Seeing through me

[HakanJson]

I will try the observing thoughts exercise again tomorrow. That is the next exercise.

[Anastacia42]

Thank you, Hakan. Excellent.

How are you doing/feeling?

Much love,

[HakanJson]

I’m ok most of the time. The laughter has come back, but not as intense as before.
There are intense body sensations at times when laying in bed before sleep. If labeled they would be labeled anxiety or feeling of lonileness or hollowness or maybe fear of death or fear of being lonely.
The last couple of days it has struck me more than earlier that perhaps I really can’t do anything about anything. I can sometimes just relax and kind of watch what happens. Sometimes it feels like I’m trapped.
But I often enjoy just being with what I do/what’s being done, it doesn’t have to be anything special.

How are you? Perhaps I shouldn’t ask you.

[Anastacia42]

Good morning, Hakan,

I'm doing well. It's Spring here in Colorado & things are starting to bloom.

There are intense body sensations at times when laying in bed before sleep. If labeled they would be labeled anxiety or feeling of lonileness or hollowness or maybe fear of death or fear of being lonely.

When this happens, do the fear exercise posted just a little bit back. LOOK at it. Ask those questions. Maybe copy that exercise, print it and have it nearby to use when that comes up. Report what you find here.

perhaps I really can’t do anything about anything. I can sometimes just relax and kind of watch what happens.

Where is the "I" that has the thought arising about doing anything about anything? If we can't control s Flipping Palm, how do we expect to control anything else? And yet everything is working out. Remember the list you made of things that were working out fine even though you are not controlling them?

Looking forward to the Observing Thought exercise.

Much love,

[HakanJson]

Observing thoughts

Thoughts get louder once I decide to ignore them. Same as when I did this excercise earlier. Sometimes the thoughts demand that I listen to them. Sometimes it’s about how stupid this whole thing is.
Generally speaking I don’t have a constant inner voice - there may be a long periods when I’m just being present, without thinking so much.
But, during this meditation there is an almost constant inner voice, which can be heard clearly and which seems to speak mostly about that I should listen to it.
When doing this meditation earlier I felt like it was almost scary, but this was not the case this time.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Hakan,

Let's stick to posting the doing of the exercise. Could you post that please?

Remember colored socks?

Thoughts get louder once I decide to ignore them. Same as when I did this excercise earlier. Sometimes the thoughts demand that I listen to them. Sometimes it’s about how stupid this whole thing is.

What you have posted is a lot of thinking and analysis. That is not what we're here for.

LOOK at the content of thought. EXACTLY how does thought do this thing called "demanding that you listen to them?"

Can you find this in Actual Direct Experience?


Remember, Actual or Direct Experience is
Image / Color or Seeing
Sound or Hearing
Sensation or Feeling ( Body Sensations, not emotions.)
Smells or Smelling
Taste or tasting
Thought Arising, just the fact of it, but never the content of thought which is completely made up.

[HakanJson]

Observing thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts.

Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?

Don’t know

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

No

Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

No

Can you predict your next thought?

No

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

No

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

No

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

No

Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

No

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence?

Sometimes it seems to be ordered, sometimes no order at all

Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

My experience is that sometimes there is a continuous story being told and sometimes it’s random. I will try the exercise again and pay more attention to this bit, I haven’t paid enough attention to this. As I am writing this I realized that a ‘continuous story’ is just a label.

What is found?

I just realized that I haven’t questioned the notion that thoughts tell a ‘continuous story’. I will try to pay attention this when doing the meditation again today.

[Anastacia42]

Excellent.

Looking forward to it.

Much love,

[HakanJson]

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organized sequence?

Sometimes there is a seemingly organized sequence, a thought seemingly building on the content of a previous thought, but other times it's totally new content that jumps out.

Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

Perhaps it is more true to say that the thoughts themselves say/indicate that "they take content from a previous thought".

What is found?

I tried it with slow walking meditation today and the big openness showed up during it. There was less thinking this time.
The pauses between thinking were very noticeable.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Hakan,

Perhaps it is more true to say that the thoughts themselves say/indicate that "they take content from a previous thought".

Perhaps? Why the perhaps? Is it more true or is it not?



Here's something I want you to read. It comes from other Liberation Unleashed material. Do reply to the questions below, please, after you've had a chance to observe the kinds of things it mentions.

"Yes, it’s round and round and it appears that there is someone there at the centre.

You know, like a fan, it has four blades, but when it’s on and starts spinning, we don’t see blades, but a circle, a disc that is spinning. So is that idea of a separate self born out of spinning round and round.

It may be a frightening thought that there is no one here to pull all this together. But look at nature- flowers grow and flower harmoniously, just as they are programmed in their seed. There is order and intelligence in nature, there are patterns and natural ways. Like you put a seed in the ground and it’s a seed of a cherry tree. You can expect to get cherries, not apples. And that happens effortlessly. The seed germinates, then breaks and sends a shoot, then grows a leaf, another leaf and so on, till the tree finally blooms and makes fruit. It’s always been like that with humans too. It’s not the imagined I that holds it all together! And when you see, that it was never the imagined I that was holding things together, then what is there that can be lost?

Nothing real disappears. Only lies, false beliefs drop away. And that’s not a loss, really.

Look in your experience, what are you holding together right now? Are you holding sounds, colours, sensations? Are you holding thoughts? Or all is changing freely and effortlessly, alive?

What would be lost if there never was an I in charge?"

Much love,

[HakanJson]

The text about life just happening sounds true.
And it was beautifully written.

I don’t know what stands in the way here. I absolutely agree with the fan analogy, that’s exactly how I feel about myself. And I don’t know how to stop the spinning. Or see through it.

I will answer the questions in your post tomorrow.

[HakanJson]

Changed my mind, here are the answers:

Look in your experience, what are you holding together right now? Are you holding sounds, colours, sensations? Are you holding thoughts? Or all is changing freely and effortlessly, alive?

It’s all changing freely and without effort and alive.

What would be lost if there never was an I in charge?

Nothing would be lost.

Still the fan is spinning, that is very much how it feels.

[Anastacia42]

Hi Hakan,

Please answer all of the questions.

Thank you!

[Anastacia42]

Including the one at the top.

[HakanJson]

Perhaps it is more true to say that the thoughts themselves say/indicate that "they take content from a previous thought".
Perhaps? Why the perhaps? Is it more true or is it not?

I'm not sure here. It might be a more correct way of describing it, but its not in my experience.