It's just time to do this

[MsBlueSky]

Good morning Luchana,

Yes, the seeing is fragile, and limited.

I have enjoyed the last day or two, watching what arises as life with much less believed thoughts and having fun flowing with it.

But what continues to be believed is that a Sue is getting wiser, more easygoing, having more fun. No, that is not really believed, but it's more like a fun story to tell, and is still being told.

A more stressful story is still believed -- that there is awareness here, and what it is aware of over there. There is no recognition of seamless connection between it all, or at least no recognition being noticed or experienced.

Notice who or what explains what is this, and knows what is this - is there a real self narating all this or it is just thought?
Is there an you to whome thoughts speeking to and describe what is this?
Without believing the story about me who lives this life what is here? Is there a me at all?

Who or what is explaining what this is? What is experiencing this? What is realizing truth?

Such a sense of efforting, of straining to remember something you know you know (a name, a grocery list item) but can't recall. And that is just a feeling being experienced.

Who is explaining what experiencing is? I can say "no thing, thoughts arising uncontrollably and without any intelligence" but. It feels like a reasonable story more than something deeply seen.

Who is explaining what experience is? Something unnecessary. Not needed. (Well, unless you are trying to put words to it. But unnecessary to the experience of experiencing. It doesn't need to be explained, it *can't* be explained.)

What is explaining what experiencing is? What *knows* what this is?

Conditioned thoughts arising. Nope. Just thoughts arising. Thoughts arising, and thoughts that offer reasons for the thoughts arising.

What is explaining what experiencing is? Thoughts appearing.

What *knows* what this is? Is anything "known"? Isn't "knowing" just more thoughts??

Nothing "knows". There is too much, experience is too vast, to know. Nothing knows.

Does something perceive, does something experience this?

Does something experience this --

I can't answer this and it feels like one of the places of stuckness. This and "where is the doing coming from? What is making the doing arise?"

Does something experience this? Is there something to whom thoughts are speaking?

Okay, I am feeling dizzy and frustrated again. I will let these questions reverberate.

Thank you again, Luchana, for your help in all of this. <3

[Luchana]

Hi Sue,

But what continues to be believed is that a Sue is getting wiser, more easygoing, having more fun. No, that is not really believed, but it's more like a fun story to tell, and is still being told.

Nice story :-)
Who or what is believe this story?
Where is this one?
And how EXACTLY is experienced?
As an image? A sound? A sensation?
Or as imagination?

Nothing "knows". There is too much, experience is too vast, to know. Nothing knows.

Nice :-)
How does it feel?
Is it ok to not know?

What makes thigns happen?
How does it work?

Is there an asnwer to those questions?

Much love,
Luchana

[MsBlueSky]

Good morning, Luchana,

Thank you for our zoom call this weekend. It has continued to resonate.

Who or what is believe this story?

There is another story, that a habit pattern of thinking about a "Sue" is believing the story or perpetuating it, but that can't be true either. A habit pattern is an abstract thought. Even less real than a thought that points to something that can be experienced.

Thoughts continue to arise about a Sue. Recently observed thoughts have triggered more pleasant emotions that some thoughts that have been previously noticed, that's all.

Where is this one?

There is no thing and no one that actually believes this story. Just thoughts about a idea called Sue arising and passing.

And how EXACTLY is experienced?

As an image? A sound? A sensation?
Or as imagination?

hmm. The story of a Sue who is getting wiser, more easy-going, and having more fun, does seem to be being experienced. Not as an image, sound or physical sensation. As imagination. As thoughts that are judged to be pleasant. Can a thought be experienced? No, because that requires an experiencer of the thought. Is thought an experiencing? This feels convoluted and unknowable.

Nothing "knows". There is too much, experience is too vast, to know. Nothing knows.

How does it feel?
Is it ok to not know?

Trying to know, trying to see, does not feel good. It feels exhausting, frustrating, impossible.

Not knowing, recognizing that nothing is there that can be known from this vantage point of experiencing, that feels like a huge relief. Peaceful.

What makes thigns happen?
How does it work?

Is there an asnwer to those questions?

What makes things happen?

Everything. Everything is arising and changing and flowing and thoughts call pieces of the arising separate happenings. Thoughts label the happening as this event or that event, but it is all one flowing arising. It all is connected and touching and impacting everything in the unfolding. Constantly.

Nothing. Nothing makes things happen in the sense of something outside of or separate from the happening. No one thing is making something happen. There is no one thing that is apart from the all.

Unknowable. The happening is arising from... a source... a place or a condition that cannot be perceived.

How does it work?

I am laughing here. Just when the need to know and have an answer starts to fall away, the next question seems to trigger that thinking again. "How does it work? Ooooh, good question, let's see if we can find how it works!" Lol.

"How does it work?" How could that ever be known? What makes things happen has always been felt to be unknowable, that is recognized as a familiar realization, despite a lifetime of conditioning to try to find the answers and explain the answers to others.

Is there an asnwer to those questions?

No. Thoughts arise. Nothing more.

One piece I caught in the last day or so, is that while I have been seeing that I don't control thoughts, I don't think them, I can't claim ownership of them, I have not seen clearly and directly that thoughts have no control over events, are not shaping or impacting what happens, are just post-event labelings.

And I still don't know if this is true for 100 percent of thoughts. Maybe some are actually useful and come before action, if learning to do something is happening, for example. But most thoughts in an average day are rushing in after an unfolding has begun or occurred. But so quickly that I haven't seen the order, or have assumed that thoughts were the cause, and not a commentary on what is... unfolding for unknowable reasons.

Okay, again. This looking feels... exhausting. And the thought arises that it should not and I'm still not there yet. I'm making it harder than it is. Perception hasn't shifted yet.

What believes the story that I'm still not there yet?

Nothing. Nothing actually believes that. There is no thing here to believe that. And the experience of this moment, with no belief in an I, feels so very empty and peaceful. There is a thought that it is startlingly empty. And that thoughts are rushing in now to fill the emptiness with... something, anything. but if thoughts are impersonal, they are always just arising and cannot have intentions, then there is nothing trying to fill a disturbing emptiness with concepts by thinking right now.

What believes the story that I'm trying to hard and I'm not there yet? Those are just thoughts arising and are not believed by... whatever is here. The thoughts are empty. There is no belief in them, when looked at directly.

Thank you, Luchana, for your accompaniment <3

[Luchana]

Hi Sue,

Thank you for our zoom call this weekend. It has continued to resonate.

You are most welcome!

There is another story, that a habit pattern of thinking about a "Sue" is believing the story or perpetuating it, but that can't be true either. A habit pattern is an abstract thought. Even less real than a thought that points to something that can be experienced.

Exactly.

Trying to know, trying to see, does not feel good. It feels exhausting, frustrating, impossible.

Not knowing, recognizing that nothing is there that can be known from this vantage point of experiencing, that feels like a huge relief. Peaceful.

Beautiful! Yes, relief comes so naturally when the impossibiliy of knowing as such is seen.

Everything. Everything is arising and changing and flowing and thoughts call pieces of the arising separate happenings. Thoughts label the happening as this event or that event, but it is all one flowing arising. It all is connected and touching and impacting everything in the unfolding. Constantly.

Nothing. Nothing makes things happen in the sense of something outside of or separate from the happening. No one thing is making something happen. There is no one thing that is apart from the all.

I so much like the ways that you describe first the attempt to figure it out - how it works, what makes thigns happen and than the utter impossibility to directly experiencing the happening of things.
:-)

How does it work?
I am laughing here. Just when the need to know and have an answer starts to fall away, the next question seems to trigger that thinking again. "How does it work? Ooooh, good question, let's see if we can find how it works!" Lol.

"How does it work?" How could that ever be known? What makes things happen has always been felt to be unknowable, that is recognized as a familiar realization, despite a lifetime of conditioning to try to find the answers and explain the answers to others.

And I am laughing with you . YES, this couldn't be known. No one has ever known, know or will know "how does it work."

Okay, again. This looking feels... exhausting. And the thought arises that it should not and I'm still not there yet. I'm making it harder than it is. Perception hasn't shifted yet.

I is comon that looking can feel exhausting when it is something new for the system.
But can you look just once more?
For a whole day look only this:

Without relying on ANY thought can you look for "there"?
Where exactly is ?
Is there "there" or "here" or "anywhere?"


Much love,
Luchana

[MsBlueSky]

Dear Luchana,

Good morning! Checking in to say that some shifts have been happening here towards a more experiential, felt-sense seeing of some of this.

Yesterday morning upon waking, it arose that the frustration and resistance to seeing that "no separate self is running anything" is happening because thoughts are insisting that I understand what is running the show before I accept that it is not a me; that I must have an explanation for how non-random, seemingly meaningful thoughts and actions continue to unfold.

There was just a moment of felt-sense getting it -- that intellectual understanding isn't possible, it isn't knowable (especially for questions like where does thinking arise from, why does it make sense if it's impersonal, etc). That the "need to know" is what was in the way of knowing. A feeling that it isn't at all required to intellectually know anything about this. Hard to describe why this felt like a significant realization, but it loosened up some resistance.

Ironically then, this morning as I watched what thoughts were arising as consciousness returned, an explanation then arose! Or more of an understanding, that thoughts can seem to make sense or be relevant entirely out of conditioning.

The thought about the need to pay a credit card bill that is due today arose because past conditions have made that thought more likely to arise (a past regret over a late charge, a story about needing to be a better financial manager, all of that is just previous thoughts and the conditions that allows more financial thoughts to arise in the now). It's not a "me" remembering to pay a bill. It's a conditioned arising, which can make sense and be functional but still has no do-er behind it. This too felt like a loosening up of resistance to seeing the fundamental emptiness.

I did spend yesterday looking for the "there" that I think I am not yet at. For the awakened space that I think is off in the future somewhere.

Without relying on ANY thought can you look for "there"?
Where exactly is ?
Is there "there" or "here" or "anywhere?"

It is already being experienced, the destination I have been imagining, and is being noticed at least some of the time now. It has been noticed time and again since childhood. It's familiar and already known. The aliveness. The brightness of the sensory input.

Okay, not sure if this is too much "thinking" but will continue to look.

Blessings to you, Luchana!

[Luchana]

Hi dear Sue,

I read you reply and something comes up
- why you beleive in the story that you are not awakened already?
Without the story that there is someone called "me" who is not awakened, where is this me?
Without the story can it be point?

Thoughts are part of experience called Sue, but is there a self who controlls Sue? Is there an actor named Self who controled the character Sue? Look.
Without judging thoughts what is wrong with Sue? Look at DE.
Sun, walls, body, Sue - and without the story about separation - where is separation?
What is separate?
And from what exactly?


Much love
luchana

[MsBlueSky]

Dear Luchana,

I am experiencing a very strong sense of a separate and bad self at the moment, as one who has made a mistake!

Where is the Sue who made a mistake? In the feelings of fear and shame and other flavors of bad that are rising repeatedly in awareness?

No, these are thoughts, and bodily sensations arising after the thoughts, and they are conditioned arisings.

Does a Sue exist as the one who imagines she can remember how they came to be believed and to arise so easily?

Nooo. The story of a wounded Sue is no more real than the story of a Sue who screwed up. Thoughts about a distant past to explain why thoughts arise now -- all is empty, a justification for a less-bad story of a Sue, and feeding the big story of separation.

Where is the Sue who made a mistake? Is there a person who had a conversation and forgot about part of it and didn't show up at the zoom call?

This one feels much stickier. because a thought arises still that there is a person called Sue who who should have remembered and a person called Luchana who experienced frustration or disappointment. That Sue caused a problem in the world and therefore is real. And bad (oof, how quickly and strongly that thought of being a bad person arises and is identified with.)

But no, even if this one here does something, and other people (hah! what "other" ?). Let me try that again. Even as life unfolds and thoughts arise about how it unfolds, either here or elsewhere, that does not create or prove separation.

What believes the thought that there is a person called Sue who made a mistake?

Other thoughts are arising but thoughts can't believe, so it's not them. There is a great deal of thought activity and nothing that it is speaking to.

Okay, and now all of the above is being seen as just an effort to look like a better Sue, someone who acknowledges and learns from her mistake. (Which is a familiar thought from long ago.)

The looking isn't coming from a place of... integrity? The looking is happening in search of making myself look better (to whom? To myself? To these thoughts? To my story of you?) and feel better.

And you ask here:

- why you beleive in the story that you are not awakened already?

and thoughts arise that I am suffering still, and defending myself still, so I am clearly not awake.

Who is suffering right now?

Nothing is suffering. Thoughts and more thoughts are appearing in awareness and bodily sensations seem to co-arise with them. The bodily sensations are not proof of a sufferer, or a someone. They are empty phenomena when looked at directly.

Who is defending herself?

Thoughts appear. More thoughts appear in apparent response. None of these are a "me." The feelings that arise are not a me.

Without the story that there is someone called "me" who is not awakened, where is this me?

This story of not being awake yet just props up the illusion of a separation. Without the story of a me who is not awake, there is no me. There is desk, screen, keyboard, banjo music, bird song, airplane sound, cool breeze, sensation of pressure, thoughts (what are thoughts actually? I don't know what they are when looked at directly. Mental energy??)

Ha, I see that you just sort of answered that question with your next question:

Thoughts are part of experience called Sue, but is there a self who controlls Sue? Is there an actor named Self who controled the character Sue? Look.

Nothing controls the experience called Sue. This can be seen. This is also not seen, somehow. Why?? I keep typing these seeings over and over again, hoping they will be felt instead of intellectually seen.

Nothing controls the experience of Sue; the experience of Sue which includes thoughts about Sue and thoughts about the world (which are still thoughts about Sue and how Sue can move through the world in ways that feel better.)

Nothing controls the thoughts. The thoughts are all that generate the story of Sue. Without the thoughts, without the thoughts believed, there is no Sue to feel real, to defend, to protect.

The story of Sue is just impersonal thoughts, conditioned thoughts, passing thoughts.

The story of Sue is an empty belief, created entirely by thoughts.

This must be so. It can be seen no other way.

The illusion of a self here is entirely based on fleeting, powerless thoughts, echoes of earlier thoughts, empty of meaning or reality.

Okay.

I will see what arises next.

Thank you and much love, Luchana

[MsBlueSky]

oh good lord.

I got up after posting that and got in the shower, and asked myself, "who just decided to take a shower?" and suddenly, I saw that I couldn't possibly have made that mistake and forgotten to show up for our conversation. I'm not ever doing things!

To even say such a thing triggers profoundly fearful thoughts. Conditioned thinking that I must take responsibility for my actions or I am an extra bad person, and the like.

I just spent an hour agonizing over and attempting to undo something that never happened. I. Am. Not. Running. Anything. Because. I. Don't. Exist. As. That!

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or swear. Maybe I will do all of those. (And the thought still arises that I should apologize to you, but I will trust in your clarity. Nope. I will rest in the somewhat shaky knowing that you don't exist as that either.)

much love to you

[Luchana]

Hey dear Sue,

I'm glad that you are feeling better about this small misunderstanding and you can laugh :-)

To even say such a thing triggers profoundly fearful thoughts. Conditioned thinking that I must take responsibility for my actions or I am an extra bad person, and the like.

Notice that triggers and conditioned thinking is happening ALREADY without a self, Sue doing all of that.
And triggers are not happening because there is someone there to be triggered.
Can you see this?

I don't know whether to laugh, cry or swear. Maybe I will do all of those. (And the thought still arises that I should apologize to you, but I will trust in your clarity. Nope. I will rest in the somewhat shaky knowing that you don't exist as that either.)

Just notice - was there ever been someone here thinking thoughts, feeling the sensations, getting triggered, responsible, etc? Or all this is happening by itself, including the character with all its thougths and sensations?


Much love and how about the schedulle a new meeting? :-)
Saturday - 6:30 my time would it be ok for you?

Much love,
Luchana

[MsBlueSky]

Hi Luchana,

I am, as always grateful for this conversation.

Notice that triggers and conditioned thinking is happening ALREADY without a self, Sue doing all of that.
And triggers are not happening because there is someone there to be triggered.
Can you see this?

Yes. I can see this. A second emotionally triggering event happened yesterday, one that seemed to require me to take actions and seek advice and come to a decision, all of which unfolded, feeling like a me being triggered and anxious and uncertain then certain and wise and foolishly mistaken and on and on. That empty energy is winding down now.

But looking at both these events, I can see now that there was no me to be triggered. There were thoughts following on thoughts and emotions arising and experienced through this body's nervous systems, but all as an empty, almost programmed event.

Words were read. Words were spoken. Thoughts occurred. They seemed to trigger other thoughts, and familiar emotions, and yet more thoughts offering a story for why this was unfolding. Then another thought offering a different story for the unfolding. Feelings being experienced as thoughts were identified with (I still don't know what happens there, what that means. Why are thoughts followed by emotion states, until they are not? What happens that is called identification with thinking and why does that stop, if it's all empty and impersonal?)

And triggers are not happening because there is someone there to be triggered.

Yes. Whatever that triggering is and why it unfolds, it is clearly not happening because a someone is being triggered. That is seen through.

Just notice - was there ever been someone here thinking thoughts, feeling the sensations, getting triggered, responsible, etc? Or all this is happening by itself, including the character with all its thougths and sensations?

Seeing deeply into the emptiness of some big reactive experiences, not in the moment but in the looking back at them, feels true and as thought it will be easily seen again.

Right now, I see that there is not someone here thinking thoughts, feeling sensations, feeling responsible. Those are unfoldings, some out of past conditions, none really needing to be explained or understood in order to be seen as having no reality or owner or operator.

The character is happening. Unfolding out of previous conditions. Having no solidity. Utterly changeable. An interesting, fluttering phenomenon. A leaf blowing on a breeze. The experience of Sue is that insubstantial.

I don't know if that seeing continues. I will keep looking at this last question.

I can't meet Saturday though. Or Sunday. Monday through the next Saturday I could (the 18th through the 23rd).

Thank you, Luchana, this is really wonderful.

Much love,
Sue

[Luchana]

Hi Sue,

I am, as always grateful for this conversation.

you are most welcome, it is a joy :-)

Yes. I can see this. A second emotionally triggering event happened yesterday, one that seemed to require me to take actions and seek advice and come to a decision, all of which unfolded, feeling like a me being triggered and anxious and uncertain then certain and wise and foolishly mistaken and on and on. That empty energy is winding down now.

But looking at both these events, I can see now that there was no me to be triggered. There were thoughts following on thoughts and emotions arising and experienced through this body's nervous systems, but all as an empty, almost programmed event.

Yes! When a surtain emotions appear or something triggers them it is not becuase the self has back.
Just more looking is needed here each time when this happens is an imvitation. But looking in a calm water is more is easier so to speak :-)

Right now, I see that there is not someone here thinking thoughts, feeling sensations, feeling responsible. Those are unfoldings, some out of past conditions, none really needing to be explained or understood in order to be seen as having no reality or owner or operator.

The character is happening. Unfolding out of previous conditions. Having no solidity. Utterly changeable. An interesting, fluttering phenomenon. A leaf blowing on a breeze. The experience of Sue is that insubstantial.

So beautiful!

I don't know if that seeing continues.

When you look - it is always here :-)

I can't meet Saturday though. Or Sunday. Monday through the next Saturday I could (the 18th through the 23rd).

Oh, sure, How about 30th of April Wednesday - 6:30 pm /9:30 am your time?

Can you look at these questions and some spent time with each of them,

Investigate the followings one-by-one very carefully. Spend several minutes with each question.

Is there a control over ‘sensations’?
Is there a control over ‘sounds’?
Is there a control over ‘visual image/colors’?
Is there a control over ‘smells’?
Is there a control over ‘tastes’?
Is there a control over ‘thoughts’?

Is there a control over anything?


Much love,
Luchana

[MsBlueSky]

Dear Luchana,

Yes, I can meet on Wed, April 20, at 9:30 am my time/6:30 yours. Thank you!

Is there a control over ‘sensations’?

No. There is no control over sensations as they arise.

There is some thought that there is control over some sensations in the reacting to them -- scratching the itch, shifting the sore back, taking the pain medicine -- that sort of thought. But there is no control over the movement to scratch or not to scratch, nothing that is stretching the muscles, nothing deciding when or if to get up and take the pain medicine (and no control over whether or how well the medicine will work either!)

Is there a control over ‘sounds’?

No. There is no control that would stop a sound from being heard. There is also no control over when I "tune in" and notice a sound, or "tune out" and have no awareness of it at all, because attention is on thoughts or something else.

Is there a control over ‘visual image/colors’?

No control either. Seeing, visual input, can be registered here or not, depending on where attention is focused (on direct experience or thoughts), but nothing is focusing and nothing is unseeing when lost in thought. The moments of returning to presence and seeing vividly are not controllable.

Is there a control over ‘smells’?

No. I am less aware of when smelling is noticed or not noticed, but I think the same thing happens here. Smells are noticed, or unnoticed, without anyone or anything in control. Attention rests on smelling or it doesn't.

Is there a control over ‘tastes’?

No. No sensory input is controllable, either in terms of the bodily organs that receive and transmit the messages, or in terms of whether attention settles on those messages or not.

Is there a control over ‘thoughts’?

Zero control over thoughts -- not the content, not the stopping or starting, the repetition of thoughts, none of it. No control over the identification with thoughts either. Identification with thoughts happens until it doesn't. I don't understand or have an explanation for why identification is becoming more intermittent, but whatever is unfolding in the changing intensity of identification with thinking isn't controlled by anything.

In fact, control is just a meaningless label, now that I look at it. What could it even mean to "control" something? It can't be seen from where any action of exerting control would arise. What could be outside of the flow of the constant unfolding that would "control" it?

Is there a control over anything?

There is no control because there is nothing separate from the flow of arising and falling away that could exert control. I have no idea where this understanding arises from, but it is there now. And I'm still going to wake up and perform Sue tomorrow, and get caught up in the story, maybe a lot of the time even, but there is no one in control of any of that as it unfolds.

so much gratitude for you, Luchana

[Luchana]

Hi Sue,

Yes, I can meet on Wed, April 20, at 9:30 am my time/6:30 yours. Thank you!

Great! Looking forward :-)

And you did a very good looking at these questions.

There is some thought that there is control over some sensations in the reacting to them -- scratching the itch, shifting the sore back, taking the pain medicine -- that sort of thought. But there is no control over the movement to scratch or not to scratch, nothing that is stretching the muscles, nothing deciding when or if to get up and take the pain medicine (and no control over whether or how well the medicine will work either!)

Yea, a thought may brings the information about a control over reactions, but looking directly it is seen that it is utter impossibility. There is no scratching without the need of a a scratching. right? And this has nothing to do with any thought :-)

In fact, control is just a meaningless label, now that I look at it. What could it even mean to "control" something? It can't be seen from where any action of exerting control would arise. What could be outside of the flow of the constant unfolding that would "control" it?

Totaly!

There is no control because there is nothing separate from the flow of arising and falling away that could exert control. I have no idea where this understanding arises from, but it is there now. And I'm still going to wake up and perform Sue tomorrow, and get caught up in the story, maybe a lot of the time even, but there is no one in control of any of that as it unfolds.

Life goes on as awlays :-) As the character, as stories.
How "caught up in the story" happens in direct experience?


Let's look at responsability?
What is Sue responsabile for?

so much gratitude for you, Luchana

:-) Much love back.


ps. Today 16th of April 6 pm UK time
and tomorrow 17th 10 am UK time there are Unleashed monthly meetings.

You are most welcome to join

Topic: Unleashed Monthly Meeting

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/3718929853?pw ... BoUUNwUT09

Meeting ID: 371 892 9853
Passcode: HmbSF4

[MsBlueSky]

Hi Luchana,

How "caught up in the story" happens in direct experience?

Such an interesting question to look at. There was much of this happening this weekend. I was meeting with a mediator and people from our church board and a neighboring church board because our two churches have been in conflict -- they recently hired a music director we fired for sexual misconduct 5 years ago. Lots of stories! Lots of big emotional reactions. Thoughts about being in conflict and feelings of fear and anger and frustration.

Getting caught up in story -- asking how that happens requires another story and can't be a true answer. There is no me to get caught up in story. There is no me to have emotional reactions to thoughts.

What the heck happened then? It felt so strong and exhausting! What is happening exactly when it is not seen that there is no self here that is separate from all experiencing?

Is it just that identification with thoughts and feelings is what is arising as the experiencing?

No one was there to get lost in the story - but story was experienced strongly and without awareness of the emptiness and doer-less-ness of it all.

I am tired tonight. I will look and write again in the morning. Thank you for the invitation to the zoom meetings. I wish I could have attended.

Much love,
Sue

[MsBlueSky]

Good morning :)

Let's look at responsability?
What is Sue responsabile for?

Another good question to look at! The story of responsibilities feels heavy here and it seems like it keeps becoming believed, by no one, attempting to protect a story of Sue being a good enough person. Is it believed? How can it be? There is no one here believing. Just awareness rising as reality. Just experience experiencing. Something like that can be felt-sensed.

What is Sue responsible for? The character of Sue, it is clear, isn't responsible for anything. No thoughts in her control. No way to affect when she responds or doesn't. No way to control what she thinks of, or remembers, or forgets, or is moved to do, or is not moved to do. The character of Sue continues to move as a result of past conditions. Even this seeking and looking and trying to get stable in seeing is arising out of past conditioning.

Is the awareness that is felt under the story of Sue responsible for anything? Maybe? Not anything relevant to the small story of Sue, that doesn't mean anything to all of arising, or it doesn't need to unfold in any way to all of arising, so I don't think there's a sense or responsibility there.

Ooh, responsibility contains will and preferred outcome and right-and-wrong duality. It is an overlay, another story thought.

It is not the responsibility of water to flow, or the flower to bloom. There is no responsibility for actions. They flow and unfold out of conditions. Actions. Are. Empty.

This is seen from a different angle and hits in a different way.

So grateful for this process.

Much love,
Sue