Seeking no more.

[Matthew]

So here we go again:
When looking for the assumed thing, that is experiencing, what we find is nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Can you see where this is going?
How do you feel about it?

[DWThomas]

Yes. When I look for that that is experiencing, there is nothing. Just emptiness. Nothing is seeing, smelling, feeling, hearing, thinking. They are just happening.

[Matthew]

Has anything changed since you're experiencing things that way?

[DWThomas]

Seems like fewer thoughts arise, quietness. Some combination of stillness and aliveness at the same time where in the past there was one or the other. Previous frustration periods about liberation seem diminished. Allowance, observation without mental comment more common.

[Matthew]

How about the desire for seeking?
Is there a desire to read spiritual books or watch spiritual videos right now?

[DWThomas]

The desire is definitely diminishing but conditioned thoughts still do arise about the validity of those teachings. I did start reading the Gateless Gatecrashers the other day but have only read one case sharing. I found a couple of things that resonated like "Does a thought think?" But, even as I read that, it seems that the desire or expectation is different than before. Over the past few years, I spent at least a couple of hours a day reading or watching YouTube by spiritual teachers like Tolle, Mooji, Abraham Hicks, etc.

[Matthew]

Sounds very good!

reading the Gateless Gatecrashers

Do you really need to hear about the awakening-stories of others anymore?
It does nothing but to fuel expectations and comparison.

The best advice here is to stop this kind of activity alltogether. Alltogether.
And only look how things unfold in this very present actual experience.

If you wish to, just report a little over the next two or three days.
What insights occur?
What changes?
What stays the same?

[DWThomas]

Thanks. No, I do not need to continue to search for answers. I will do as you suggest and report to you. I have noticed that when I take my walks, there is a stillness that happens where the trees, sky, movement, sound all sport of blend and there is a stillness behind it. Vision seems to fix, and it looks like seeing is a screen. Not sure what that is.

[Matthew]

Sounds very good!

[DWThomas]

Hi. It has been a few days and I have taken a good deal of time to focus on the present moment and just what that means. I spend time in awareness watching thoughts appear, trying to not engage, but to be aware of thinking instead of the thoughts in the thinking. There are times, in the day to day, where conditioned thoughts arise, mixed with emotions, that seem to draw the belief back into a self that is experiencing these. A child calls in distress, old patterns of fearful thoughts with need to help arise, drawing the sense of me and mine back into the moment. Seems hard to let that go.

[Matthew]

conditioned thoughts arise

Can thought be conditioned?
Can a piece of paper with a word on it be conditioned?

[DWThomas]

Can thought be conditioned?
No. It can only arise as a thought in the present moment. A thought about conditioned thought is just another thought.

Can a piece of paper with a word on it be conditioned?
No. It cannot be conditioned.

Where do we go from here? Seems like our communications are just a few pertinent words. I find times that it seems like the sense of self is no longer apparent, but then it returns.

[Matthew]

That's how it works for the most part.
Simple questions and simple answers.
Do you feel like you want another guide?

[DWThomas]

Do you feel like you want another guide?

I have given this a lot of thought. My wife has been doing LU for a bit longer than myself. She works with her guide daily, often for extended times. She gets exercises routinely that she says helps her put the ideas to work. Other than the had to the wall exercise in the beginning, I have not received any.

I understand that everyone is different and I should not have expectations. But, in my understanding, the liberation process is something that is supposed to be a strong commitment with active participation. Mine seems to be doing it solo. So, I guess a guide change might be in order. Thanks.

[Matthew]

A guide change is not an uncommon thing around LU. No problem at all!
I'll announce that and another guide will (hopefully) arrive soon.
Take care!