Hi Warissem,
Hope you're doing well. I know its been a while, so here are my responses, finally!
What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
The last push was, not really sure, if there was a push per se, but there’s an ever nagging feeling of discontent and boredom, all thoughts of course, but believed so hard, until its looked at and seen for what it is. But I’ve been curious if what I take to be reality is really reality. When I look, its mostly made up of imagination, once in a while its right here in whats happening and there’s an okayness with whatever is arising.
Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
To “me” it really seems that these are real, that we are deciding, have intention, free will, choice and control. Since there’s nobody there, who would be doing these things ? Life happens, circumstances appear as though we chose them, when they just appear, like impulses just appear that seem to lead to circumstances, that lead us to believe we made that choice. As I read that, its kind of a revelation.
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.
When I look, for example, even the most mundane tasks is an impulse happening. For example, there’s an impulse to make bread, so then the body gathers ingredients to make bread, it looks as though i made this happen when baking happens with no doer, desire for the bread arises and the body obliges.
What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
Since there is no one doing anything, then theres no responsibility which sounds absurd to the “self" (practical things like bills need to be taken care of, but the body that needs to survive does that on its own) but since there are just appearances, even responsibility is that, it is entirely made up. For example, as a biological creature, we seem to have predispositions and certain traits. I’m by nature an introverted person but can sometimes stretch “myself” to appear extroverted and at times enjoy it, but I’m not responsible for that character trait, so naturally anything that arises with that character with its traits-likes and dislikes, and predisposition is not it’s choosing, its almost like a program that runs on its own.
Anything to add?
This dialogue has been both fascinating and challenging at times. ITs fascinating to see that most of what “reality” is, is unquestioned thoughts, sometimes its so pervasive and fast, it’s missed entirely and it overlays the real reality. So, this is already whole and complete, everything- the joy, the despair, the seeking, everything is included, sometimes that is really challenging because there are pervasive thoughts or maybe what we call conditioning that is reinforced so many times, its automatic. And those are just thoughts too, because without those thoughts, there’s a lighter weight with this.
Thanks as always for your time!
Joan
