Request for a guide

[forgetmenot]

Hey Linda,

Again, thanks for your time and patience.

Oh, my pleasure…thank you for being so diligent in LOOKING. This is a lovely post to read, Linda. It ‘feels’, to me, that something has shifted?

So can you find anyone/anything that is separate to experience? Is there a you and experience?

No I can't find anyone or anything that is separate to experience. There is experiencingexperience but nothing separate can be found as an experiencer.

When seeing there is no ‘experiencer’ of experience, in other words no ‘me’ who is experiencing…how does this feel…what happens for you?

The thoughts and mental images are real (actual experience) only as arising thoughts and mental images, their ‘presence’ cannot be denied. However their contents, what are they about (like the cup) are not ‘real’, they are just fantasies. Can you see this?

Ah! Yes I see this, it appeared at first that mental images were not AE-thought is quick to label these mental images so they appear as a further thought not the AE experience of thought. Mental image is thought just as thought is thought. It's the content of the mental image/thought that are further thought, thought fluff.

There seems to be some confusion on what the AE of thought is. You wrote:- “it appeared at first that mental images were not AE-thought is quick to label these mental images so they appear as a further thought not the AE experience of thought”

What is the difference between thought and “further thought”? I don’t understand what you mean by “further thought”. There are not many different thoughts. Thought is simply thought.

All thought, even the content of thought is the AE of thought. Everything that you think you think is AE of thought. The actual experience of thought isn't any different just because the content of the thought is different.
Is this clear?

Over the course of the next day or so, I'd like you to notice the content of thoughts. Whenever there is an arising thought or mental image, check whether its content (what it’s about) is REALLY happening, or the content is just pure imagination. Let me know how it goes.

Mental image of a red dress.
Mental image is real as far as AE of mental image, red dress is pure fantasy, not real. No dress to try on or fabric to feel.
Thought of a cold chair as I sat down. Thought wasn't needed in experiencing sensation.
Thought of a busy Monday ahead, pure fantasy. AE of thought but 'busy Monday ahead' pure imagination.

I'll keep looking at this over another day or so.

Lovely, Linda! Lovely, looking! And yes, keep looking.

What exactly is it that is experiencing colour ‘through’ them?

Nothing can be found as experiencing colour. AE of sensation, thought then says that the sensation is 'eyes' or a mental image of eyes and if looking in a mirror it's colour that is seen and thought will say 'there are the eyes that see' but if ignoring thought it's AE of sensation.

And is there a ‘you’ and sensation? Can a ‘you’ be found in sensation? Can anything be found but the sensation itself?

1) With eyes closed, can you confirm that what is experienced is 'blackness'?
2) Is there anything else in 'seeing' other than 'blackness'?
3) Can what is seeing the blackness be found?
4) Can a pair of eyes, an 'I' / 'me', a person be found that is ‘seeing’ the blackness? Or is there just 'blackness' to be found?
What do you find?

1. Yes I can confirm that blackness is experienced, but this is still colour so is AE of colour.
2. Nothing else in seeing just blackness.
3. No cannot find what is seeing blackness. There is sensation that thought labels tingling but that's it.
4. There is just blackness to be found. There are mental image/ thoughts that appear to suggest 'eyes' 'i' 'me' but blah blah blah and it's simply blackness that's appearing.

So when you look carefully at this and see that there is no one/nothing seeing. There is no ‘you’ who is actually seeing anything, how does this feel?

So, with the forehead and eyes exercise, did you find a separate self anywhere? And even with that LOOKING and seeing that all that is happening is that a 'mental' image and thought are appearing, there is still an idea thoughts are coming from a head and that seeing is coming from eyes, and thought still appears saying “but I feel I am a “me’” BUT can a “me” be found?

Couldn't find a separate self. Couldn't find eyes or forehead, there is still thoughts that appear to suggest me, eyes, forehead, hands, feet etc but ignoring thought, simply experiencingexperience.

And what happens when you see this, how does it feel?

Can a separate self be found at all or is there just thoughts about a me?

There is no separate self to be found at all, there are thoughts and mental images about 'me' but no AE of 'me'

And how does this feel?

Love, Kay

[Smudgestix]

When seeing there is no ‘experiencer’ of experience, in other words no ‘me’ who is experiencing…how does this feel…what happens for you?

Life is just happening and a realisation of this and no attachment to a 'me', no one and nothing taking control and deciding what life is bringing, this realisation itself is bringing sensations of calm, peace, sense of being lighter, freer. Life is appearing now, it can't appear in any other way. Experiencing what is happening now, no dwelling on a past or getting carried away with thoughts of the future, makes life lighter. There is no denying that there is a 'heavy' sensation that appears when the sense of 'i' appears but it's knowing that it simply doesn't exist. Looking for the 'i' when the sense of 'i' appears, well it simply can't be found, that heavy sensation goes. Thoughts and mental images appear but blah blah blah the thoughts and 'i' just can't be found.
There has definitely been a shift that words can't explain or do justice.

All thought, even the content of thought is the AE of thought. Everything that you think you think is AE of thought. The actual experience of thought isn't any different just because the content of the thought is different.
Is this clear?

Yes don't think the response that was sent explained it very well, apologies for this. There was also some confusion over thought and thoughts that appeared to carry on
a story but it is seen clearly that thought, everything that 'i' think 'i' think is AE of thought. Thoughts vary in content but they are all AE of thought.

And is there a ‘you’ and sensation? Can a ‘you’ be found in sensation? Can anything be found but the sensation itself?

No there isn't a 'me' that's experiencing sensation it is simply experiencing sensation.

So when you look carefully at this and see that there is no one/nothing seeing. There is no ‘you’ who is actually seeing anything, how does this feel?

Life is unfolding and appearing without 'i' doing anything. The realisation of this is liberating. Experiencingexperience without an attachment to anything or anyone, no expectations, life just flowing feels lighter.

Couldn't find a separate self. Couldn't find eyes or forehead, there is still thoughts that appear to suggest me, eyes, forehead, hands, feet etc but ignoring thought, simply experiencingexperience.
And what happens when you see this, how does it feel?

It's wonderful! Life just happening and will bring what ever it brings, whether it's laughter or pain, it's just simply knowing that these are simply appearances that will come and go.

There is no separate self to be found at all, there are thoughts and mental images about 'me' but no AE of 'me'
And how does this feel?

It's like a weight has gone, feels lighter.
There are still appearing thoughts of 'i' but there is simply a knowing that that's all they are - thoughts.

[forgetmenot]

Hey Linda,

It's wonderful! Life just happening and will bring what ever it brings, whether it's laughter or pain, it's just simply knowing that these are simply appearances that will come and go.

AND

It's like a weight has gone, feels lighter.
There are still appearing thoughts of 'i' but there is simply a knowing that that's all they are - thoughts.

Beautiful, Linda! :)

So, is it 100% clear that there is no separate self, even if thought appears saying there is?

How would you describe the "seeing through the separate self" to someone who has never heard of it?

Love, Kay

[Smudgestix]

Hi Kay

It's impossible to do the 2nd question without a sense of rambling, so the response is short but hopefully comes across well. Let me know if more is needed.

So, is it 100% clear that there is no separate self, even if thought appears saying there is?

Yes, there isn't a separate me even if thought appears to say there is. Looking for a 'me' or an 'i' can't be found.

How would you describe this to someone who has never heard of this? Who has never heard of there being no separate self etc.

Life is happening without a separate 'you'. 'You' are not separate from experiencing life as it flows. 'You' are not the controller or decision maker, life is simply happening.
There is only experiencing thought, sound,sensation, colour and taste but 'you' as a separate entity do not experience them. Thought will say 'you' are the experiencer of everything but look to find this 'you'.
There isn't a head or body that 'you' are contained in but simply a boundary-less awareness of life, knowing of it and experiencing it.
Experiencing experience is not 2 but is simply experiencingexperience as one.

Love
Linda

[forgetmenot]

Hey Linda,

Thank you for your answers. Okay, so let's give the following exercises another shot! :) Please answer what's true for you right now, rather than any sort of 'ideal' answer.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

Love, Kay

[Smudgestix]

Hi Kay

Apologies for a late reply, but 'I've' been letting all this work settle.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No there is no separate self in any way,shape or form.
Thought says there was but no never.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

Can't actually think or remember a time when it started but from thoughts of childhood. Thoughts of parents raising a child 'Linda' but can't think of anything specific that points to this illusion starting. Thoughts of learning this is 'mine' and this is 'i' from childhood. This is where the illusion started I guess
along with the belief that all thoughts were 'mine' and were believed to come from me-' I thought this that and the other, I' saw, 'i' heard etc all this was happening to 'me'. Didn't think that 'i' wasn't in control or making decisions, or to question that thoughts were not the reason behind sensations or emotions or whatever 'i' was experiencing.
Seeing life now is different, life is happening, unfolding, flowing there is no separate I that is doing anything to experience life, to control it or to decide what happens.
Thoughts can be useful, and can be amusing with its stories or just blah blah blah and through this experience of LU, it has been shown that there is no control over thought or anything.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

Calm, peaceful, freer! The past few days have felt this way and there is still that sense of 'i' that appears but the difference is knowing that there is no 'i'.

Love
Linda

[forgetmenot]

Hi Linda,

Thank you for your lovely responses. Here are the rest of the questions :)

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
b) What makes things happen? How does it work?
c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

Love, Kay

[Smudgestix]

Hi Kay

Here are the responses to the final part of the questions and thanks for your continued guiding :)

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Not a specific something just looking and experiencing what has been worked through. Allowing this to settle, no limitations of body just experiencing life flowing.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.

5a) Decision was thought to be 'I' coming to a conclusion or resolving a situation, but this is just thought. Deciding to make a drink, making a drink just happened there was no decider to decide to make a drink. Like waking up 'i' didn't decide to wake up this morning it just happened, thought will say 'i' was responsible for this action but there was no decision.
'I' couldnt change deciding to make a drink to make something to eat instead.
5a) Intention was always believed as me making plans or aiming to do something. But there is no 'i' to plan or aim, life is happening without intention. Thought will say it was intended or planned by this 'i' but this 'i' cannot be found and what is intended is happening without a separate 'i'
5a) Free will was again believed to be freedom of choice or decision. Without an 'i' to choose or decide, no one and nothing choosing or deciding, free will is simply an idea/ thought. Life is free and happening without an 'i' to believe that it had the free will to do it.
5a) Choice again was believed to have someone to choose between one thing or another. There is no chooser of anything, there is no 'i' to choose to see colour or feel sensation. All experiencing is happening without choice or a chooser. Thought will appear to say that 'i' chose but this 'i' cannot be found that made any choice.
5a) Control again was believed to be 'i' having the power to influence what is happening or to direct life in a certain way. There is no controller controlling. 'I' cannot influence or direct what is happening. Life is happening without an 'i' to control it.

b) What makes things happen? How does it work?

5b) What makes things happen? There is only awareness of what is happening. The is no separate entity to make anything happen. Life is simply happening.
How does it work? Life is working freely, without an 'i' to decide, control or choose.

c) What are you responsible for?
d) Give examples from experience.

5c) & 5d) 'i' as a separate entity is responsible for nothing that is happening. There is still life that has responsibilities like going to work and paying bills but no 'i' to be responsible in how this is 'played' out. Thought can appear to say 'i' have the choice to go to work today or 'i' decide to go to work and pay the bills but reality is there is no 'I' responsible for doing this. Taking responsibility for these actions is just a thought. Life is happening without 'I' being responsibly for it.

6) Anything to add?

Just a big thanks for your time and patience helping with this Kay. Your pointing is very clear.

Love
Linda

[forgetmenot]

Hey Linda....many thanks for your responses. I am going to ask some of the other guides to have a look at the thread to make sure I have covered everything. This may take a few days. I will be in contact when I have heard from the team.

Love, Kay

[Smudgestix]

Hi Kay

Thanks for your reply. Hope to hear back soon

Love
Linda

[forgetmenot]

Hi Linda,

Congratulations, and welcome through the Gateless Gate. There are no further questions for you. It has been a pleasure to walk with you and point the way. Thank you for being so open and willing to LOOK!

Keep an eye out for an email notification from the forum about a PM (private message) inviting you to join our Aftercare group on Facebook. The PM also details other resources available to you. Your name will change from green to blue, which indicates that you have had the realisation of there being no separate self.

You can contact me at any time if you have any questions etc, via the forums PM system, or via Facebook if you decide to join our groups there.

Love, Kay