Need guidance

[santosh]

I think I got the question wrong.

[Olof]

No, where is the I this current moment? If you are fully present (nothing clouded by thoughts and feelings) where is the I?

[santosh]

I is nowhere, when I am fully present without thoughts. But that happens just for a fraction of a second. The moment I acknowledge there is no I, it is there.

[Olof]

So that means that there is a more basic nature of you where the I doesn't exist.

If it appears, does it really matter? The mind might make it arise, but is it just not a fiction when it does?

[santosh]

That sounds correct. But since the gap is so less, I guess it should happen for a little more time for me to really experience atleast a little of what you say.

[santosh]

Its 11.30 here, got to sleep. I will try what you told.

[Olof]

It is only experience, not experience by anyone.

Just continue to look at this man. What you refer to as "I", is a fictional mind made self image. I AM is truth, in this world, there is only "isness". No objects, events, or doers.

[santosh]

What is this "I AM" is truth, if I is an illusion.

[Olof]

It points to that the world is, and you are that isness.

What do you expect will happen once you get this?

[santosh]

What do you expect will happen once you get this?

I think the feeling of individual self will not be there. Off course I don't experience this now.

Unfortunately my mind stuff seems to be too strong to allow me to do this. Anyway I am trying.

[Olof]

Can you elaborate more on how you think it will be once you're "liberated"?

[santosh]

Can you elaborate more on how you think it will be once you're "liberated"?

Here I am just imagining and by what you people have written about, no experience of what I am writing.
1. Definitely there will be lightness. Because at present this I is carrying a lot of tension, pressures, hurt feelings and just bogged down by life.
2. There will be silence, because this incessant noise of thoughts will not be taken seriously.
3. Be more present and feel life and nature as a gift. At times you do have this feeling but very less. Since I love nature very much, when I see beautiful nature generally I feel good and more present. So, life would surely look more pretty.

Here, again I am just using my imagination.

[Olof]

Okay, but don't look FOR something, don't TRY to feel a certain way. That will totaly block this for you. What you are doing now, is absolutely not about adding anything to yourself, it's about seeing through psychological bs - REMOVE - things that are clouding your perception.

It's not a state, its a state of no state. The state were all states rise. Be present, can you feel it? It can only be felt now, not when your mind is focused on time.

Just sit, be presence, feel what is. Can you feel how the thoughts, feelings, states, arise out of nowhere? They are constantly changing, but the "state of no state" is always underlying it all.

[santosh]

Just sit, be presence, feel what is. Can you feel how the thoughts, feelings, states, arise out of nowhere? They are constantly changing, but the "state of no state" is always underlying it all.

What do you mean by 'Just sit, be presence, feel what is'.
How do you do that?
Does it mean that you have to close your eyes or be attentive with eyes open and say to myself 'Ok let me wait for the next thought coming'.

[Olof]

No man, it means, do nothing. Just sit in a chair or lie in bed, stare right in front of you with relaxed eyes. Watch, dont focus your eyes, but dont move them around. Really, do nothing, dont move your body, dont think about a certain topic, dont try to watch thoughts or control them. Try to do nothing, when you do nothing, the self fades away.

Lets thoughts rise as they do just let them pass. They will always keep coming about the most obserd things. Dont take them seriously. You need to do this, this is what is going to help you realize, dont reading about something or trying to be attentive. You cant DO meditation. Meditation is about doing nothing, relaxing into passivity and letting things happen as they do. Because when you see that this is the case, there is going to be a realization of that the self is not in control of anything.

It can be a bit hard in the beginning, because the self always tries to DO something. As long as it DOES something, its in control, its important, it has a reason for its existence. At least this is what it appears like.

Dont shut your eyes, trying to drift into a transcelike state, thats another escape. Just try to be present in the moment and acknowledge what is. What is happening inside you?

Sense perceptions, thoughts and feelings rise and disintegrate continously. What is underlying that, what is permanent?