No, there was never a self, me or I anywhere. I can’t find ‘I’ anywhere, it is impossible to find.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
The separate self starts when there is an imagined ‘future’, and that future doesn’t meet the expectations of the separate self. Sometimes the separate self feels like a victim when something happens it doesn’t like, as if that something is happening TO the separate self. But in reality, there is no ‘I’ who lives in here, who can make things happen or things that happen TO it.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Seeing the illusion of the separate self sometimes feels foreign, an unfamiliar territory. The separate self is so invested in its stories that once it is being seen for what it really is, it wants to protect itself and fight for its position. But seeing that it is an imagined entity, is the freedom to see the stories and allow them to play out. Ever since my conversation with Stacy, the separate self is being flushed out is seen fully for what it really is.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I couldn’t take the pain and dread anymore. I was absolutely and unshakably DONE. I didn’t know who I was. Somehow one day, I came across Eckhart Tolle who described living in the ‘now’ and from that instant, I felt like I woke up from a long nap. Ever since that day, I have been searching for the truth and what I found was I have been looking for something that was never lost.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Decision - there is no one that decides. Decisions are made already but nothing and no one makes them. It might feel like ‘Alexa’ made a decision to go for a walk, but the decision was already made then ‘Alexa’ takes credit AFTER the fact.5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Intention - no such thing. There is no one who intends to do anything. The decision is made, intention is initiated, but by no one.
Free Will - who would have free will? Who hears, who circulates blood, who breathes, who sees? There is no ‘I’ who can. There might be a sense of free will, but that’s an imagination After the fact.
Choice - there is no such thing as choice. That’s an imagination of ‘Alexa’ who assumes she’s choosing AFTER such choice is made. Who chooses to have one thought over another? Who chooses to be ‘born’?, Who chooses to see color/shape, Who chooses to hear, feel, taste. Choiceless. There is nothing being chosen, no one to choose and nothing that happens.
Just want to thank Stacy for allowing for greater clarity on this. My seeing the truth has expanded more than before, and I am grateful!6) Anything to add?
