Hi, Luchana
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. Never was
2) Give in your own words what the illusion of a separate self is and how it shows up in experience.
The illusion of a separate self creates the idea that there is an I, a person who has a body, who is surrounded by the universe, and who is controlling his body and affects his surroundings and lives his life. This illusion shows up in experience as a mental assumption that everything within the experience is connected to the I to a certain degree. All of the experience is my experience. But some parts of my experience refer to me/mine-entities (my body, my thoughts, my things), while some other parts of my experience refer to different not-me/not-mine-entities.
Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?
When looking does happen, it is clear that this segregation of experience by labeling is completely artificial and is based on the blindly accepted assumption that I exist.
3) How does it feel to see this?
Please report from the past few days.
Sometimes it feels very funny. When the looking perspective is lost, it might at times feel a bit exhausting to see, how easily the illusion of self reestablished the character story. I guess there is some aversion to being lost in the story.
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
When the return to looking happens, it's clear, that no expectations or emotions have any basis in them. It seems to be the new baseline. It prevents daydreaming and worrying from spiraling out as much as before.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
It seems that I had several instances of looking during the last two months. I'm not sure what was the last bit there.
Although, I do remember how did the laughter begin.
I was lying in the sensory deprivation tank, and the thought of the absence of a body triggered a long laughing fit. I think that's when the new baseline was established.
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Content of thoughts appears alongside all the other content of experience and organizes everything within the experience into a cohesive story. The ideas of decision, intention, free will, choice, and control appear solely within the content of thoughts to create an illusion of an actor interacting with the universe.
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.
Things just happen. Content of experience appears. I go for a walk, get into the restaurant, eat, pay, listen to an audiobook, stop listening, write down answers to Luchana’s questions. There is moving, walking, sitting, movement, tasting, thinking. Or rather there are just a bunch of images that a being interpreted as colors, or sensation, or thoughts, or sounds. Or rather there is nothing, and then there is a whole story about a character living in a universe with planets, and suns, and places to eat. Where did this story came from and how anything within the experience can happen other than as part of the content of thoughts? It’s impossible to know.
b) What are you responsible for?
I am not responsible for anything. It’s impossible to know anything to be responsible for and impossible to know anyone to be responsible.
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
As I’ve said, things happen. It’s impossible to know how it works. Any knowledge is impossible. Anything based on any knowledge or anything to do with any knowledge is therefore senseless and redundant.
6) Anything to add?
Thank you so much, Luchana :)
