Ready to wake up

[forgetmenot]

Hey Bluecat.

"It feels like something is in the way" is simply a thought. Can you actually find anything in the way? Can colour, thought, sound, sensation etc get in the way?

Cannot find anything in the way. Just a thought. It is not possible for anything to be in the way because everything just is and there is nothing to be in the way of. There was just this expectation (thought) of how things should look like.

Nice find! Expectations can be slippery and it is great when they are seen!

Really? So there is something that exists outside of experience itself.
What is the AE of memory?

Thought

Yes. ‘Memory’ is just a label for a bunch of thoughts that SEEM to point to something that has happened. Actually if you watch thought carefully throughout your day, thoughts only ever point to the ‘past’. Even ‘future’ thoughts are based on so called ‘past’ experiences.

What is the AE of glass?

Colour

The AE of 'glass' is thought. Thought points to colour and labels it ‘glass’. Colour is AE of colour and not AE of glass.

How is it known that the colour labelled 'door' is a door?

Thought about door.

Yep, exactly!

Seems = thought….I want you to look and not think. So check again. Do the head turning exercise again and see if you can find a head turning, or is there simply sensation with a thought appearing that it is a head? Can you actually see a 'head' turning even?. Let me know what you find.

Cannot find a head, just sensations and thought. No head turning. "Turning" is a thought, there is only colour known.

Can you actually see your head? If not then how can “colour be known”? All that is known is thoughts about a ‘head’ and thoughts about a ‘head turning’.

When you point anywhere in the world you point at appearances. You are distant from what you are looking at and you see things, you see objects. Observe this – direct your attention at things by pointing at them.

For example,
I can see the colours of this room,
of my foot,
of my knee,
of my chest.

In all these instances attention is directed outwards, at objects.

Now point where others see your face.

What do you see? You are now looking inwards – turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the subject, to the place you are looking out of. Do you see your face? Do you see your head? Do you see anything at all there - any colour or shape, any movement?

So then how can 'attention' be drawn to something? Does that not imply an experience and experience?

I was still thinking that I choose where the attention goes but apparently there is no-one to do that either :) So there is just knowing.

Nice! Is there really such a thing as attention and focus? Or is experience always exactly as it is. What only could tell a story about "now this is in focus and that is out of focus"? Intention is another thought form, a thought to do something. Intentions arrive like thoughts arrive.

Love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

Seems = thought….I want you to look and not think. So check again. Do the head turning exercise again and see if you can find a head turning, or is there simply sensation with a thought appearing that it is a head? Can you actually see a 'head' turning even?. Let me know what you find.

Cannot find a head, just sensations and thought. No head turning. "Turning" is a thought, there is only colour known.

Can you actually see your head? If not then how can "colour be known"? All that is known is thoughts about a 'head' and thoughts about a 'head turning'.

I was doing the exercise with the eyes open thats why there was color seen. It was harder for me to see that there is no head that way so I spent more time looking at it.

What do you see? You are now looking inwards - turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the subject, to the place you are looking out of. Do you see your face? Do you see your head? Do you see anything at all there - any colour or shape, any movement?

There is no face or head seen. I see mostly nothing there, only some tingeling sensations happening.

Is there really such a thing as attention and focus?

This still confuses me, because you asked me to

turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the subject, to the place you are looking out of

So how can there be seeming attention directing happening, if there is no attention?

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hi Kay,

Can you actually see your head? If not then how can "colour be known"? All that is known is thoughts about a 'head' and thoughts about a 'head turning'.

I was doing the exercise with the eyes open thats why there was color seen. It was harder for me to see that there is no head that way so I spent more time looking at it.

LOL right…okay. I was wondering how you saw the colour labelled ‘head’!! haha

What do you see? You are now looking inwards - turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the subject, to the place you are looking out of. Do you see your face? Do you see your head? Do you see anything at all there - any colour or shape, any movement?

There is no face or head seen. I see mostly nothing there, only some tingeling sensations happening.

Yes, and those tingling sensation are AE of sensation. It is only thought that labels the ‘tingling’ sensations as face/head.

Is there really such a thing as attention and focus?

This still confuses me, because you asked me to

Where is this “me” that can focus or pay attention? You did the exercise on looking left, right and straight ahead to see if you had any choice in what you are aware of. How is intention and focus any different? Is there a 'you' that can control what appears/happens?

When doing the head exercise, did you find a head that was turning to change your focus/attention?

How is it known that the focus/attention was actioned by thoughts? How many times has it been asked to pay attention to something and that hasn’t happened! Are you in control of what is paid attention to or not?

And so it seems that focus/attention went to what was being asked. Have a look and see if an “I” was needed, or was focussing attention just happening? How can black squiggly line (ie what thought calls ‘typed words’) instruct you to pay attention?

turning the direction of your attention round 180˚ from the objects out there to you the subject, to the place you are looking out of

So how can there be seeming attention directing happening, if there is no attention?

How does there seem to be focus and attention when driving a car? Is there a commentary that keeps saying 'pay attention and focus on the road' the entire time the car is being driven?
Is a thought needed to look in the rear view mirror to pay attention to what is happening behind you?

Love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

Where is this "me" that can focus or pay attention? You did the exercise on looking left, right and straight ahead to see if you had any choice in what you are aware of. How is intention and focus any different? Is there a 'you' that can control what appears/happens?

No "me" to focus and no "me" to control what appears or happens. Have been looking at this throughout the day in different happenings. Didn't find any doer. Focusing didn't "obey" thoughts. There were thoughts about "I" have to do/did this or that, but they had nothing to do with things getting/not getting done.

When doing the head exercise, did you find a head that was turning to change your focus/attention?

No I didn't find a head.

How is it known that the focus/attention was actioned by thoughts? How many times has it been asked to pay attention to something and that hasn't happened! Are you in control of what is paid attention to or not?

Just another thought tells so. I am not in control.

And so it seems that focus/attention went to what was being asked. Have a look and see if an "I" was needed, or was focussing attention just happening? How can black squiggly line (ie what thought calls 'typed words') instruct you to pay attention?

Yes, the typed words seemed to be the cause of attention to go where was pointed. But I can read/think those instructions, and nothing happens. There is just focusing happening no need for "I"

How does there seem to be focus and attention when driving a car? Is there a commentary that keeps saying 'pay attention and focus on the road' the entire time the car is being driven?
Is a thought needed to look in the rear view mirror to pay attention to what is happening behind you?

The focus just is. No commentary or thought is needed. Thought just claims that there is someone doing focusing.

I realized that I have been blaming myself for not focusing on the task at hand. When actually there is no-one to do the focusing, no "myself" to blame and no I to do the blaming. What a relief! Your pointings have been very helpful :)

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hey Blue,

Wonderful LOOKING, Bluecat!

How does there seem to be focus and attention when driving a car? Is there a commentary that keeps saying 'pay attention and focus on the road' the entire time the car is being driven?
Is a thought needed to look in the rear view mirror to pay attention to what is happening behind you?

The focus just is. No commentary or thought is needed. Thought just claims that there is someone doing focusing.

It is always a thought that is claiming something. Sometimes we just ‘forget’ that it is simply a thought and we go down the rabbit hole with the thought. But with looking, it will be eventually seen that it is only thoughts again that are singing out of tune with what actually IS :)

I realized that I have been blaming myself for not focusing on the task at hand. When actually there is no-one to do the focusing, no "myself" to blame and no I to do the blaming. What a relief! Your pointings have been very helpful :)

What a lovely realisation! Yes, to be able to blame a ‘self’ there has to be one! As soon as guilt appears you know that blame is appearing and is being pointed at yourself and/or another for some perceived ‘sin’, and once again identification with a separate self is happening. The idea that you are a separate independent self who is the doer, thinker, feeler and sayer is running, and that the other is a separate independent self is the doer, thinker, feeler and sayer. Since there is no separate Bluecat, why would others have separate independent selves?

Okay, so let’s have a look at the idea of the body.

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?
In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc.) before replying.

Love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

Can it be known how tall the body is?

When eyes closed there is no way to know. When walking eyes open there was this measuring the place where the looking happens to the things seen to define the height of the "body". But still no actual experience how tall the body is.

Does the body have a weight or volume?

Just sensations labeled weight when sitting on a chair or walking. Actually the sensation wasn't even stabile. Volume was not experienced.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

It is like the body has no boundaries. Thought tells that body is this thing inside the skin. And I am inside of it. But when looking that is not the experience.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

No boundary to be found. Just sensation and thought.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

When looking at this fear arose. There was this thought that in the "inside" is something that has to be protected. But this something could not be found. No inside or outside in actual experience just very strong identification in thinking that the "body" is and that it is "mine".

What does the word/label 'body' ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Sensations, thoughts and color.

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hello Bluecat,

Thank you for sending me a message asking when I am going to respond, I appreciate that. I was wondering why you hadn't responded. I had responded when I got your post, but for some reason, now and again, the system loses posts after they have been submitted. I always respond the same day I get your post and if I am unable to, I would let you know. If I had not heard from you by tomorrow I would have come looking to see why. Thankfully I keep a copy of my responses.

Can it be known how tall the body is?

When eyes closed there is no way to know. When walking eyes open there was this measuring the place where the looking happens to the things seen to define the height of the "body". But still no actual experience how tall the body is.

It is only a thought that says the door frame is ‘7 foot high’ and “I” can fit under that. Immediately there is a reference to an “I” that is in the body! Just notice these thoughts/images as they appear…it is good to notice what thoughts appear and to see them for what they are…simply the AE of thought.

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

It is like the body has no boundaries. Thought tells that body is this thing inside the skin. And I am inside of it. But when looking that is not the experience.

Nice looking. What is the AE of skin?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

No boundary to be found. Just sensation and thought.

Sit quietly, take in a couple of breaths and look at the ‘body’ for a few moments. All there is, is colour, right? We are only looking at colour for this exercise.

Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled ‘body’ and the colour labelled ‘chair’?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled ‘chair’ and the colour labelled ‘floor/rug’?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled ‘floor/rug’ and the colour labelled ‘wall’?
Let me know what you find.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

When looking at this fear arose. There was this thought that in the "inside" is something that has to be protected. But this something could not be found. No inside or outside in actual experience just very strong identification in thinking that the "body" is and that it is "mine".

How is it known that there is a “very strong identification in thinking that the "body" is and that it is "mine"?

If you don’t think about it, do you know that this sensation is something called ‘fear’?
Is there any inherent fear in the sensation itself?
Go to the sensation at the soles of the feet. Would you label that sensation ‘fear’? Or is it just a neutral, undefined tingling sensation?
Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet – which is just neutral sensation – and the sensation in your chest (labelled ‘fear’)…what is the difference between them?
A little bit more' intense' (thought says), but apart from that – any difference?

What does the word/label 'body' ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Sensations, thoughts and color.

The word/label ‘body’ actually refers to AE of thought.
The actual experience of the body is thought.

Is sensation the AE of a body or is it the AE of sensation?
Is colour the AE of a body or is it the AE of colour?

So thought points to colour and sensation and labels it ‘body’, however colour is colour and sensation is sensation…so the AE of ‘body is thought.
Can you see this?

Love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

I thought that you forgot me ;) But now I know to ask earlier if your response doesn't show up the same day.

What is the AE of skin?

Thought and when eyes are open also color.

Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'body' and the colour labelled 'chair'?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'chair' and the colour labelled 'floor/rug'?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'floor/rug' and the colour labelled 'wall'?
Let me know what you find.

There are lines where the colour changes, thought "divides"/labels. But I cannot find actual dividing lines between those things.

How is it known that there is a "very strong identification in thinking that the "body" is and that it is "mine"?

Just a thought

If you don't think about it, do you know that this sensation is something called 'fear'?
Is there any inherent fear in the sensation itself?

There is just a sensation, nothing called fear found.

Go to the sensation at the soles of the feet. Would you label that sensation 'fear'? Or is it just a neutral, undefined tingling sensation?

Just neutral sensation.

Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet - which is just neutral sensation - and the sensation in your chest (labelled 'fear')…what is the difference between them?
A little bit more' intense' (thought says), but apart from that - any difference?

No difference. Both are just sensations.

Is sensation the AE of a body or is it the AE of sensation?
Is colour the AE of a body or is it the AE of colour?

So thought points to colour and sensation and labels it 'body', however colour is colour and sensation is sensation…so the AE of 'body is thought.
Can you see this?

Yes now I saw it, still it needs practice to get clearer.

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hey Bluecat,

I thought that you forgot me ;) But now I know to ask earlier if your response doesn't show up the same day.

Nope, I didn't forget you! Who can forget a sininen kissa? ;) I like to keep the momentum going so I respond in the same day I get your post :)

What is the AE of skin?

Thought and when eyes are open also color.

If, when when eyes are open, the AE of skin is still thought. Thought points to colour and labels it 'skin'. However, what is appearing is AE of colour and not AE of skin, so the AE of 'skin' is thought.
Is this clear?

Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'body' and the colour labelled 'chair'?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'chair' and the colour labelled 'floor/rug'?
Where is the dividing line between the colour labelled 'floor/rug' and the colour labelled 'wall'?
Let me know what you find.

There are lines where the colour changes, thought "divides"/labels. But I cannot find actual dividing lines between those things.

How is it known that there are lines where colour changes?



When looking at this picture, thought automatically divides colour into colourS and then names colour as specific objects.

IGNORE ALL object labels and colour labels…are there many colourS or just colour?
Is there a gap between the ‘trees’?
Where does colour begin and end?

How is it known that there is a "very strong identification in thinking that the "body" is and that it is "mine"?
Just a thought

Yes, what exactly is the “strong identification”? Is it an actual sensation?

Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet - which is just neutral sensation - and the sensation in your chest (labelled 'fear')…what is the difference between them?
A little bit more' intense' (thought says), but apart from that - any difference?

No difference. Both are just sensations.

Yes, exactly. It is simply a sensation.
How is it known that the ‘tingling’ is located at the soles of the feet and the ‘intense tingling’ is located in a chest?

Is sensation the AE of a body or is it the AE of sensation?
Is colour the AE of a body or is it the AE of colour?
So thought points to colour and sensation and labels it 'body', however colour is colour and sensation is sensation…so the AE of 'body is thought.
Can you see this?

Yes now I saw it, still it needs practice to get clearer.

So look out your window now and look at a tree, or look at an object in the room you are in.

Thought points to that object and labels it a ‘tree’, for example. However colour is AE of colour, and not the AE of a tree, so the AE of ‘tree’ is thought.

With love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

If, when when eyes are open, the AE of skin is still thought. Thought points to colour and labels it 'skin'. However, what is appearing is AE of colour and not AE of skin, so the AE of 'skin' is thought.
Is this clear?

Quite clear.

How is it known that there are lines where colour changes?

When looking there is this idea that there are lines. But other than that, lines are not known.

IGNORE ALL object labels and colour labels…are there many colourS or just colour?

Just colour

Is there a gap between the 'trees'?

No gap

Where does colour begin and end?

There is just colour, no beginning or ending.
This was quite easy to see with a picture and then I realized that this is true with everything that is seen. Just colour. Have to let this sink in :)

Yes, what exactly is the "strong identification"? Is it an actual sensation?

There is a sensation of tightness in the chest. And thought labels this as "strong identification".

How is it known that the 'tingling' is located at the soles of the feet and the 'intense tingling' is located in a chest?

Yet another thought, there is just tingling happening/known.

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hey Blue cat,

How is it known that there are lines where colour changes?

When looking there is this idea that there are lines. But other than that, lines are not known.

Exactly it is only an idea…a thought that says there is a line where one colour ends and another begins. Colour is simply colour with no divisions.

Is there a gap between the 'trees'?
No gap

Where does colour begin and end?
There is just colour, no beginning or ending.

This was quite easy to see with a picture and then I realized that this is true with everything that is seen. Just colour. Have to let this sink in :)

Lovely….yes, and to let it sink in is to keep looking to see that all there is, is colour, no gaps.

Have a look at the following picture. Thought says that the door is open and that there is space between the edge of the door that is seen and the wall behind the door. But is there?



Now, go open your front door like it is in this picture and have a look. Is the open door actually taking up ‘space’ and is there ‘space’ between door and the wall behind the door?

Yes, what exactly is the "strong identification"? Is it an actual sensation?

There is a sensation of tightness in the chest. And thought labels this as "strong identification".

And does the sensation labelled “tightness in the chest” suggest in anyway that it is tightness or that it has a “strong identification” with anything? Is the sensation actually happening in a chest in a body?


Here is an even deeper investigation of the body. Please follow each step, don't leave out any. Take your time. Don't move to the next step until the previous one is clearly seen. Repeat the exercise several times.

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.

(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensations labelled ‘body’.

(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is?


(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?

(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and the image ‘of movement’?
Or only thoughts suggest it?

(5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror.

Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’?
Does the image itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘body’ at all?
Or are there only colours and shapes?

(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen.

Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?

(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).

Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?

(8) Start to walk slowly.

Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all?
Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?
Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?
Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?

(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘going through the room’; OR is there only an image that is labelled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

With love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

Now, go open your front door like it is in this picture and have a look. Is the open door actually taking up 'space' and is there 'space' between door and the wall behind the door?

There is an idea of space, but no actual experience of space. Just colour is known.

And does the sensation labelled "tightness in the chest" suggest in anyway that it is tightness or that it has a "strong identification" with anything?

The sensation does not suggest anything. It is just a sensation.

Is the sensation actually happening in a chest in a body?

No, a chest and a body are just ideas

Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror?
Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is?

No connection other than thought.

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled 'hand') and image of movement in the mirror?

No, it is like watching a film :)

Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled 'hand') and the image 'of movement'?
Or only thoughts suggest it?

No connection, weirdly this too was like watching a film.

Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is 'you' or 'your body'?

No.

Does the image itself suggest in any way that it is a 'body' at all?

No.

Or are there only colours and shapes?

Yes.

Just by the image in the mirror, is there any 'knowledge' that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?

Just thoughts and mental image about legs.

Is there a 'body' anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?

Only sensations.

Is there a 'body walking', or are there only sensations?

Only sensations.

Is there actual experience of 'walking' at all?
Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT 'walking'?

Just thoughts. Even though I was sure that there has to be an experience of walking, I didn't find anything but thoughts about it…

Can such a thing as 'body' be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a 'body'?
Can such a thing as 'walking' be found?

Just thoughts, no "body" or "walking" found.

Are the sensations localized in space, like 'going through the room'; OR is there only an image that is labelled 'room' and appearing sensations without any location?

I got a small glimpse of the latter. It was dizzying experience.
This whole exercise was great and freeing. I am definitely going to do this again :)

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hey Bluecat!

Always such a pleasure to read your posts!

Now, go open your front door like it is in this picture and have a look. Is the open door actually taking up 'space' and is there 'space' between door and the wall behind the door?

There is an idea of space, but no actual experience of space. Just colour is known.

Yes! Is experience 2D or 3D?

Just by the image in the mirror, is there any 'knowledge' that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?

Just thoughts and mental image about legs.

Can you see what thought labels colour as ‘your body’ in its entirety, or only parts of it? When you think of your body, it is only an idea + ‘mental’ image appear that suggest that you have a body with a head, face, torso, arms, legs, feet and hands.

Is there a 'body' anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?

Only sensations.

Yes and sensations are AE of sensation and not AE of a body.

Is there a 'body walking', or are there only sensations?
Only sensations.

Is there actual experience of 'walking' at all?
Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT 'walking'?
Just thoughts. Even though I was sure that there has to be an experience of walking, I didn't find anything but thoughts about it…

Trippy stuff, ay!

Are the sensations localized in space, like 'going through the room'; OR is there only an image that is labelled 'room' and appearing sensations without any location?

I got a small glimpse of the latter. It was dizzying experience.

Keep checking this out whenever you go for a walk. Check it out when walking through nature. Can you find a ‘me’ that is actually walking through nature, or in that moment, thought has dissected experience into treesbirdsskysunwarmthmegrasswalking? If you ignore all those labels, all there is, is experience appearing exactly as it is. Let me know how you find it.

This whole exercise was great and freeing. I am definitely going to do this again :)

Lovely! So, let’s move onto time and I will introduce time to you via another body exercise :)


Look into the mirror throughout the day. Body image appears... notice that all that's really there are some colours, and a thought-story saying 'these colours are my body'

When you return to the mirror each time, consider whether these 'body colours' have ever appeared before.

Consider whether this body image + story has ever appeared before - or is this the only time you have ever been aware of these *exact* colours and this exact story about the body?

Can you find any previous appearances of the body? Where are they? If not how can it be known that the body has appeared before?

Isn't it just an appearance ‘now’ and isn't there only a thought-story claiming you've seen this body before?

Do that for today and report back what you find.

With love, Kay

[bluecat18]

Hi Kay,

For few days I have felt like I am in this weird place. Many things I have thought I have known to be some way, turn out to be something I have ever imagined. Disorienting but freeing :) This is why I wanted to start this guidance.

Is experience 2D or 3D?

It was 2D.

Keep checking this out whenever you go for a walk. Check it out when walking through nature. Can you find a 'me' that is actually walking through nature, or in that moment, thought has dissected experience into treesbirdsskysunwarmthmegrasswalking? If you ignore all those labels, all there is, is experience appearing exactly as it is. Let me know how you find it.

It feels like "I" am not moving. There is this "screen" with colours seen. Sensations are felt.
Experiencing feels playful and positive.

Consider whether this body image + story has ever appeared before - or is this the only time you have ever been aware of these *exact* colours and this exact story about the body?

The first time that these exact colours and story appears.

Can you find any previous appearances of the body? Where are they? If not how can it be known that the body has appeared before?

No actual knowing of body appearing before.

Isn't it just an appearance 'now' and isn't there only a thought-story claiming you've seen this body before?

This is what was seen. Weird.

Bluecat

[forgetmenot]

Hey Bluecat,

For few days I have felt like I am in this weird place. Many things I have thought I have known to be some way, turn out to be something I have ever imagined. Disorienting but freeing :) This is why I wanted to start this guidance.

Beliefs start to fall away and there is nowhere to land anymore. When looking takes place, nothing is solid, there is no ‘oh, this is it’, so it is disorientating.

Isn't it just an appearance 'now' and isn't there only a thought-story claiming you've seen this body before?

This is what was seen. Weird.

The idea of ‘me’ and the idea of ‘my body’, like everything else in the dream, come and go. Are you aware of a ‘me’ or ‘my body’ 24/7?

There is a general assumption that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time or an event that is moving forward on this linear time, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But is there an experience that the ’now’ is moving along the line of time?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Any actual experience of one event following another?

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

What is the ‘past’ in actual experience?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or thoughts about ‘time’?

With love, Kay