Awakent

[Seamist]

Ok.
You take care, too, Abner.
With my bestest wishes to you
Sioned

[Ilona]

Hi Abner.
If you wish to continue, we can in this same thread. Starting fresh.

Love.

[Abner]

I want to continue...more than anything..
Still an 11
Thank you so much

Be well...Abner

[Ilona]

Great. So tell me, what are you looking for? In full detail.
Take your time And be fully honest about it.

[Abner]

Hi

I am an obsessive, compulsive thinker.
I tend to worry about the future and spend
even more time regreting the past. Heavy
baggage.
What im looking for is to be free of a
compulsive mind or at the very least be able
to not take it so seriously.
Seeing that I am not my mind would bring
tremendous joy and a sense of freedom.
Seeing that I am not the doer hopefully would
release me from regret.
Maybe I expect to much...but if I get even a
small % I will be thrilled.

Please note that I do not get notification
of posts. This has been going on for months.
Yes, the box is checked...to notify me of posts.
I really have no "great" problem with this.
My reason for stating this is that sometimes
I can not get back in real time...but I do check
many times a day.

Thank you so much for working with me...I
thought that it would be very difficult to get
a new guide.

With great appreciation...Abner

[Ilona]

No worries about notifications, I usually reply once a day, so if you check daily, that’s fine.

Now, you say you are looking to be free of a compulsive mind. What does that mean? No thinking process anymore? No particular thoughts? Or that all thoughts are allowed?

And what does your mind want? Is it tired? Does like to exhaust itself? What is that the mind wants the most?

Check it and tell me, what comes up.

Love.

[Abner]

Hi

Now, you say you are looking to be free of a compulsive mind.
What does that mean?
It means that I live in my head thinking
that I am a seperate individual...existing in
my head...as thought
No thinking process anymore?
No, I know thinking continues...but I dont want
to be totally identified, or defined by it.
No particular thoughts?
I dont expect to stop any form of thoughts.
I just wish to let them come and go without
dwelling on every little thought.
Or that all thoughts are allowed?
Yes all thoughts are allowed. I dont think that
I can control the mind.
And what does your mind want?
Dont know if the mind is capable of "wanting".
Its just a collection of thoughts.
But I want it to not be my master.
Is it tired?
Contradicting myself...It does "feel" tired, or
at least I do.
Does it like to exhaust itself?
It appears that way.
What is it that the mind wants the most?
Dont know that the mind can "want" even though
I said it can "feel"...l want it to slow down
and not be a dominating factor.
I want it to not be so busy

[Ilona]

Thank you.
Let’s look here

Dont know if the mind is capable of "wanting".
Its just a collection of thoughts.

What do you mean by collection of thoughts? Is there a container of thoughts?
How are thoughts perceived, in bunches or one thought after another, one at a time?
What makes a collection of thoughts?
Do you own thoughts?
Are their your thoughts and not your thoughts in experience?

Can you stop thinking at will for 3 min? Try and see.
Does wanting to stop thoughts from coming stop them from coming?
Is wanting to stop thinking helping to slow thoughts?

How do you see all that in your actual experience (forget all you read or heard, the invitation is to see what it is like here now)

Love.

[Abner]

What do you mean by collection of thoughts? Is there a container of thoughts?
Reading your questions, I realize that what I did was only repeat what I have always heard.
Theres no container, and I dont know if its a
collection..but I know its just thoughts.
How are thoughts perceived, in bunches or one thought after another, one at a time?
One after another one at a time.
What makes a collection of thoughts?
I think thoughts that apear to be related.
Do you own thoughts?
No
Are their your thoughts and not your thoughts in experience?
Not sure I understand the question especially
referring to "experience" but the thoughts just
come so I have always assumed that they
were all my thoughts..but not knowing where they came from

Can you stop thinking at will for 3 min?(Try and see.)
No
Does wanting to stop thoughts from coming stop them from coming?
No
Is wanting to stop thinking helping to slow thoughts?
No, I want/try to stop thinking...but in wanting/trying there is
thinking.

How do you see all that in your actual experience (forget all you read or heard, the invitation is to see what it is like here now)
I see that thoughts come randomly...I cant
control them...I can really see that I am not
the thinker, but regardless I tend to believe
them...theres my problem, believing my thoughts.

[Ilona]

So there is no thinkerk but there is a believer? Interesting. Is believer listening to thoughts and believes them? Where is that believer now? Does one thought believe another thoughts?

So thoughts are coming, it is pointless to try to control them, then is it ok, that they are coming? Can they come as they please?
Like colours, you open eyes, colours are here. You don’t fight green colours, because you don’t like them. You don’t try to change pinks to blues, right? But with thoughts coming you try to let some thoughts come and others not, or when it’s too many thoughts you make them less noisy. Hm.

Can you see that thoughts are given?
Does there need to be a believer of thoughts for the thoughts to keep showing up?

Explore this. But please take more time, don’t just answer with whatever comes up in the moment, test it, experience it, see what it’s like in your experience.

[Abner]

So there is no thinkerk but there is a believer? Interesting. Is believer listening to thoughts and believes them?
It apears that I am the believer, who listens to
thoughts and believes them.
Where is that believer now?
Dont know but it feels like in the head
Does one thought believe another thoughts?
No, so the "believer" is just a thought.

So thoughts are coming, it is pointless to try to control them, then is it ok, that they are coming?
Yes its ok.

Can they come as they please?
Yes, I dont choose them.
You don’t try to change pinks to blues, right?
Right

But with thoughts coming you try to let some thoughts come and others not, or when it’s too many thoughts you make them less noisy. Hm.
No I dont try to stop them...because I cant.

Can you see that thoughts are given?
Yes, ofcourse.
Does there need to be a believer of thoughts for the thoughts to keep showing up?
No, and by the way, all thoughts are not believed
but many are.

I find it interesting that you pointed out that, I think that there is " believer" but not a "thinker".
Thats a new slant on things for me. At least I
finally see that I am, really not, the thinker.


Explore this. But please take more time, don’t just answer with whatever comes up in the moment, test it, experience it, see what it’s like in your experience.

[Ilona]

Thank you for reply.

Let’s see what is this believer made of.

Where is that believer now?
Dont know but it feels like in the head

Investigate, till you know. Where is the believer? Is there a believer? Is voice in the head a believer?
You say it feel like in the head. Is that true? Is sensation in the head = a believer? Which sensation is the believer? Is that sensation a contraction, a muscular tension or an entity that believes thoughts?

Does this believer decide what to believe and what not to believe?
Or is believing an automatic process?

Have fun with this. And if you can, use the quote function, for the ease of reading.

Love.

[Abner]

Investigate, till you know. Where is the believer? Is there a believer?

No its just a thought

Is voice in the head a believer?
No

, there is no voice, no real believer..just a thought

You say it feel like in the head. Is that true? Is sensation in the head = a believer? Which sensation is the believer? Is that sensation a contraction, a muscular tension or an entity that believes thoughts?

There really is no believer just thoughts that
apear, to me, to be in the head

.

Does this believer decide what to believe and what not to believe?
Again...No believer...just thoughts and I dont
know how the decision mechanism works
Or is believing an automatic process?
Yes it is automatic

Sory, the reason that I dont use the quote function is that when it is a long post the quote function disappears from my screen when I get towards the bottom. My computer shorted out
so I use my phone all the time. Its perfectly fine in all instances except using "quote" in your system.

This was a difficult exercise. I had a hard time
relating. Sory

Have fun with this. And if you can, use the quote function, for the ease of reading.

[Abner]

Hi
Sorry about my answers to last exercise.
The good part, I think, is that because of your questions, I have seperated myself from my mind/thinking. I put a name on it.."The Believer"
There is no "beliver" only a thought of one.
The problem, if there is one, is that I realized
this before the exercise, so the exercise was
hard to respond to.

Love..Abner

[Ilona]

Thank you.

Can you look in your experience right here right now and tell me what is not happening as an automatic process? What is not give? What is that you are actually doing to make this happen?

Explore and write to me.

Love.