stopbitingmytail

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

no resonance with him/this

Okay. That's why there are so many ways to do this.

I will tell you that I'm there on the recordings. That weekend started my own most intense awakening experience ever. And I typed the transcripts.

I'm the one laughing at the end of Zooming In on Death.

Try this one:

Fruit Exercise

Have a piece of fruit handy, or something that you like to eat.

1. For the first couple of minutes imagine you are eating the fruit…..feel the sensations of chewing, the taste, the texture, the fragrance, hear the crunching sound that the chewing makes. Really enjoy the imaginary piece of fruit as much as you can.

2. Then for the next couple of minutes actually bite the fruit and see the difference.

Experience the fruit with curiosity and dive into the sensations of chewing, swallowing, the sounds and the taste. Really enjoy the experience of actually eating the piece of fruit.

3. Then for another minute or so describe the taste and smell in as much detail as possible.

Write about it here. What was the experience like?

After you have done this, tell me what you noticed when you compared these three experiences:

1. Imaginary fruit

2. Real fruit

3. Description of fruit

[iignite]

thanks Stacy
for beeing so open - one never knows, where-when- how and what might hit you.....

Somehow I knew how this cantilope will taste, watery, sweet, typically sweet as cantilope - the idea also made my mouth water, had some idea about the texture - not crunchy like apple....

but eating brought a smile - teeth going softly into it - slurching swalloing - the messy part with water dripping down my fingers- biting big pieces small - each bite different form in the mouth - swallowing ..all that creating some joy - chewing more "to get the most out of it".....the typical taste so present - in that moment only this taste!
(as a not-much-fruit-eater a revealation)

- imagination can do already a good job,
- but the real thing (experiencing) is a world apart - quite filling the experiencal space - not only the mouth -
- and thirdly "only words" - quite meager in their ability to capture the experience of eating

1. imagining: more in form of picturing
2 experiencing taking big space of taste, touch, inner sensation
3 expressing - verbing - seperate of experience

george

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

Of course, the point of the imagination/description/eating fruit exercise is that SEEING no self is entirely different from thinking about it or describing it. As you say,

the real thing (experiencing) is a world apart - quite filling the experiencal space

Can you find an inherent "self" anywhere outside of thought?

Please write what is true for you.

Then try this one:

Palm Flipping Exercise

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.

2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

Does a thought control it?

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?


How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

Who or what​ ​chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?


Loving,

[iignite]

Hi Stacy,
medias in res:

Can you find an inherent "self" anywhere outside of thought?

wordless "I am-ness" , a sense-feltness, no more, a rare "experience"....don`t call it self.

Palm Flipping Exercise
Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:

How is the movement controlled?

the timing, the speed, the way of turning is all automatic - not controlled - surprised. ( "long time before" it got the imput: Flipping Hand - but it seems unrelated)

Does a thought control it?

no

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

turning "by itself" , no controller, no order, no talker

but on the other hand there can be "a voice" telling......

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

sometimes can be impulse (no decision behind it), bordem (impulse for change), impatience ("go flip") , curiosity (lets see whats different between Decision-making and automatic move) , so there can be "drivers for change" interfering.

Who or what​ ​chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
ha ha, just happened, ("was easier for me to look at the left hand" could be a rational)

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

no, I guess just the mechanism between input,brain and muscles fullfill the tasks smoothly.....

greetings from george

[iignite]

sorry Stacy, s.th. must have gone wrong yesterday - I thought I had send my answer - but may be you did not get it? send it again.....loosing a day-not a good way

[Anastacia42]

Hi George

No rush. It's a holiday here. I may take a break the rest of today & tomorrow. I'll reply no later than Tuesday here.

wordless "I am-ness" , a sense-feltness, no more, a rare "experience"....don`t call it self.

on the other hand there can be "a voice" telling......

sometimes can be impulse (no decision behind it), bordem (impulse for change), impatience ("go flip") , curiosity (lets see whats different between Decision-making and automatic move) , so there can be "drivers for change" interfering.

Just more content of thought - yes?

This "voice," isn't it just thoughts about thoughts? Just more content of thought that is a made up story?

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?

You don't have to do them again, but LOOK. What do they point to? [/color]

Loving,

[iignite]

hi Stacy,
hope you had a relaxing 4thJuly....

with "sense-feltness" I did not mean "self-feltness", I do not mean to compare with the big exclamations as:
an Al Haq - I am - I am that I am - the rock-solid affirmation of "am". I do not think its philosophical to give "beeing" a place in examining, and I would not talk more about it except that its the key, which never was lost nor found....Is that an idea or experience?

may be I am caught in "level-confusion" , since "self" or "Self" in other traditions have different connotations.....and may be I carry those

so back to your invitation:

Explore ‘Sense of Self

This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

did not understand what you are pointing at.

location?

the heart (thats my first unfiltered answer, then comes "no")

shape/size?

- no

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

no

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

no

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

none of it.
but what about "emotion"? - very closely mixed with "feeling of self" - one step deeper than just thought. may be you say feelings are just thoughts in another wraper? - so you see, i have to bring up my "thoughts about"...

What is found

oh je, I cannot say (yet)
george

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

"feeling of self" - one step deeper than just thought. may be you say feelings are just thoughts in another wraper? - so you see, i have to bring up my "thoughts about"...
What is found

Emotion is simply Sensation plus content of thought (also known as a story, an interpretation, or a lie. it's made up.)

oh je, I cannot say (yet)

Sure, you can, if you want to. All of those "no" answers? What is found is NOTHING. Have you noticed?

Keep LOOKING the way you looked for the gap between thoughts. Can you find any self anywhere?

Loving,

[iignite]

hi Stacy,

Emotion is simply Sensation plus content of thought (also known as a story, an interpretation, or a lie. it's made up.)[/quote
I do not know, what kind of emotion you refering to. I see e-motion as a movement in the physical - even without content of thought f.e. compassion, wonder, anger - not "my emotion" , just energy of a certain kind, a sensation to be felt.
I am not talking about love or other 4letter words.....

What is found

stillness

keep LOOKING the way you looked for the gap between thoughts. Can you find any self anywhere?

The story of self does not live in the gap - its part of the made up story....selfing all over the place.

I am not contently convinced
love george
PS gladly I had made a copy, may be again it did not get through yesterday? - here my reply from yesterday.

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

a sensation to be felt

I am talking about ALL emotions, no matter how many letters make up the label/story about it. Simply Sensation plus content of thought, stories, all made up. Yes, just a Sensation.

The story of self does not live in the gap - its part of the made up story.

Correct. Self does not live anywhere but in story.

I am not contently convinced

Yes, there is a very good reason for that. You cannot be "convinced." And even if you were, that is not SEEING for yourself, which is the only way to *know* there is no self.

Here is another pointer to try. Remember, you can repeat any and all pointers. Any one of them might open the door to SEEING. You might even go back to the Dropbox recordings and try the exercises, anyway. (Up to you, of course.)

Try this one. I like it a lot:

Stream Exercise

Imagine for a moment a scene, one of a little mountain stream which is tumbling down a hillside gully, not far from its source. It has been raining and so the level is quite high.

Consider in your mind's eye, if you can, how it flows to the right over a little rock (where, had the level been lower, it would probably have gone around the rock), then the flow goes to the left over a tree bow, and then slows a little in a broader place, before splashing over a small cascade into a pool, and so on down the mountain side.

Does it choose any of its directions?

Is it even really a separate entity different from the water deposited in it, the rocks, the depressions in the ground, etc.?

Is it even the same entity moment by moment, or more the product of weather conditions and water, like an ever-changing pattern?

1. Can you find anywhere where 'George' autonomously intervenes into life, choosing something that is not the product of all the elements; that is not a part of the overall flow?

2. Now please consider a regular decision made eg; what to wear in the morning, or what to eat for lunch, and describe to me what happens. There are environmental factors, there are colour preferences (but where did those come from - any autonomous intervention there perhaps?), practical issues (such as what is available), available time for preparation, purpose (eg; need to fill up for the day, or to look hip and cool for that person!) etc.

Where in there is an autonomous entity intervening in the flow of life? Can you find someone somewhere?

3. Can anything be found for which 'George' is responsible – if so responsible to what and for what?


How does it FEEL?

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Hi again,

I want to add another resource: Ilona's videos on Deep Looking and other topics related to seeing no self. Maybe you will resonate more with her than with my friend on the Dropbox recordings.

You can start with this one and find any others you like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Uo4xPAimA&t=113s

Loving,

[iignite]

Hi Stacy,

the water in the little mountain creek..

Does it choose any of its directions?

no, it follows the circumstance

1. Can you find anywhere where 'George' autonomously intervenes into life, choosing something that is not the product of all the elements; that is not a part of the overall flow?

there is no "solid George" - he is just part of the same movement of all the elements - even if he thinks he is a Deus ex machina -he is one of the moving elements.

2. Now please consider a regular decision made eg; what to wear in the morning, or what to eat for lunch, and describe to me what happens. There are environmental factors, there are colour preferences (but where did those come from - any autonomous intervention there perhaps?), practical issues (such as what is available), available time for preparation, purpose (eg; need to fill up for the day, or to look hip and cool for that person!) etc.

preferences appear, f.e. "I would like s.th. green today" (like "inner vision")(salad or beans) - or circumstance of no time for cooking: just eggs are fine - circumstances present certain possibilities - preferences take their pick, no "who"as a decider.

Where in there is an autonomous entity intervening in the flow of life? Can you find someone somewhere?

not a someone found or needed for the flow of life. but a puppet-puppeteer theater playing out.

3. Can anything be found for which 'George' is responsible – if so responsible to what and for what?

yes and no
yes in the way that all is playing out in him, the whole dreaming dreamed in him - he included
no in the way that he is just another dream object in the flow of life

spacious - unknown - (is trust an issue here?) -

Stacy, I will be on the road/in the air for a couple of days - tuesday back normal - but trying to be responding...
george
and yes, I like listening to Ilona

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

That's fine. Practice looking at Actual Experience & laughing at stories as much as you can.

yes in the way that all is playing out in him

If you find no "George," what "him" is there for anything to play out in?

Loving,

[iignite]

.....the "him" in "..."
Thank your for formulating the "Task" wherever......
Luv george

[Anastacia42]

Hi George,

Thank your for formulating the "Task" wherever......

Of course! We can SEE anywhere.

.....the "him" in "..."

Can you find this "him" anywhere in Actual Experience? Seeing? Hearing? Sensation? Smelling? Taste? without going to content of thought? LOOK closely.

If not, why bother referring to this non-existent "him?"

Loving,