Hi Chris,
Thank you. There's definitely a fear-of-being-brainwashed thing going on. Subtly...
What we do here is quite the opposite of brainwashing :)
That’s something we certainly have to avoid, since brainwashing wouldn’t help you at all.
Brainwashing happens only intellectually, so it would be just a new belief taken on.
And this doesn’t work that way. It’s not about having a new belief.
It would be utterly useless to replace the belief in the self into a new belief of no-self.
Actually some people gets into this trap, and it’s my job to get them out of their own brainwashing :)
This needs to be seen, first hand, for yourself, in your own experience, otherwise it’s nothing.
A fear perhaps...that if I see 'too much' (whatever that means) then I might not be able to 'unsee' it again, and if that were to lead to changes in my personality, then I wouldn't be able to unchange them.
It’s good that you bring this up. Actually, it’s quite interesting that most people fears the opposite. They come here in the hope of having their whole personality changed, and they get quite disappointed when it turns out that it’s not the case.
The personality is almost completely stays intact with this investigation. So if someone wants to work on their personalities, to solve some psychological or emotional issues, they have to work on that separately, after seeing through the self.
So, I can assure you, that your personality won’t change at all. The fictional Chris character will appear just as before, with the same likes, dislikes, desires, hobbies, everything.
Another subtle fear I am noticing is a fear that... I won't be able to do this. I'll fail. I won't be able to 'see' as clearly as you need me to see and we'll be going round and round forever in this thread. We'd be lost..
This is another common fear, but it’s unfounded. The only way to fail with this investigation is to give it up. If you persist, you cannot fail. And it doesn’t matter how long it takes, it takes as long as it takes (even if for a year). It doesn’t matter.
My sacred, loveable, protected little 'me' being under threat...of annihilation.
You are not alone with this fear either :)
There is nothing that could die or cease to exist.
There is no self that could die.
Just because the self is seen through, nothing will die, since there has never been a self there in the first place.
There is no self that could be annihilated or killed.
The only thing that changes is the RECOGNITION that there has never been a self there, it’s always just an imaginary character.
But nothing else will change.
The sense of self will still arise. The illusion of the self will still be there.
Chris-character will still live his life just as before.
He just will be known as a fictional character, that’s all.
So nothing will be lost, only a belief in the self will fall away.
But still I keep looking and looking. It's becoming a habit.
It’s great. This habit of looking will help a lot.
And there doesn't seem to be anything there to find. How boring!!
So....a fear of boredom as well perhaps?
Probably not a fear of boredom, but a fear of finding out that Chris is just imagined. Hence, thoughts might say “ it’s boring” as a trick to avoid looking further and deeper. Since why would I bother with something which is that boring?
V: What would happen if it turned out that there is no thinker of thoughts?
C: Maybe you shouldn't let me get away with this.
Am I avoiding looking at this question??
So, what do imagine, what are your fantasies, what would happen if it turned out that there is no thinker?
Vivien
