The awakening of M

[Malikaocean]

Hi yes, all ok...just 2 extremely busy days..will reply to the rest tomorrow.
Thank you Lex , and goodnight.
Malika

[lex]

ok

No rush

Take your time

[Malikaocean]

Hi Lex,
a few more answers and insights.

What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

I'd say the main difference is that I had an intellectual understanding of the concept that there is no I , but it became an insight rather than an idea. An experience of spaciousness where I couldn't find an I except for a thought that there was an I.
This made me feel more free of negative thoughts that tell me things about an I that I need to improve, or prove, fix, change, ect... and now I identify with the thoughts less and know that these are thoughts about an I that isn't there...
I feel more openness to what is, or what arises. More peaceful and lighter.
Before I felt more stress in my head and an urge to figure out what you were saying or asking.
And I think a bit of a desire to show that I know what you are saying,,,(haha)

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual?

The last bit that pushed me over was something Rupert Spira said in a video about how the ego can chose and that from source we don't chose and how our ego then mixes these concepts into an untrue idea that if it can't chose anyway that we might as well just go to the pub ...and that the only true and last choice the ego makes is to turn inwards instead of seek outwards...this kind of cleared the confusion in my head about the 2 parts I felt I had. ( hope this makes sense)
And I suddenly felt something clear in my head and realized we are all the same inside...just have an other body and there isn't an I that lives in it.

The combination of your guidance,lots of pointing out to direct experience by W and already having experienced presence, and that video led to that moment, Thank you !
I think that gradual too, as my concepts slowly were stripped away...

Do you decide, intend, choose, control events in Life? Do you make anything happen? Give examples from your experience.

There is an ego that thinks it choses, and can chose to try and control what just arises from source that isn't a choice.

So really there is no choice , but whilst believing there is an I we can self sabotage by identifying with the thoughts we have about what arises from source and a wish to control that. ( going against the flow, some call it)
A more peaceful, present experience is to experience what arises and be one with it, when we realize there is no I.

An example of control could be not taking action when you feel from inside you want to and you identify with a thought instead that says don't take action as you might fail, or it could be dangerous, ect...and we just freeze or stagnate and the mind soon throws in examples of other times we failed, ect....and we don't take action (done that)
I think I also call this - not listening to what is , but tuning in to radio station 'mind control'.
Like we listen to the wrong station.

How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it.

I have described it to 2 people and they are wanting a guide too now...I think I just said I saw there was no I and felt more aware, present, clear.
So I would describe it as a tuning in to the right radio station. A return home to what always was, is and will be. A clarity as to where to focus our search for clarity, freedom, bliss, joy, silence and awareness. That it is right here, no where to go , nothing to do, just see it is here, now.
A shift of focus.
I'd say give yourself this gift.

Thank you again Lex, beautiful you share so much of your time guiding here.
I truly am honoured, Malika

[lex]

Hi Malika,

I can see that you've seen.

Maybe you can clarify a few things from your answers:

An example of control could be not taking action when you feel from inside you want to and you identify with a thought instead that says don't take action as you might fail, or it could be dangerous, ect...and we just freeze or stagnate and the mind soon throws in examples of other times we failed, ect....and we don't take action (done that)

That is such a complex construction that my poor brain had to read it three times.
That are a lot of 'you's. I see just a war of opposing thoughts and intentions. Where is the control here?

about how the ego can chose and that from source we don't chose and how our ego then mixes these concepts

What is this ego? Can it choose and mix concepts?
Again I see some inner war between divided intentions. Very much part of human nature, although I can see this wavering in my cat sometimes too. Any entity (I,me) involved here?

I have described it to 2 people and they are wanting a guide too now

I'd say: pay it forward. Becoming a guide is not a 5-year course. There are a few basic (mostly administrative) instructions and guidelines. Only real prerequisite is that is seen through the illusion of self. As you can understand now, what makes it difficult is that it is so utterly simple.

I'd say give yourself this gift.

The gift of being robbed from something that is not there anyway. Hence it is the very last gift one can give to oneself.


Love,

Lex

[Malikaocean]

Hi Lex,

That is such a complex construction that my poor brain had to read it three times.
That are a lot of 'you's. I see just a war of opposing thoughts and intentions. Where is the control here?

Haha, I am sorry...indeed a bit of a long sentence...the control is a cluster of thoughts that we identify with, think it is real and that then can stop us from taking action. Or even just being aware of anything.

What is this ego? Can it choose and mix concepts?
Again I see some inner war between divided intentions. Very much part of human nature, although I can see this wavering in my cat sometimes too. Any entity (I,me) involved here?

The ego is a complex thought cluster...that can have an effect on how we live and perceive life.
Like a filter that blocks the view.
It is not an entity, but does cause a lot of confusion in the human mind. It isn't an I but most of us people think it is an I.
And yes as long as there is an experience of an ego as an I , it can affect our choices. ( more though as a sabotage of the choices that arise from source)
I think in both things you highlighted it is the same inner war.
Your cat has an ego too ? haha, he must be very interesting.

I'd say: pay it forward. Becoming a guide is not a 5-year course. There are a few basic (mostly administrative) instructions and guidelines. Only real prerequisite is that is seen through the illusion of self. As you can understand now, what makes it difficult is that it is so utterly simple.

I meant these people want to be guided too like I was...not be a guide ( although you never know...they might later)

The gift of being robbed from something that is not there anyway. Hence it is the very last gift one can give to oneself.

Maybe then - do yourself a favour and un-gift yourself ?

Love, M

[Malikaocean]

Hi Lex,
ooooppppsss , I think I misunderstood what you said about being a guide...you meant by pay it forward... If I might want to guide?
Malika

[lex]

Hi Malika

I think I misunderstood what you said about being a guide...you meant by pay it forward... If I might want to guide?

One of the early symptoms of awakening can be to forget about your own existence. Don't worry. It will come back.☺️
And yes, that's what I meant.

Your cat has an ego too ?

No, he doesn't, but I can occasionally see him waver with competing intentions. Also I've seen rudimentary self-consciousness in animals (can be my projection, though), and something that we could label guilt, which basically is fear of punishment.



No doubt that you've seen through the illusion of I, yet your answers still raised some questions:

the control is a cluster of thoughts that we identify with

What is identification? How does that work. What identifies with what? Is identification possible anyway?

The ego is a complex thought cluster... It isn't an I but most of us people think it is an I.

What is the difference between "the ego" and "an I"?


Liefs,
Lex

[Malikaocean]

Hi Lex,

And yes, that's what I meant.

I shall consider if I feel I could guide.

No, he doesn't, but I can occasionally see him waver with competing intentions. Also I've seen rudimentary self-consciousness in animals (can be my projection, though), and something that we could label guilt, which basically is fear of punishment.

Yes, cats are so interesting and so intelligent and of course many other animals. I was fortunate to live with some rescued wild animals and I certainly think they have a rudimentary self-consciousness or even more that we think...

What is identification? How does that work. What identifies with what? Is identification possible anyway?

Identification is attaching to a thought, then adding more thoughts to it to prove it is right or true. Creating a cluster of thoughts that then pulls us into a vortex of emotions. These are then perceived as an I in and by the mind. We shifted our attention out of the moment to the thoughts.
The mind then thinks that this 'separate entity' is who we are, actually it is just thoughts in the mind.
Maybe then identification is just a shifting of focus out of the now. Then there is the illusion that we are something separate.

What is the difference between "the ego" and "an I"?

There is no difference. Ego is what we think I is, just a complex collection of entangled thoughts that feels like it creates separation from source, or conscious aware self.

liefs, Malika ( hope this explains it...)

[lex]

Hi Malika,

Do you agree that the process is finished?
All clear?
Anything to add?
Can I have this thread archived?

Wonderful and heart-warming working with you.

Love,

Lex

[lex]

Hi Malika,

... but that it is the same "thing" that looks through all eyes and lives in all things.

Another guide had a look at the process and wondered if you could elaborate on this.

[Malikaocean]

Hi Lex,

Yes, I agree that the process is finished.
And yes , all clear and you can archive it.
Only thing to add... maybe I should have had chosen a more anonymous name, but I don't think I can change that.
Let it be a lesson about visibility...

Wonderful and heart-warming working with you.

Thank you, that is very kind.
I enjoyed our dialogue too and so appreciate your time.

Love, Malika

[Malikaocean]

Hi lex and other guide,

.. but that it is the same "thing" that looks through all eyes and lives in all things.

Another guide had a look at the process and wondered if you could elaborate on this.

This means that there is only awareness, or god. So it is awareness looking at awareness through every form it takes on.
A bit like the Namaste greeting in India you say to each other, meaning I recognize the god in you.

I used the word 'thing' as a bit of a lack of an other word to describe, but I could say awareness.
If I look in to your eyes, it is awareness seeing awareness..which sometimes can be experienced as a melt down of boundaries, a merging...a love. When love falls in love with itself.... but hey you might have noticed if you ask me things I can get all philosophical , so I better stop.
Unless he/she would like me elaborate more.

Love, Malika