I feel like I’m being lived by the Absolute. There is no me, just thoughts. If there is no me living this life that only leaves the Absolute.. So yes there is a commentary of thought, the froth on top, or the waves on the ocean, but what is occurring underneath?
I was 18 and ready to be drafted for the war in Vietnam. I was working in construction and hated it. I was in supermarket one day and saw the butchers working through the glass. I thought I might like the work so I buzzed them for customer service. A fellow came out and I told him I wanted to become a butcher apprentice. He told that he was the manager and had just gotten permission the previous week to hire an apprentice. He asked me to start the next monday. Anyway, it turned out that as an apprentice, I would have a draft deferment. Pretty serendipitous.
Then as I said above, it’s the absolute guiding this life. Is it really that “God has a plan” thing? I always thought that was just ignorance to say that but now I’m not so sure. I am not the one in charge. There is no me to be in charge of this whole thing. What’s the purpose though? If God is guiding everyone why do so many end so badly?. If we aren't the agencies of control (little man in head with levers) what is happening?
. You probably hate me by now but please give it a go!!
No, I don’t hate you. Really, this is what I hoped would happen. You have guided me to face a great block of ignorance. I'm sure there are more ahead. If this can be figured out it would be huge! If not, then please know that I am very grateful for the understanding of no self. That is a really big deal and is like growing centuries worth of wisdom. You brought me there. Thank you for that.
Kevan
