Hello Lee,
The thoughts of frustration and wanting to stop the investigation strongly came up after initially reading your response.
What is it exactly that is ‘frustrated’?
The label ‘frustrated’ is the AE of thought and not AE of frustration.
The sensation LABELLED as ‘frustration’ is the AE of sensation and not AE of frustration.
The image LABELLED as ‘I/me/body’ is AE of colour and not AE someone frustrated.
The thoughts ABOUT ‘frustration’ and what ‘frustration’ is are the content of ‘frustration’ and are AE of thought and not AE of frustration.
So labelsensationcolourthoughts are known, but is frustration known?
When looking at it, it was from expectations to push through this quickly. I sat with it for a while and understood that a seeming 'me' was trying to protect itself from investigation. Pushing through quickly would leave some stones unturned. Latching onto the thoughts as 'me' or 'mine' is the foundation for the seeming separate self. It was interesting to see this as protection. None of the thoughts are AE, just stories.
Terrific Lee! It is great that you saw this expectation and saw what it was! There are no goal posts or finish line! There is no one ‘waking up’. Where in all of this is there a person waking up? Everything simply IS. However, thought will still appear saying many different things and telling a myriad of stories! Thought doesn't stop telling you that it's your car, your job, your body, your craving, your preference, your pain, your happiness, your this and your that. The label “I”, “me”, “mine” won’t stop appearing. Why would thought stop saying something just because it's seen what thoughts are? It's never been any other way. So wanting thoughts to be different or to change their tune is only another expectation.
By just sitting and looking at this, it seems like something released.
Lovely! How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Without thought pointing to these so called ‘memory thoughts’ and saying they are referring to a past, then how is it known that they are from a ‘past’?
Without the thought about past, there is no past in AE.
When do those so called ‘memories’ actually appear?
They do not actually appear.
Maybe I worded this question ambiguously but what thought labels as ‘memories’ are only ever appearing in the current moment.
Let’s say a ‘memory’ appears of your last birthday and images appear of some of things that you did and further thoughts appear about how you felt on that day and even sensations may appear.
Did these ‘memories’ actually happen in the past, or are they appearing in this current moment? Where is the proof that there was a ‘last birthday’ and that it happened ‘last year’? Are not the images and thoughts ABOUT a past simply appearing now, in this current moment?
If thought appears saying you ate an ice-cream yesterday….where is ‘yesterday’ in actual experience. When is that thought and images of eating an ice-cream actually appearing?
Yesterday is not in AE. The thought and image of eating Ice-cream is not actually appearing.
I want you to think of a time when you ate ice-cream. Or when you ate your last meal and think of what you ate.
When are the thoughts and images about an ice-cream actually appearing? Are they not appearing in this current moment?
What does ‘here and now’ actually point to? Does it point to a location and time or does it point to experience (THIS) that is always here now and is the ‘herenow’?
Here and now only points to experiencing now or 'herenow' (I like that term).
What exactly is ‘experiencing’ experience? For there to be an experiencer of experience makes for two, which points to separation.
With the following exercise, let’s see if there is an actual experiencer of sound. In other words, let’s see if there is an experience of experience.
So with this exercise we are only focussing on the AE of sound.
Sit quietly, close the eyes, take in a couple of deep breaths to settle the dust and then listen to the sounds in the room where you are, or sounds from outside. Then when ready just choose one sound and pay attention to that one sound only.
1) In 'hearing' can anything be found, other than the AE of sound? (‘what can be heard’)?
2) Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only AE sound?
3) Can an 'I', ‘ear’, ‘body’, ‘person’ be found? Or are these statements thoughts about an 'I', ‘ear’, ‘body’, ‘person’?
What do you find?
Look very carefully. Where does ‘hearing’ end and sound begin? Can a dividing line between ‘hearer’ and sound be found? Or is there just hearer/sound?
Can a 'hearer' ever be found in 'what is being heard' – AE sound?
If that is all, and no INHERENT HEARER is found . . . would anything that is suggested as the hearer be anything other than speculation / ideas / beliefs / thoughts etc?
Identifying with thoughts and labels are so habitual, they have seemed to be so real, and 'me' and 'mine.
What is it exactly that is “identifying with thoughts and labels”?
With love, Kay
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.
