I cant, answer this qustions. Im not even sure my self, now. Really. I cant do it, cant even make up my mind about what was what! :( Is it possible to move on from those?Hi Vladi, yes there was some good introspection and some confusion. Whether the clear introspection "sticks" or was drug induced ,we'll have to see. Lets look at what you noticed thru direct experiencing, not opinion/labeling. Heres what I hear you saying;
1) You went in the mind. It was clear, there was no "me"
2) You labeled it as "ordinary" and didn't like it.
3) when you examined and looked for a "me" and it wasnt there, you decided this time, you DID like it.
4) You had an experience of a light rising and "everything feeling fine"...that its the "shit"!!!
5) You felt all your issues where gone, you were out of body and experienced a "new bigger self_experience". this didn't feel so much like 'your' issues.
6) You have doubts because you are tripped out and can't tell if anything is "real" ; ) or not. But you feel everything will be ok.
Are any of the above ,REAL or beliefs and expectations ? Please list which is which.
Also, how can "no-self" be a "bigger experience" than ME ? REAL or belief ?
And the no-sef felt bigger becuse i was not in the body but the body was in my experience...that sensation of being, that tingeling feeling felt expanded beyond the body.
Ok, this is moving on :)Let's also try a little different approach. Read what you wrote me, take your time. Look at everything closely. Of what you wrote, what remains when you remove any ,"story of Vladi and his drug use and quest for enlightenment" ? What has no story attached to it , no labels, judgements ,opinion, expectation. What just IS , in the "raw" moment.
Take your time. Look very closely. Tell me what is noticed .
Everything else remains, If the story of me is removed nothing changes in reality. Al is the same. House, computer screen, feelings of sitting. Memory of what happende comes up.
Thats it.
Have a nice weekend, vladi.
