All there is ..is this...

[Shantipriya]

Okay, thanks Apoorva.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello,

So I am very happy to give you some more questions. These may be my last questions to you.
Once you have answered them I will ask some other guides to have a look at this thread, they may have some more questions.
If not I will let you know and you will be contacted by another member of LU about what happens next.

Here are the questions:-
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape, or form? Was
there ever?
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
6) Anything to add?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Greetings Apoorva,

Many questions all at once !

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape, or form? Was
there ever?

On enquiry and looking, I have not found a separate 'self' or 'me' . There seems to be that there never was a 'me'.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from
your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of there being a seperate 'self' is an idea, thought, that has been firmly believed since I don't remember when. This belief seems to originate in the mind...a thought that 'I'. the 'me' is in charge of everything...feelings, thoughts, tasting seeing, hearing, movement and decisions. When there is awareness that all those things are just happening of their own accord there is a feeling here of , how to describe..joy that brings up an emotion so deep it brings tears and this is so momentary.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days

I guess it feels such a freedom , life is flowing more freely and the mind is not so strongly at the forefront , thoughts are noticed less as presence in nowness is here . So Simply bringing attention more to what's just happening , hereness , there seems to be no 'me' , just ising.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

Your guidance Apoorva and there was such a thirst to be free of the illusion of who I believed myself to be.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

I've come to notice that everything seemingly just happens of its own accord. Movement happens freely ..I'm noticing this happening more and more..a thought could come just after the actual movement..that it's not generated by the 'me' making the decision to do something..it just happens effortlessly , beautiful. Sometimes the mind steps in and I am lost in thought and then with that there could be a feeling of frustration and or annoyance ..but it's also noticed that these feelings are arising for no one and if there's no attention given then no story arises and it subsides, the feeling of frustration falls away .

There is 'no one 'to be responsible , the mind will say different though but how can the mind which I've discovered to be the 'me' be responsible..how can a thought be responsible for anything as it's not solid or real. How can an idea, a thought be responsible for the sun shinning or the car getting a flat tyre or my partners pain . It's the habit of 'me' to take on the ownership of feeling responsible , which then creates suffering. This I have known in the past but see the falsehood in it now..at first this was intellectually understood but now it is becoming more clear, that there is 'no one' in control , everything is just simply happening for no reason and nothing needs to make sense ! I don't have a clue what's going on from one moment to the next...its just amazing how it all just seems to be happening. As soon as there is identification...the me seems real and the 'I' am here arises and a story transpires about anything..its so random flitting from one story to the next...as soon as the is noticed it disappears ..so the 'me' can't be real.

6) Anything to add?

There's seems to be a coming and going.....beingness.. and me'...in and out..though this is part of the illusion.. 😁

Thank you Apoorva...for being here..your guidance and support is appreciated here.

Love Shantipriya.

[jgdapoorva]

Wonderful,

I am very delighted for you.
I have asked other guides to take a look at our conversation for further questions if needed. It might take a couple of days. Till then you enjoy seeing the world through new eyes. :) I will contact you again in a few days to inform you of further steps.

Take care. Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Thank you Apoorva.

[jgdapoorva]

Congratulations Shantipriya,

None of the other guides have any further questions 😊.
I am very delighted and happy to have had the privilege to be a part of this exploration with you.
It might be the end of the illusion. But its a new beginning. As more and more of the beliefs are seen, there could be a period of falling away of more beliefs.
I have my profile on Facebook. My name is Apoorva Dwivedi. If you wish, you might send me a friend request and we can remain connected. 😊 I would really like that.
Now, soon, you will receive further information on what all is there for you on LU. So, keep checking the notifications here. It could take some time.
Welcome on board with us 😊
If you have further questions, you might ask me.

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hi Apoorva..

There is a thought that arises that 'I' will miss this....hehe..the conversations..questions and responses are enjoyable...to speak about 'this' is wordless really...and yet so much can be expressed in the nothingness. I would also like to keep in touch so will send a friend request.

Thank you so much Apoorva for being here ...

Love Shantipriya.

[Shantipriya]

Apoorva, there are many
Apoorva Dwivedi on FB...perhaps you can send me a friend request to Ma Shantipriya..❤

[jgdapoorva]

Hello Shantipriya,

I am unable to find you on Facebook. Kindly send me a friend request on this link
https://www.facebook.com/apoorva.dwivedi07

Regards,
Apoorva