Awakent

[Abner]

Seeing that, is there something else to know?
Maybe not to know, but there is still something
else to see.

What do you notice in normal everyday life, that looks different?
I see that reactions/responces happen automatically, without a me doing it.

Is search still going strong or has it diminished?
Still going strong, although I see that things happen by themselves, without a me doing it.

If searching is still on, what are you looking for?
Im looking to see 100% that there is no me.

Love

[Ilona]

Thank you. You say that you see that actions responses are happening without a me. What is happening with me as a doer?
What is not happening on automatic, naturally and effortlessly?
Does narrative about me requires me to talk about it? Is narrative a response that is happening or that is done by you?

When you say I am looking to see that there is no me, what is the i and what is the me?

Explore this.
Love

[Abner]

What is happening with me as a doer?
Practical things, like calculating.
This is where I get stuck. Why isnt everything
happenning without a me..or at least why dont I see it.


What is not happening on automatic, naturally and effortlessly?
Exactly what I stated above, or at least it appears that way.

Does narrative about me requires me to talk about it?
No

Is narrative a response that is happening or that is done by you?
Just a response, not done by a me.

When you say I am looking to see that there is no me, what is the i and what is the me?
The I appears to be for practical things. I think
that the I and me are the same...both are pointing to seperate selves.

[Ilona]

Why isnt everything
happenning without a me..or at least why dont I see it.

This is a wrong question to ask. Why question requires an explanation for an answer and explanation is never the truth, it’s something that you believe because you want to believe at that moment. So let’s drop the question and ask this differently
Is it true, that everything is happening without a me as a doer?

Practical things. Calculating. Is that something learned and happening automatically or not?
Do you think thoughts of numbers or they too show up?
If you add 375 and 315, what is the answer? Watch it as it is happening and see is the answer something you do or something that shows up? Is effort something you do or something happening?

The i appears for practical things, ok, where is the i when things are not practical? Is I something that comes and goes? Is separation happening when practical things need attention?

And can you identify where is the sense of separateness? How do you know that it is separateness and not a tension, contraction, resistance or muscular pain? What informs you that this sensation is separating something? Is that sensation separate from what is happening?

Write what feels true after observation. Take your time.

Love.

[Abner]

Is it true, that everything is happening without a me as a doer?
Yes

Practical things. Calculating. Is that something learned and happening automatically or not?
It is something learned, that is happenning
automatically.

Do you think thoughts of numbers or they too show up?
They just show up.

If you add 375 and 315, what is the answer? Watch it as it is happening and see is the answer something you do or something that shows up?
Something that shows up is the correct ans., but
It feels like there is a me doing it , an effort.


Is effort something you do or something happening?
Ok...its something happenning.


The i appears for practical things, ok, where is the i when things are not practical?
The I is absent.

Is I something that comes and goes?
It "appears" that the I comes and goes.

Is separation happening when practical things need attention?
It appears that way. It appears that I am calling
on the brain to do a job.

And can you identify where is the sense of separateness?
It appears to be when doing practical tasks.

How do you know that it is separateness and not a tension, contraction, resistance or muscular pain?
I dont see it as tension, contraction, resistance,
or muscle pain.

What informs you that this sensation is separating something?
Theres a shift to thinking.

Is that sensation separate from what is happening?
No, I see that it is not seperate.

If I look at it from your last question, I see that
there is no seperation, and "everything" happens
automatically..at least I see that "now".

[Ilona]

Good work!
Now let’s look at language itself and how it creates an illusion of a doer.
Here is an exercise. http://markedeternal.blogspot.com/2012/05/labels.html
Do it here or on paper and tell me, how description of what is happening affect what is happening?

Enjoy
Love.

[Abner]

The description is just a label, and
has no effect on what is happenning.

Love

[Abner]

Did the exercise. Looked at
"The trick of language".

Was always aware that the word is
not the thing...I just dont seem to
get the jist of it. Maybe because
I know that "me" is just a word that
refers to me, but I still think that
there is a me besides just the word.

Love

[Abner]

Just to mention:
When I said ..... is happenning
as opposed to I am .....
I could feel a little less tension in
my body, and less seriousness.

[Ilona]

Maybe because
I know that "me" is just a word that
refers to me

Right. And where is that me precisely? Can you look at that me and tell what is there.
Love

[Abner]

There is no me..just thoughts about
everything, including a me.
Responding is happenning.

[Ilona]

Aha! And how does it feel to see this? Are thoughts free to come and go? Are thoughts about you, about the person, about the character welcome, or are they resisted?
Is responding/resisting welcome too?

write what you feel is true.
Love.

[Abner]

how does it feel to see this?
It feels normal...nothing special

Are thoughts free to come and go?
Yes, ofcourse

Are thoughts about you, about the person, about the character welcome, or are they resisted?
The thoughts are all welcome..
Some of the reactions are not.

Is responding/resisting welcome too?
Yes..glad they are included.

[Ilona]

What is not allowed to freely come and go?
What should be different?

Love

[Abner]

What is not allowed to freely come and go?
Everything is allowed to come and go...It just has to be allowed freely
to pass.

What should be different?
Nothing should be different

Love