Michael K's pennyworth!

[MichaelK]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
I believe it to be the Anatta (Anatman) Doctrine - although not purely specific to Buddhism. It is the notion that there is no fixed essence or essential unchanging self.

What are you looking for at LU?
I have hit a kind of wall in my own practice of Buddhism. I have years of study and attempted practice so that I theoretically "know" this stuff - but actually.... I really wonder if I do! I have studied (and taught Buddhism) and did my degree in philosophy (and studied Hume, and Kant, Nietzsche and Nagarjuna - philosophers that questioned the substantive ) and was familiar with the many philosophies of "no self" - but I think this theoretical. If I look at how I live and respond to events, people and circumstance - I think I have a deep psychological clinging to the notions of a substantive and fixed self. So, as they say, I am looking for a doorway through the wall or a reimaging of that wall to reveal that it is not actually there!

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I don't have any expectations, as such. I hope to be provoked and to have a dialogue that promotes some insight and understanding. (As they say, brevity is harder than long-windedness... so now I am simply typing so I can make the 131 character minimum, as I believe my first sentence pretty much sums up what I feel; I really do not have any expectations, how could I have? In a sense, I don't want to have, as I believe it is important to have beginners mind!

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Thirty off years of meditation - although with long periods of the "off" phrases. I find meditation quite difficult - is it possible to be bored by one's breath? I found more of an affinity with visualisation meditation, Sadhana and meditations that are "busy" - but I find basic mindfulness a challenge; which is probably why I should do more of it!

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[Ben2]

Hi Michael

My name's Ben and I'm happy to guide you.

Let's get straight into it.

Looking at reality as it is, right now, in the present moment, what does the "I" thought point to?

Good luck,

Ben

[MichaelK]

Dear Ben,
Why do I need luck to describe something? The “I” thought points to nothing, in a sense the question is meaningless. It presupposes that the “I” is a thought, rather than the subjectivity which is having the thought. The “I” points to nothing. You could say that it intends, in that the experience of consciousness is that consciousness is always of an object, it is subject and object in form, there are two poles within consciousness, and that the object pole to which consciousness intends is identified as other, and the subject pole is recognised as me.

[Ben2]

Hi Michael

You’ve given a very intellectual answer. Try to forget anything you’ve learnt about the topic because it’s going to get in the way. Information about the self may help you in terms of self-development or if you want to sound clever, but it won’t help you here.

All you need to do is LOOK and SEE the truth for yourself.

Here's an exercise that will help with this, try doing it as many times as you can throughout the day. Label each experience with the following labels: colour, sound, smell, taste, sensation, or thought.

So for example, as you become aware of:
Seeing a tree = colour.
Smelling coffee = smell.
Feeling the wind on your face = sensation.
Tasting the toothpaste on your toothbrush = taste.
Hearing a car drive by = sound.
Thinking about work = thought. (Thoughts can either be ‘mental words’ or ‘mental images’)

Just break down all experiences into these categories (which are all actual experience) and let me know how you go.

Good luck

Ben

[MichaelK]

What makes you claim that this is a very intellectual answer? I am not giving you an answer that I have studied – I am describing conscious experience. It seems to me that you are trying to be confrontational? It feels like a sales pitch – are you doing this from a script? You asked a question which is meaningless – I answered you honestly. “What does the “I” thought point to?” - What does that mean? Have you thought it through? Or rather what are you expressing behind your words? You are implying that the notion of an “I” is a thought. I will buy that. But what does it mean to say it “points” to anything? Try to be a little less combative, and also a little less “on script”
To look is to look, and to look and to note is an established practice – I can describe sensations to you – to what purpose?

[Ben2]

Hi Michael

This is the way I have to offer, it does work for a lot of people, but not everyone. If you’re not willing to give it a go, then maybe it’s not for you?

Cheers

[MichaelK]

I am willing to give it a go, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. But you don’t seem to be willing to answer questions just fire them out. So rather than a dialogue, it is just one way. Perhaps you need to look at the way you teach. But thanks for your comments. To date rather than a genuine inquiry – untheorized - into the nature of self, LU seems more to be a group of people, with a fixed view, that believe they have “THE truth” and follow a script that they have to preach it.

[Ben2]

Hi Michael

You are right, this isn’t a standard dialogue as such. What I’ve found works better for most people is rather than answer their questions, which is giving them more information - stories - to contend with, I set exercises and ask questions to encourage them to LOOK and see for themselves. Then eventually they’ll be able to answer their own questions.

So if you want to continue, I suggest completing that original exercise I set and letting me know how you go. If not, all the best to you.

Cheers

Ben