‘No doer of the deed is found...’

[Seamist]

PS, do feel free to be in contact as much as you'd like to be over this period -PM me if you'd prefer it to be private xx

[River1]

Thanks Prabhakari.
I'm back from Adhisthana (and Oyster Hill was indeed a helpful place to ponder). It feels like some time to allow things to unfold would be helpful as you suggest.
I appreciate your invitation to be in contact, thank you. Just to be clear - would you still like me to post at least once each day?
Sara x

[Seamist]

Good question: hm... I think that just an occasional message would be fine for the moment. It feels important that we give your process some time and space at this point.
How does that sound?

[River1]

Great. Thanks for clarifying.
Sara x

[River1]

Hi Prabhakari,
While I was walking in the field earlier this afternoon, there was a strong shift in experience. I stopped walking, I felt a strong physical release of tension, and I made a noise. There was a great sense of clarity. Experience was very clean. I stood still for some time, and then continued walking. Movements seemed fluid and uncontrived. Aware of the richness of colour and sound. I felt priti rising in my spine.
The experience seems less intense now, and I notice some tension arising in my body, the pull of thoughts, but this seems to arise and pass without being sticky. I feel, generally, a sense of ease and clarity and simplicity. It is like a layer of something sticky has been removed from experience.
Sara x

[Seamist]

How wonderful!
More from me tomorrow.
Xxx

[Seamist]

Hi Sara,
Just keep noticing what is emerging, and let me know how that's going as and when xxx

[Seamist]

But do post at least weekly please xx

[River1]

Good morning Prabhakari,

Thought it might be helpful to check-in a bit.

The quality of the experience I described in my last post seemed to slowly change over the rest of that day, becoming less clear, vivid, alive. For the last couple of days things have been more ‘normal’. I do notice that there remains a softness in my body, a layer of physical tension that seems to have dropped. I notice that I am responding more to the sense of ‘entering the flow’, rather than paring back experience trying to the ‘me’. There are moments of feeling a sort of ‘fullness’ - where I am not someting so separate from everything that is happening, like I am stepping into the flow. However, these moments feel partial and fleeting.

Sara x

[Seamist]

Good to hear from you, Sara.
Would you like to continue as you are for a bit longer?
xx

[River1]

Yes, I would like to continue seeing how things unfold.
Thanks again for your guiding and support
Sara xx

[Seamist]

I'm happy with that. Keep in touch every few days or so for the time beingxx

[River1]

Hi Prabhakari,

I’m heading off tomorrow for a weekend retreat and thought I’d check-in.

I’m not really sure what to say. There is not the sense of clairty and vividness that I experienced last week, and perhaps that experience of what seemed a much ‘fuller’ seeing creates some doubt at times. In comparison to that (and I’m aware of the risks of ‘holding on’ to that experience and comparing to it, but bare with me), my experience now does not have the same intensity, like a dimmer switch has turned down the quality. I find myself wondering if this is ‘it’ and then I see that that is a thought, and that there is no ‘it’ to ‘get’, or ‘me’ to ‘get it.’ However, it feels like the beginning, and that more fullness or refinement is possible.

Experience generally feels looser, richer, freer. The gravity of thoughts still pulls me in - however this happens less frequently, and I also understand that there is no ‘me’ to be pulled in by ‘things’ called thoughts, and so there is less momentum, less build-up of stories.

I realised, in a deeper way than ever before, that thoughts don’t point to anything real - this came up strongly when I was thinking about my partner - my thoughts about him are not him, and what the thoughts are referring to are not him either. He is not the voice on the phone, or my feelings about him. There is no ‘he’. I’m yet to break the news to him :p

Sara x

[Seamist]

A quick response for now: the gate is only the beginning.
XX

[Seamist]

Just sending you a pm xx