Free to live fully

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Benedikte,

I do see a lot of the stories but they still get me pulled back in.

Yes, that happens. That's not a worry at this stage. What is important is that when you see that it has happened, to acknowledge the seeing. The recognition that it happened.
If you can acknowledge that it has been seen, then you are on the way to changing the brain structure that predisposes you to wallow.
Acknowledgement is the minimum. If you can smile, even a fake one, then you also change the state of the body. ..and if you can actually laugh (yes, even a fake one) then you can flood your body with feel good hormones.
The more that you do this, the quicker you will start seeing. You will get to a point where you will see it while it is happening. At this point you will short circuit the completion of the old habit. Now we are really accelerating the new neuronal pathways in the brain.
All of this leads to a welcoming, willing acceptance of whatever life offers, and it does it in such a way that suffering is not strengthened by a futile attempt to avoid it.
i know that it's hard to grasp now, but there will come a time when even the shitty stuff is ok, and it passes quickly because we are not exacerbating it.
It's wonder full.

with love

vince

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince. Thank you for your time and effort that you put into this proces, we are going through. I am down with the flu but I will try and write a little. I somehow think the flu is a good thing because it forces me to rest and right now all my worries about the future and work are gone. I am just here right now. The next breath. The next sleep and so on.

What is important is that when you see that it has happened, to acknowledge the seeing. The recognition that it happened.

Yes I can do that. See. Acknowledge. Smile. Laugh if possible. Acknowledge that I now have started a journey to change some old habitual stuff in my brain.

i know that it's hard to grasp now, but there will come a time when even the shitty stuff is ok, and it passes quickly because we are not exacerbating it.
It's wonder full.

I feel the hope and truth in this. Means the world to me. With much love from Benedikte

[vinceschubert]

Good day Benedikte,

I am down with the flu

Ha, I spent yesterday with diarrhea and vomiting. Not the flu though. Probably food poisoning. Better now though. Fasting and sleep is a magic potion.

Thank you for your time and effort that you put into this proces, we are going through

Thankyou for giving me the opportunity to travel with you. It's a two way street as I get benefit too. Without this, I could drop into automatic responses too. This keeps me awake.

I somehow think the flu is a good thing

Yes, everything is everything. i hesitate to say good or bad, but whatever we are offered by life carries everything and nothing. It's our perspective that creates meaning.

it forces me to rest and right now all my worries about the future and work are gone. I am just here right now. The next breath. The next sleep and so on.

This is big. Being able to exist in the present is an invaluable learning experience. If you can capture a feeling (a physical sensation) that embodies the complete letting go of past and future, then you only have to remember that feeling and it will return even in the midst of turmoil. It's a subtle feeling and rather than look for it, just let it suggest it's presence to you.

Yes I can do that. See. Acknowledge. Smile. Laugh if possible. Acknowledge that I now have started a journey to change some old habitual stuff in my brain.

..and acknowledge that you have been lost in story when that happens.

I feel the hope and truth in this.

Yes, it is so. Not once during my physical discomfort yesterday did the thoughts arise wishing it weren't so. In fact I was appreciative that my body knew how to take care of itself.

Great love here

vince

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince. Okay we both have some stuff leaving the body. Diarrheah, the flu and all is well.

whatever we are offered by life carries everything and nothing. It's our perspective that creates meaning.

I Love this quote and I need to ponder on it a little. I can see how the narrator in my head says "this is good" "this is bad" "this we like" "this we do not like" and so on. I will have an little eye on this today. Not to change it. Just to see it for what it is. A machine brain doing its job. Keeping me safe. I guess.

If you can capture a feeling (a physical sensation) that embodies the complete letting go of past and future, then you only have to remember that feeling and it will return even in the midst of turmoil. It's a subtle feeling and rather than look for it, just let it suggest it's presence to you.

YES I have felt this. For sure. This place behind ALL thoughts where there is peace, quiet, calmness, no good or bad. Just LIFE. I haven't embodied it though. What do you mean by that. Something about paying attention how this feels in the body or?

Enjoy your evening Vince. Right now it is early morning where I am. With love from Benedikte.

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Benedikte,

we both have some stuff leaving the body. Diarrheah, the flu and all is well.

Yes, it is well. Today I feel pretty good. Still not much energy, but good. I wonder if also some beliefs have left us. (my desire to eat excessively has diminished)

I will have an little eye on this today. Not to change it. Just to see it for what it is.

Good stuff. It does remove the motivation for opinion and judgement.

YES I have felt this. For sure. This place behind ALL thoughts where there is peace, quiet, calmness, no good or bad. Just LIFE.
I haven't embodied it though. What do you mean by that. Something about paying attention how this feels in the body or?

The way you have described it tells me that you have embodied it. Remember that feeling. Remember it in a way that you can bring the memory of it back just by thinking of it. That way it becomes a useful tool for those times when you are feeling hopeless or down.

Enjoy your evening Vince.

Thankyou, I am.

with love

vince

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince. Just a short message. I Will notice the calm place behind thoughts. Not Force it. Just to be noticed when it is felt. With Love from Benedikte

[vinceschubert]

Just a short message. I Will notice the calm place behind thoughts. Not Force it. Just to be noticed when it is felt.

Good stuff. Come back when you are ready.

with love

v

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince.

I am noticing the quiet place behind thought and it is a nice place to hang out in.

I have been wondering about something. I have actually been able to catch myself whenever my brain wants to worry about future stuff, smile and even laugh. But then I have been thinking, isn't feeling negative emotions okay? They will come. No matter what I see in this proces you and I are exploring, I will still get triggered, I will still feel negative emotions and so on. Do I keep smiling at them?

And then I have been thinking that I am ready to explore the "non doer" ship a little more. I have been noticing that it is like my body does something (get up to get a cup of coffee) and then my narrator in the head tells something about it just a nano second behind. Is it like that? It is not ME who does the getting up. It just happens?

Have a nice day. With so much love and gratitude from Benedikte

[vinceschubert]

Good morning Benedikte,

I have been wondering about something. I have actually been able to catch myself whenever my brain wants to worry about future stuff, smile and even laugh. But then I have been thinking, isn't feeling negative emotions okay? They will come. No matter what I see in this proces you and I are exploring, I will still get triggered, I will still feel negative emotions and so on. Do I keep smiling at them?

Ha, good question. Yes, negative emotions are ok. In fact they are incredibly valuable in that they tell you that something is happening that you aren't aware of. ..but we are not at that stage yet (although you sometimes are)
What isn't ok is to get sucked into some story that exacerbates the shitty feelings. (well that's ok too if it happens)
Continuing to smile and laugh will lessen the intensity and frequency of getting sucked in.
The other thing is not to get sucked into the desire story (of not having shitty emotional responses) That's a side effect of greater awareness. Waking up. Widening our perspective is the goal, but don't get sucked into that story either. Just watch happenings. That's all.
We've set (are setting) conditions for that to happen. (and it is)
Be relaxed and watch with humour.

And then I have been thinking that I am ready to explore the "non doer" ship a little more. I have been noticing that it is like my body does something (get up to get a cup of coffee) and then my narrator in the head tells something about it just a nano second behind. Is it like that? It is not ME who does the getting up. It just happens?

What you have seen, is IT.
You just need to appreciate the ramifications of it.
We will explore them more. Soon.

love

vince

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince. Thank you for your reply.

Yes, negative emotions are ok. In fact they are incredibly valuable in that they tell you that something is happening that you aren't aware of.

The negative emotions are little gifts to see something more. I like that and will let this be for now.

What isn't ok is to get sucked into some story that exacerbates the shitty feelings. (well that's ok too if it happens)
Continuing to smile and laugh will lessen the intensity and frequency of getting sucked in.

Yes I will continue the smile and the laugh if it is possible. And I like the sense of taking it all much more light and even with humor if it is possible.

The other thing is not to get sucked into the desire story (of not having shitty emotional responses)

Yes I can see that and I am aware of that. The shitty emotional responses will come no matter how enlightened you are. Of course. It is part of our human design. And I like all emotions - maybe not anxiety so much - but they are all okay.

What you have seen, is IT.
You just need to appreciate the ramifications of it.
We will explore them more. Soon.

YES this is IT. Love that and I will keep exploring and noticing. Wondering what this person called Benedikte will do today? Will she write an e-mail? Will she call someone that want to do some work with her? Will she go for a walk? I wonder will happen today?

With love from Benedikte.

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Benedikte,

YES this is IT. Love that and I will keep exploring and noticing. Wondering what this person called Benedikte will do today? Will she write an e-mail? Will she call someone that want to do some work with her? Will she go for a walk? I wonder will happen today?

I love this. You are doing really well.

I am ready to explore the "non doer" ship a little more.

Switching this around from looking at a self not doing anything, to what you said "things just happening", is much more productive. The easy and most practical way to look at it is to say that it's all a mystery. The how and why of any happening can only be speculated on. ...but if we look really closely we can often see some of the circumstances, some of the conditions present that seem to lead to a happening. For sure, we can never see everything involved. So to look for conditions we might do it for entertainment or we might do it to learn from it. Both of these need to be taken lightly, which if we do gives us a wider perspective. Wisdom.

with love

vince

[Benedikte]

Dear Vince,
What stood out from your e-mail reply was "It is all a mystery" and "a wider perspective". Yes if we can all live more from this perspective, there will be less struggle with what is. I love that. It always help to zoom out from "the problem". I will notice the next couple of Days when I am zoomed in and when I am zoomed out.
Have a nice weekend.
With love from Benedikte

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Benedikte,

if we can all live more from this perspective, there will be less struggle with what is.

Yes, this if true, but from the perspective of the organism currently with the label Benedikte, there are no others. There are only interpretations projected onto the mystery. Seeing this, there is no struggle with what is. It is seen. It is not seen. It is accepted. It is not accepted. There is no struggle. There is acceptance or there is not acceptance. If there is an apparent struggle, there is acceptance of this or there is not acceptance of this.
If there is not acceptance of the apparent struggle, there is acceptance of this, or there is not acceptance of this.
The philosophy of a better world is a story. A good story perhaps, but a story nevertheless. To indulge in this story may be pleasant entertainment, but it has nothing to do with the waking up of Benedikte.

with great love

vince

[Benedikte]

Hey V. Goodmorning. It is a beautiful morning in Denmark.

Acceptance of everything as it is because it is as it is. Resistance. Or no resistance. Accepting or not accepting resistance. Thats it!

The philosophy of a better world is a story. A good story perhaps, but a story nevertheless. To indulge in this story may be pleasant entertainment, but it has nothing to do with the waking up of Benedikte.

Yes I can see that. These past days I feel like I have accepted everything that is. And it hasn't all been pretty. But there has been less struggle. And that feels like acceptance. What do you make of acceptance Vince?

With love from Benedikte.

[vinceschubert]

Good evening Benedikte,

What do you make of acceptance Vince?

Wow, that question blew me out of the water. A shift happened when I read it. When I talk about it for you (and others) it is a way of meeting what life offers, but when I considered it in my case, I suddenly realized that it is a concept. My experience of it is that it isn't anything. That is it's an absence of whatever not accepting would be.
i don't do acceptance. i don't do not accepting, so the concept of accepting applies but it's really the absence of not accepting.
Accepting doesn't happen. Not accepting doesn't happen. These concepts apply, but in actual living, neither of them actually happen.

with love

vince