Hi again,
Regarding the questions:
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
No separate self at all. There was never one.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
Separate self starts with the false identification with the body and the sense of being the doer. This never was. It is the result of conditioning and endless repetition. Right now it is just an empty space where everything is. No differences. No separate entities. No judgement.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
It feels like no burdens. The mind is silent, or if it's working, nothing about what it says is relevant anymore. No borders or boundaries. Life just happens on its own.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
A burning sensation of having to know, so to speak. An intense focus on what is. Leaving aside concepts.
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.
Decision, Intention, Free Will, Choice, Control: Just illusory concepts. There's no doer whatsoever that is able to decide, have intention, exercise free will, choice or have control. Life is a series of spontaneous happenings. We just watch and go with the flow.
As said, things are completely spontaneous. No effort whatsoever.
"I" am not responsible for nothing. How can "I" be since the "I" idea is just a concept? There's nobody to be responsible in the first place!
Life happenings just appear and disappear. People just come and go. We do not have any influence on what happens. Mood changes, weather changes, we just go by, observing and enjoying the show. Nothing has any meaning or sense. Life just is as it is.
6) Anything to add?
Thanks for your guidance and patience. There can be no path when the Truth is so close! It is just a matter of looking, as you always said.
Love from Colombia.
Matrod.
PS: It happened in the most mundane way. While meditating, the realization of the absurdity of a separate self just came by itself. It was a split second that made all the difference. No fireworks, no angels singing, just the plain and old truth! No experience, just an "aha" moment. Stopped waiting for an extraordinary event on the spot. Life just continued. The view changed, that was all.
