Calvin's journey to liberation

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

You are making an imence efort for something which is here already :)

Is there a belief that seeing through the illusion of a separate self is a very hard work?

You are in the room and you are doing a lot of work to find it. Just stop seeking and here it is.

Is there seeing and seen? Or they are one and the same?
When I look, seeing and seen seem to one thing. I can't separate the two without conceptualising.

Let me paraphrase Buddha's words
In the existence is only the existence
There is no you in the existence, no you outside existence, nor you are between these two.

So, is there an existance which sees what is existing or there is just existence/life/what is?

Yes, what is, is wild but there is only this and there is no you who must deal with it, who has the power to influence it.

Only this. What's happening now. Nobody to change it. Only observe what is happening.

What is the experience of existence observing itself?

Can you see that this this is a concept, this is an ilusion?

Look - Is there something which is NOT existence?

...Thoughts are observed as they come and go. Some are more sticky, especially the negative ones. The trick is catching them before they take over. There is also a resting in the seeing or the observing, which is relaxing.

Thoughts are part of the existence. But the content of thought is just a story, nothing to do with reality. To be stuck in thoughts means that there is an expectation for thoughts to start telling different story.

What if there is no you for whom thoughts are coming?
What if there is a room and thoughts appear , but not for the room?
Observing thoughts means that there are thoughts, but is there an observer of thoughts when there are no thoughts?
What observer looks like?

Much love,
Luchana

[calvinb]

Dear Luchana,

You are making an imence efort for something which is here already :)

True, but I have to see this for myself :-).

Is there a belief that seeing through the illusion of a separate self is a very hard work?

Yes, it can feel very far away.

So, is there an existance which sees what is existing or there is just existence/life/what is?

It can seem like there is witnessing (as a thought), but actually it's all just happening - there is just what is, right now.

What is the experience of existence observing itself?

There isn't. It just is. No observation as such.

Can you see that this this is a concept, this is an ilusion?

Yes, I can. It's just an idea.

Look - Is there something which is NOT existence?

Everything is existence. What else could it be?

Thoughts are part of the existence. But the content of thought is just a story, nothing to do with reality. To be stuck in thoughts means that there is an expectation for thoughts to start telling different story.

What if there is no you for whom thoughts are coming?

If there is no "me" for whom thoughts are coming then thoughts have no importance.

Observing thoughts means that there are thoughts, but is there an observer of thoughts when there are no thoughts?

No. When no thoughts arise, then the apparent observer disappears, so there never really was one.

What would the observer look like?

No observer, so it can't look like anything :-).


Thank you for your continued patience and support. The penny is slowly dropping :-)


love Calvin.

[calvinb]

PS I would be very happpy to have a zoom one day this week with you if that is possible, to review what we have already covered and to clarify anything. I am free for most of the week as I am not working.

Thank you :-).

love Calvin.

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

You did a very good looking.

You are making an imence efort for something which is here already :)

True, but I have to see this for myself :-).

Yes, It it seen when it is seen :-)
And it isn't obvious until it is.

It can seem like there is witnessing (as a thought), but actually it's all just happening - there is just what is, right now.

Is it just right now?
Or it has always been the case?
Look:
Is there a Calvin on a journey to liberation?

Thank you for your continued patience and support. The penny is slowly dropping :-)

You are most welcome :-)
When the penny dropps it is seen Iby no one)

What is it that is suggesting the slowly dropping? :-)

PS I would be very happpy to have a zoom one day this week with you if that is possible, to review what we have already covered and to clarify anything. I am free for most of the week as I am not working.

Thank you :-).

Sure! I will send you a PM here and we will figure it out.

Much love,
Luchana

[calvinb]

Dear Luchana,

It can seem like there is witnessing (as a thought), but actually it's all just happening - there is just what is, right now.

Is it just right now?

Or it has always been the case?

Yes, "now" is just a word, it's alway just this.

Look:
Is there a Calvin on a journey to liberation?

Haha, no. I should change the title :-). No journey, no Calvin.

What is it that is suggesting the slowly dropping? :-)

That seems to be just a hopeful thought. There is a strong resonance with "just this", and "absence of a "me". It's like a vibration, a relaxation each time this is heard, read or contemplated.


Thank you.

love Calvin.

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

Yes, "now" is just a word, it's alway just this.

And how does it feel?
Is it exciting or confusing?
Or both?

Haha, no. I should change the title :-). No journey, no Calvin.

I am smiling :-)

That seems to be just a hopeful thought. There is a strong resonance with "just this", and "absence of a "me". It's like a vibration, a relaxation each time this is heard, read or contemplated.

Beuatiful. It is known already... by no one.

Much love
And see you tomorrow

Luchana

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

as we spoke on the meeting - what woud I suggest is to continue looking in the dayly life with the simple activities. Life brings all the times so many possiilities - make use of them. Incorporate looking in your daily life.
Looking and looking and more looking. Keep looking and inquire in your normal activities each time - hundreds of times check and see if a self can be found moving the body around - walking. dryving, typing, dressing, resting, Just look at reality, the simplicity, the evidence.

There is an action and then immediately the thought claims credit for doing this action.

Can you see this?



Does a thought about the action make action happen?


Is there something REAL, besides a thought?


Just look at the evidence, in all the actions, keep returning to this focus on the thoughts as you move around. Keep checking if there is something real, besides a thought.


Here is the video that I've mention, just keep in mind that it is only for an intellectual understanding and it wont makes any difference if you do not explore this in the daily activities.

https://vimeo.com/106089707

Much love,
Luchana

ps. Oh, and thank you very much for your donation!

[calvinb]

Dear Luchana,

Thank you for the video - very interesting. I have seen it before, in fact, but it was great to see again, and in some ways disturbing. 6 seconds from brain to conscious mind !

There is an action and then immediately the thought claims credit for doing this action.

Can you see this?

Yes, definately. There is more of a space between the action and the "me" claiming the actions.

Does a thought about the action make action happen?

No. The action is already happening by the time the thought comes in. But it can sometimes seem like thoughts come first. Also, a thought can arise, such as, "I want a coffee", and then no action happens.

Is there something REAL, besides a thought?

This is a BIG question. What does "real" mean? Thoughts are words and images that pass in and out, so can they be real? Real to me seems like that which is being seen, heard, felt etc. in the here and now. What is real?

ps. Oh, and thank you very much for your donation!

You're welcome :-).

If you are free tomorrow (Thursday), we could have a zoom. Otherwise, we can schedule again after the 16th August after a short break :-).


Have a lovely afternoon.

love Calvin

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

you did a very good looking.

But it can sometimes seem like thoughts come first

yep, it only seems that way :-)

This is a BIG question. What does "real" mean? Thoughts are words and images that pass in and out, so can they be real? Real to me seems like that which is being seen, heard, felt etc. in the here and now. What is real?

What is real? That there is a thought about a waterfall?
Or that there is a REAL waterfall?
The thought is real. But its content (waterfall) is not.

Can you clearly see this?


As we spoke on the meeting - use this time during the vacation and look at what life brings.
Look at how decisions and choices are made.
Reply from experience.

Much love
Luchana

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

after our last meeting here some questions to look at:

Investigate the followings one-by-one very carefully. Spend several minutes with each question.

Is there a control over ‘sensations’?
Is there a control over ‘sounds’?
Is there a control over ‘visual image/colors’?
Is there a control over ‘smells’?
Is there a control over ‘tastes’?
Is there a control over ‘thoughts’?

Is there a control over anything?


Much love
Luchana

[calvinb]

Thank you Luchana. It was lovely to chat recently :-).

Is there a control over ‘sensations’?

No, they just happen.

Is there a control over ‘sounds’?

No, they appear without intervention.

Is there a control over ‘visual image/colors’?

No, I can't stop them unless I close my eyes.

Is there a control over ‘smells’?

No, although sometimes it would be good :-)

Is there a control over ‘tastes’?

No control. The taste is the taste, and preference arises in thought.

Is there a control over ‘thoughts’?

Not at all, unfortunately :-).

Is there a control over anything?

No. It's all just happening / appearing. It's a mystery, unknown. I have no idea what's going on.


Thank you again.

love Calvin.

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,

Thank you Luchana. It was lovely to chat recently :-).

You are most welcome. And thank you for the donation!

You did a very good looking. Let's see

Is there a control over ‘visual image/colors’?

No, I can't stop them unless I close my eyes.

With the eyes closed is there a choice/control what to see?

Is there a choice not to see "black space" if you close your eyes?

The question is - can the seeing be turned off? Both with eyes open and closed?

Is there a control over ‘smells’?

No, although sometimes it would be good :-)

:-) no chance

Is there a control over ‘tastes’?

No control. The taste is the taste, and preference arises in thought.

Is there a control over preferences?
Is there someone or something to chose what to like or dislike?

Is there a control over anything?
No. It's all just happening / appearing. It's a mystery, unknown. I have no idea what's going on.

:-)

Is it ok not to know?
How does it feel?
Strange? Wierd? Scary? Funny?
...

Much love
Luchana

[calvinb]

Hello Luchana,

Thank you for the zoom satsang. It was very helpful :-)

You are most welcome. And thank you for the donation!

No problem. It's a pleasure.

With the eyes closed is there a choice/control what to see?
Is there a choice not to see "black space" if you close your eyes?

No. Seeing just happens, even if it's black.

The question is - can the seeing be turned off? Both with eyes open and closed?

No, it can't. But I am greateful to be able to see :-).

Is there a control over preferences?

No, there isn't. Preferences just happen automatically. I can't choose to like or dislike something.

Is there someone or something to chose what to like or dislike?

Haha, so the answer above needs to be rephrased :-). A better answer is that there is nobody to choose to like or dislike.

It's a mystery, unknown. I have no idea what's going on.

Is it ok not to know?

Yes, it is.

How does it feel?
Strange? Wierd? Scary? Funny?

Before it felt strange, but now it actually feels a relief. Concepts fall away, and there is relaxation in not knowing. Who would I be to know anyway? God?


Thank you Luchana,

love Calvin.

[Luchana]

Hi Calvin,


you did an exellent looking.

Before it felt strange, but now it actually feels a relief. Concepts fall away, and there is relaxation in not knowing. Who would I be to know anyway? God?

Beuatiful.

Is there an assumption that someone (God?) knows something?
:)


Is there something else which is not clear, and something you would like to investigate?

If there are no doubts I can send you the final questions. Than the other guides will look at your replies, to see if I've left something uncovered. Then... then we will see. There is no end :-) All this may need time to settle in. How much time - no one knows. The failing away of the beleifes and concepts may last till the end of this organism.

So are you ready for these questions?


Much love
Luchana

[calvinb]

Dear Luchana,

Thank you for your response :-).

Is there an assumption that someone (God?) knows something?

There is some kind of intelligence at work it seems, for this magificent display to exist. But not a knowing as such.

Is there something else which is not clear, and something you would like to investigate?

Nothing is clear, lol. There are no questions for the moment. There is just a settling-in / getting used to this. There's a moving in and out of the "me", that's stablising...

Thank you.

Have a wonderful day.

love Calvin.