It seems close but yet so far

[Ronaldo]

Yes, fear will stop you in your tacks, will not let you look.
Fear tries to protect you, it lights up the signal "danger". But what is it protecting?
You can actually ask it, as if it was an entity, "what are you covering", "who are you protecting?"
Is there any real danger here? No! there is already no self, there is already no Simon, only thoughts of Simon.
How would anything change by just seeing that clearly?

Let me know how it goes (later) and I can give you more later after I get off work.
Best
Ron

[CuriousBeing]

Had a big argument this morning and although there was some self talk about it all I feel a bit detached from it. Thoughts come up defending beliefs and I catch them and let them be, not get caught up in the story. The fear comes and goes. Don't think I'm through just yet. Sitting with it.

[CuriousBeing]

Looking there is no Simon. Never was and never will be. I know this but I still feel the emotions and attachment to it. It's here and I'm seeing it. Asking "where's simon" there is just experience. The mind is quieting more and more as I ask. Will it be obvious once it is seen or can the process take a while to drop the belief?

[Ronaldo]

Try answering my questions from before, each one.
You're working too hard at trying to grasp this, just let it soak, don't rush it, you can't make it happen, you can only let it happen.

[CuriousBeing]

When you ask a question that cannot be answered, what happens?

The mind is still when asked. Seeing, hearing, experience is here.

Can you clearly see that there is no control over thoughts?

Yes. Thoughts happen and are seen.

Can you clearly see that attention is shifting and is never something you control?

Yes. Thoughts claim control before or after.

Is there any doubt that you are not the thinker, doer, feeler, see-er?

No. Thoughts arise claiming the I and Me but they are seen as thoughts and content.

Where is Simon?

Simon is a concept. A word pointing to a story.

How is Simon any different than Harry Potter?

For starters Simon isn't a Wizard. Joke. Simon is not real, just like Harry Potter. Both are characters in a story.

What is identifying?

Nothing is identifying. Thoughts come up and claim a me. Believing the thought content to be real is what makes it feel like reality.

What is left if the thought content is ignored?

There's just quiet space. Don't know how to describe it. Just beingness.

[CuriousBeing]

Thank you for finding the time to respond during work hours. Your guidance has definitely helped me very much along the path so far!

[Ronaldo]

Hi Simon,

Thank you for finding the time to respond during work hours. Your guidance has definitely helped me very much along the path so far!

You're quite welcome, I'm very pleased to hear that you feel change!

I liked your answers. Now that you have a good grip on what experience is and how thoughts insert the narration over actual experience, it's a great point to take a look at the bigger picture and see how this mysterious and beautiful story is woven. We spent this time to decompose the mixture of reality and story into bits, that's where clarity shines. But life isn't about ignoring thoughts or bypassing emotions with "there is no self, there is no feeler, nobody here to suffer or be anxious about".

So now without trying hard to break down everything, just look at the simplicity of things:

There is a story happening, it appears as if there is a Simon person, that is wanting, seeking, feeling.
But where is that person, when there is no story about the person?

Look at the sensations again, is there a body feeling sensations? Or sensations felt are labeled "my body"?
Is body a physical thing or physical thing is another concept, pointing to sensations that are just there?

Feel the sensation of weight on the chair.
do you actually need the label "butt", "chair" to have the experience we call "butt on chair"?
What do these labels add?
Sensations are here. Do they need to be labelled body in order to be present?
What does the label "body" add?


Check - are you inside the body? Are you outside the body? Do you own the body?
Is a body even needed to feel sensations?


Let me know what you find and how this feels.
Regards
Ron

[CuriousBeing]

When fear arises do I shift attention and be with it fully, questioning it's presence or shall I see it as a distraction and focus on looking?

[CuriousBeing]

When I ask the questions it's quiet. Thoughts come to explain it all but there is no answer it seems. I am is a good word for it. I am not the body. I don't know if I'm inside or outside the body.

I will answer these questions more directly later but right now it's silent and I am sitting in being, fear comes and goes.

[CuriousBeing]

I feel as though I'm faced staring at the gate. It's stronger today in that I'm more centered and still but there's still some resistance in the form of fear and doubt. I watch it and wait.

[Ronaldo]

Try this method instead, when the fear arises, don't question why, don't look for a reason just allow the fear, observing it with curiosity as to how it feels in the body, what happens in the body, focus on the sensation. No repairing, no fixing no negating stay with it, you're in no danger at all.
It's like when you're watching a scary scene in a movie, it's the identification and imagination that cause the fear and the body reacts as if it is in danger, a simple misunderstanding, how can an imaginary story harm you in any way?

What do you do to fall asleep? Can you force it?
When you feel frustrated and you push and push, stop. It's more like letting it happen.

[CuriousBeing]

I will do just that. Thanks. Will I know when it is seen? Will there be any doubt?

[Ronaldo]

Stop looking for a result, as long as you do, you're feeding the story.
look at experience, that's it.

[CuriousBeing]

Experienced some frustration since the last reply.

But where is that person, when there is no story about the person?

There isn't any. It's all thought content being mistaken as reality.

Look at the sensations again, is there a body feeling sensations? Or sensations felt are labeled "my body"?

Only sensations are felt. Sensations are felt and thoughts label them. The sensation is felt at position x and labeled finger touch.

Is body a physical thing or physical thing is another concept, pointing to sensations that are just there?

Body is a label for the thing we and others see.

Feel the sensation of weight on the chair.
do you actually need the label "butt", "chair" to have the experience we call "butt on chair"?

There isn't actually "butt on chair" just sensation. Thought provide context but it's not real, sensation is.

What do these labels add?

Context.

Sensations are here. Do they need to be labelled body in order to be present?

No. Labelling can lead to thoughts which can intensify them.

What does the label "body" add?

It's only a thought. It doesn't add anything. If believed it can lead to ownership "my body" and "your body".

Check - are you inside the body? Are you outside the body? Do you own the body?

I don't know where I am. There is no one to own the body.

Is a body even needed to feel sensations?

I cannot see any other way.

Am I being asked to sit with ask these questions and then look and wait for an answer? It seems my mind quiets and doubt or frustration arise which I note and let pass. It feels like a brick wall.

[Ronaldo]

Dear Simon,
Is there frustration from trying to get it, or from what or how I said about not looking for the result? Please elaborate.

Is a body even needed to feel sensations?

I cannot see any other way.

I'm not sure I follow, let me clarify the question: to feel a sensation called "eyelid closing" is there a need for a concept body? Does the sensation stand on its own or it needs a body to be formed in thought first?
To be clear, you can answer this simple question from just what you already know, that's the first impulse isn't it? But that will serve nothing at all. Alternatively you can actually dive in spend a few minutes with this, feel that "eyelid" sensation, try and see if it needs a body - that is how you investigate, not with thoughts.

Am I being asked to sit with ask these questions and then look and wait for an answer? It seems my mind quiets and doubt or frustration arise which I note and let pass. It feels like a brick wall.

Frustration from looking is very common during the inquiry, and it is caused by trying to grasp, you are used to thinking, and as you sit with a question you quickly go into stories without even noticing. Asking a questions "what comes in small bags of dry leafs and is green and yucky" will be answered "tea", but asking "who is thinking" will not produce an answer, it will be bring some silence where you can stay for a bit, it may produce a realization if you don't go into new thought stories but stay with questions and looking. I'm sorry it's hard to explain this because you can't explain or describe experience.

We're in no rush here, I'd like you to assume you're on a long journey and there is no real destination, can you just look with curiosity and joy of process and the smallest discoveries?

Where is the urgency coming from? There is no prize to win, it's not you who will wake up from the illusion because there is no you thinking. Thought just happens, just is, to nobody there.

Put aside trying to get away from something unpleasant, resolve anxiety or loneliness or whatever else. Be here for the ride. Looking for a result or an explosive moment may or may not happen, realization can be subtle, everything is the same and yet it should be clear and you'll know.

You're doing well, just try to apply the above!
Regards
Ron