Dear Warissem,
Are you happy with what you found? What has changed, what hasn’t changed in normal everyday life?
I am very happy with what I’ve found. In normal, everyday life I’m able more easily able to step back from strong emotions or sensations and find an all-encompassing stillness at my core. There is frequently a smile, which wasn’t there before.
As for what hasn’t changed—everything and nothing. The same daily routine comes and goes. But somehow the perspective is different.
What do you notice different in relationships with close people?
I’m more easily able to empathize—to put myself into the other person’s shoes. I have more patience and calmness. With COVID and the lockdown, however, the only person I interact with regularly is my wife and we presently have other stressors, so I cannot judge how this has affected our relationship.
Is seeking still going on and if so, what are you looking for?
I’m trying to better integrate this new perception into daily life. I can step back and see the illusion of separate self, but I realize that there is a lot more to do so that I live in this moment without distraction—without the illusion still trying to cloud my mind. This has been getting easier, but there is a long way to go.
Can you say with a big fat yes, that it is clear, a separate self is an illusion?
Yes, it is clear that separate self is an illusion. Whenever I look, there is no “me” to be found.
Best,
Josh