Come back home

[Sidstrate]

Of course, take your time

Blessings
Sid

[Polet]

Hello, Sid!

What has changed in normal everyday life since the start of our conversation?
Examples might be to do with relationships and how things are with the people closest to you

I noticed this long ago, I stopped suffering from irritation with loved ones, I am no longer moved by the difference in views, the disagreement between us. I'm just pass through it.

What hasn’t changed at all?

Events are happening as before, people are the same. Life lives by itself.

What is the biggest difference from when you started here on the forum, to now?

The inner and outer worlds have connected - there is no me.

With gratitude,
Polet

[Sidstrate]

Hi Polet, thanks

Where do you think you are right now?

Is there anything else you want to look at?

Are there any doubts about self still left?

Blessings
Sid

[Polet]

Hi, Sid!

Where am I now? I dissolved.
No expectations - expectations that later there will be something better or differently. Thoughts and emotions no longer linger. Actions just happen, events just flow.
Freedom from experiences came. Everything turned out to be very simple and clear
I hope it's forever?

With gratitude,
Polet

[Sidstrate]

I hope it's forever?

Have a little look at the 'i' here

Also, look at the desire for this experience to last forever, is it there now? what is it? Where does it come from?

Who or what is doing this wanting?

[Polet]

Also, look at the desire for this experience to last forever, is it there now? what is it? Where does it come from?

All questions and desires are just thoughts - that come and go. Thoughts are just there. Any description is another text.
There is no "I" and never was.

Polet

[Sidstrate]

Question 1
Have you seen clearly for yourself that there is no entity called 'i'?

Question 2
Are there any doubts about the non existence of 'i'?

Blessings
Sid

[Polet]

Hi, Sid! Thank you for the questions.

Question 1
Have you seen clearly for yourself that there is no entity called 'i'?

Yes. Such a screw as "I" is absent, there is no such thing to which this "screw" can be screwed. There is thinking, movement, breathing, etc., but all this exists by itself, no one and nothing controls it.

Question 2
Are there any doubts about the non existence of 'i'?

Now there are no more doubts! I actually saw it a week ago.
I watched a film about whales, about their life, how they communicate with each other and with people. After the film, a couple of days later there was a dream in which I saw myself in the depths of blue water, sunlight came through the water and I was aware of this swimming in a dream, and at that time something incredible happened -in dreaming I understood that it was a dream. When I opened my eyes, I continued to feel weightlessness in this blue water, covered with bliss, a feeling of dissolution, community. After this dream, the state of lightness and unity with what was happening was strengthened. In this unity there is nothing personal, there is no "I".

Polet

[Sidstrate]

Hi Polet
Have your expectations been met?

Do you think you are comfortable to answer some final questions to check your insight?

Blessings
Sid

[Polet]

Do you think you are comfortable to answer some final questions to check your insight?

yes, of course, let's try.

Polet

[Sidstrate]

HI Polet
I hope you are well! :)

I'm going to ask a series of questions to see where you are at.

OK, Please explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.

Please describe it as fully as you see it now.

Sid

[Polet]

Hi, Sid!

Glad to hear you!

The illusion of "I" is imposed on us from childhood, when a child begins to believe that he has a name, that he really wants something, or he has some choice. But all this is deception - there are thoughts, sensations, we have become identified with them and have ceased to see deeper ... have ceased to see that there is no one who "pulls the strings", makes movements, breathes, thinks - everything just happens regardless of anything - the hand knocks on the keys, thoughts appear and disappear, eyes blink ...

Polet

[Sidstrate]

Thank you for the description but it is too general for our purposes.

I need you to look now and tell me what you see

Where is the self? What is it made up of?

Where do these thoughts come from? What is the source of thoughts? Try and see past your knowledge. Where are your thoughts right now?

What makes up the self?

Blessings
Sid

[Polet]

Hi Sid!

Thanks for your patience and time.
I may not be able to describe in words what is happening to me now, but I will try.

It happens that "I" appears together with thoughts, it happens that together with sensations. "I" is a label that we using to hang in communication between ourselves, part of our speech, part of the language to convey the story of the process that is taking place.

Now thoughts turn on when you need to work, write a text, a plan of action.
At the same time, in the process of doing, everything happens by itself, without the participation of me / I, the processes proceed by themselves, like thoughts that come and go, the body moves or is "silent". Thoughts about sensations or actions do not belong to anyone, there is knowledge (awareness) about sounds, movement, breathing ...

Polet

[Sidstrate]

Thank you Polet

At the same time, in the process of doing, everything happens by itself, without the participation of me / I,

So what is the me/I? what does it comprise of?

Not theory. Look now. And only talk about your experience, not generally about everyone.
Where is your me/I right at this moment?