipping in spite of any thoughts. But in this example is a bit more difficult to SEE that.

Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Nothing announced 'I'm the chooser'.

What's so vicious about thinking?

I still can't stop them and they obscure clarity and objectivity. Eckhart Tolle says he can stop thinking whenever is not necessary. That's my goal :-)

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The thought 'apple' is a label that refers to a real object that has a color, shape, taste, smell, texture.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

'Apple' is just the mental label, what is real is the color, shape, taste, smell and texture.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No, it's just a label.

However, is an apple actually known?

No, it isn't.

Love,
Atmajnani

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Yes, I experienced thoughts arising and pointing to a choice.

Have you seen this function in action?

My hand grabbed the drink that my thoughts pointed to. Here is my doubt! In many situations choice/decision happens without the arising of thoughts. It's automatic and I could say there isn't any choice being made. But in some situations, for instance when I have to decide/choose which apartment to buy among a few options and when is the best time to buy (now or next year), there are a lot of thoughts arising and the choice/decision seems to follow those thoughts (reasoning). How can I be convinced otherwise? Can you guide me in this example because it's a real case in my present situation.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

I only witnessed my hand grabbing the drink that my thoughts were pointing to.
How can I be convinced that my hand would grab the same drink in the absence of thoughts?
I know from the hand flipping example that my hand was flipping in spite of any thoughts. But in this example is a bit more difficult to SEE that.

Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Nothing announced 'I'm the chooser'.

What's so vicious about thinking?

I still can't stop them and they obscure clarity and objectivity. Eckhart Tolle says he can stop thinking whenever is not necessary. That's my goal :-)

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The thought 'apple' is a label that refers to a real object that has a color, shape, taste, smell, texture.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

'Apple' is just the mental label, what is real is the color, shape, taste, smell and texture.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No, it's just a label.

However, is an apple actually known?

No, it isn't.

Love,
Atmajnani

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Yes, I experienced thoughts arising and pointing to a choice.

Have you seen this function in action?

My hand grabbed the drink that my thoughts pointed to. Here is my doubt! In many situations choice/decision happens without the arising of thoughts. It's automatic and I could say there isn't any choice being made. But in some situations, for instance when I have to decide/choose which apartment to buy among a few options and when is the best time to buy (now or next year), there are a lot of thoughts arising and the choice/decision seems to follow those thoughts (reasoning). How can I be convinced otherwise? Can you guide me in this example because it's a real case in my present situation.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

I only witnessed my hand grabbing the drink that my thoughts were pointing to.
How can I be convinced that my hand would grab the same drink in the absence of thoughts?
I know from the hand flipping example that my hand was flipping in spite of any thoughts. But in this example is a bit more difficult to SEE that.

Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Nothing announced 'I'm the chooser'.

What's so vicious about thinking?

I still can't stop them and they obscure clarity and objectivity. Eckhart Tolle says he can stop thinking whenever is not necessary. That's my goal :-)

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The thought 'apple' is a label that refers to a real object that has a color, shape, taste, smell, texture.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

'Apple' is just the mental label, what is real is the color, shape, taste, smell and texture.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No, it's just a label.

However, is an apple actually known?

No, it isn't.

Love,
Atmajnani

[atmajnani]

Hi Stacy,

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

Yes, I experienced thoughts arising and pointing to a choice.

Have you seen this function in action?

My hand grabbed the drink that my thoughts pointed to. Here is my doubt! In many situations choice/decision happens without the arising of thoughts. It's automatic and I could say there isn't any choice being made. But in some situations, for instance when I have to decide/choose which apartment to buy among a few options and when is the best time to buy (now or next year), there are a lot of thoughts arising and the choice/decision seems to follow those thoughts (reasoning). How can I be convinced otherwise? Can you guide me in this example because it's a real case in my present situation.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?

I only witnessed my hand grabbing the drink that my thoughts were pointing to.
How can I be convinced that my hand would grab the same drink in the absence of thoughts?
I know from the hand flipping example that my hand was flipping in spite of any thoughts. But in this example is a bit more difficult to SEE that.

Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?

Nothing announced 'I'm the chooser'.

What's so vicious about thinking?

I still can't stop them and they obscure clarity and objectivity. Eckhart Tolle says he can stop thinking whenever is not necessary. That's my goal :-)

What about the content of thoughts, what they describe?

The thought 'apple' is a label that refers to a real object that has a color, shape, taste, smell, texture.

Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT ‘apple’?

'Apple' is just the mental label, what is real is the color, shape, taste, smell and texture.

Can ‘apple’ be found in actual experience?

No, it's just a label.

However, is an apple actually known?

No, it isn't.

Love,
Atmajnani

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’?
Yes, I experienced thoughts arising and pointing to a choice.

Does that work every time? No. You've said it doesn't. So, how do you know that thinking *ever* caused a choice?

There's a good book called, "Free Will" by Sam Harris that goes into this, including the famous experiment by Libet where subjects were asked to make so-called "choices" & their brains showed the "decision' being made without them, about 2 seconds before they knew it had been made.

Here is my doubt! In many situations choice/decision happens without the arising of thoughts. It's automatic and I could say there isn't any choice being made. But in some situations, for instance when I have to decide/choose which apartment to buy among a few options and when is the best time to buy (now or next year), there are a lot of thoughts arising and the choice/decision seems to follow those thoughts (reasoning).

How can I be convinced otherwise? Can you guide me in this example because it's a real case in my present situation

.

How can I be convinced that my hand would grab the same drink in the absence of thoughts?

You must observe carefully. Do not believe thoughts! They lie. Believe only Direct Experience.

No one can predict the "best time to buy."

The only problem is that you're believing the made-up content of your thoughts & failing to LOOK as directed in Colored Socks?


You are what's called "Language Bound." You're stuck in words & cannot SEE...

The guidance is LOOK & LOOK DEEPER. Use your eyes.


Go through these last couple of pointers again. Look more carefully.

Loving,
Stacy