Hi Rio,
Took me a while to come down to earth,as there were too many spiritual concepts. Was exhausting :)
What a lovely insight….that spiritual concepts are exhausting. Anything with a seeming spiritual connotation we find no difficulty in accepting, and yet they are as much concepts as seeming objects, including the body. Spiritual concepts are harder to see through because we hold onto them as truths and as something to aspire to. And this is how we get stuck on beliefs.
Even then most of my thinking/thoughts/stories are based on 'I' being the image of the body. I found this exercise very confusing.
Although the mind doesn’t like confusion, it is a good thing. It means something is being turned upside down and loosened. However, the belief in being a body is not something that we see through easily because there is so much ‘evidence’ that seems to put us in a body. That is why awakening is called a journey…the undoing of beliefs doesn’t happen overnight.
There is a difference between a concept and a belief. The body, for example is a concept. To say "I am the body" is a belief. Concepts are not a problem. The concept of the body is not a problem, however the belief that you are the body or reside in a body is a problem. Why? Because the belief is that the concept 'body', refers to something that is real. And how will you know if you are seeing the body as a concept or as a belief? Just see how you react when you become sick, have an injury, put on weight, lose weight…ie any body issues at all.
What part of the body did you point to?
I ended up pointing towards my face/eyes. I feel I am in there somewhere.
Okay, so let’s investigate the feeling of the sense of self around the face/eyes.
It is generally believed that thoughts are coming from the head somewhere. When we try to trace back the origin of a thought, it is often believed that it's coming from the forehead, because the attention automatically goes to the sensation of the forehead. Investigate this carefully as often as you can throughout the day.
So have a very deep look here as the forehead is one of the 'residences' of the SENSE of self. Or rather, the sensation that is labelled as ‘forehead’ is believed to be one of the locations of the sense of self. Close your eyes and look to see what the AE of the ‘forehead’ is. Then look at the following questions.
What is the forehead in the actual experience?
A sensation + a mental image (of a forehead), right?
So, can a thought come from a sensation?
Can a thought come from a mental image?
Does the mental image suggest in any that it is a ‘forehead’?
Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘forehead’?
Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘me’?
Other than thought, can you find anything that suggests the sensation labelled as ‘forehead’ is a forehead or a me?
Furthermore, it's also believed that both 'visual sight' and 'mental images' are coming from the eyes, because when it's investigated the attention automatically goes to the sensation 'of the eyes', and at the same time the mental image 'of the eyes' can appear with it.
So another SENSE of self is linked to the sensation 'of the eyes'.
What are the eyes in the actual experience?
A sensation + a mental image, right?
Can sight come from a sensation?
Can sight come from an image (of the eyes)?
Can a 'mental image' come from a sensation?
Can a 'mental image' come from another mental image (of the eyes)?
What sensations did you feel in your body that identified "I/me”?
I identified with 2 different sensations at different time while doing the exercise.
I sometimes identify with the sensation in the center of my chest other times with the area between my eyebrows.
So we addressed the area between your eyebrows above, where we think thinking takes place. let’s look at the sensation in the centre of your chest.
What is its quality that makes you associate the sensation with "you"?
How is it different from other sensations?
Were you able to find and feel "I/me" in a direct way like the other parts of your body?
No. I am unable to find I/me in any concrete fashion like the other parts of the body.
Nice looking! :) The ‘feeling’ that you are in a body isn’t going to go. Those sensations that seem like they are the body, and the sensations that seem are you in the body, have been there since day dot…but as you can see when looking…no actual “I/me” can be found.
What did you actually find? Something? Anything? Nothing?
I found that when I say 'I', I seem to identify more with the sensations. These sensations feel very familiar and more so than the image of the body/colors.
I think I am calling certain sensations as AM'ness/synonymous with being present.
The deep sensation in the center of my chest seems to be what I call 'I am'/AM'ness while I call the sensation felt between my eyebrows as awareness/being aware.
So that feeling of amness or meness is there….and we aren’t denying that, but we are saying is that we really don’t know what it is. The mind wants to qualify it with names, locations and descriptions…but it cannot be named or described; nor does it have a location. But you can see how it reinforces the idea that you are in a body! However, when you look you can see that that isn’t so.
And look again carefully to see if the awareness is something that is actually located between the eyebrows, or is it the act of seeing, thinking, hearing, tasting and feeling that all happen around the so called ‘head’ area, that seem to make it feel like that awareness comes from the head?
Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.