Wake the f**k up

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn!

Something is stuck. I dont know.

Had a very open moment Saturday evening. Had written the reply to you, got asked a question by someone and then boom!

The thought said “it’s all just happening”

I wrote that, heart pounding and I sat there. Immediately after thoughts flooded in, “this can’t be it” “is that the gateless gate” “did that just happen” “no couldn’t be”

And then I was convinced. Comvinced. That this wasn’t it.

Spent the rest of the night judging thoughts. An “I” thought will appear, then “I” or something notices the “I” thought and says “why, there is no I”

And that’s where I am. Seeing thoughts, judging them and so on.

Ashley.

[Artst]

Hi, Ashley,

Sorry for the slow reply.

got asked a question by someone and then boom!

What was the question?

And then I was convinced. Comvinced. That this wasn’t it.

Where is this I that was convinced? Does it matter what the thoughts are saying?

You're doing fine.

Love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good evening Robyn,

No apology necessary..

What was the question?

I don't even remember the question, it was a family member standing outside the door talking to me. something random. I had been writing the reply to you, finished writing about the body, looked up, took the focus off LU, answered her and then the thought was "its all just happening". The moment was electrifying

Where is this I that was convinced? Does it matter what the thoughts are saying?

The only place there is an "I" is in thoughts and its a label or an image. Guess it doesn't matter what thoughts are saying. Just hard sometimes to completely see the emptiness of them.

Had another moment today. in the car driving to school, saw the name of a song and it occurred to me that nothing is standing in the way of all This but this fictitious "me" which is centered in thought. Suddenly got clear again. music was playing and there was no "I" hearing - there was only hearing. There was sight but no "I" seeing it.

Today has been much more peaceful. Not sure what this all means.

Hope you had a lovely day!

Ashley

[Artst]

Dear Ashley,

Guess it doesn't matter what thoughts are saying.

My guide wrote, paraphrasing: There are three kinds of thoughts -- the ones that are useful, the ones that are entertaining and the ones to treat like refrigerator noise. Hahaha! Simple wisdom!

Just hard sometimes to completely see the emptiness of them.

Sometimes it seems as though thoughts are the "illusion keepers." ;)

Not sure what this all means.

And what is "Not sure what this all means?"

Keep me posted!

Love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good Evening Robyn,

Thank you for your reply!

My guide wrote, paraphrasing: There are three kinds of thoughts -- the ones that are useful, the ones that are entertaining and the ones to treat like refrigerator noise. Hahaha! Simple wisdom!

This is good stuff!

Thoughts are the illusion keepers..

"Not sure what this all means?"

I wrote that because it seemed confusing because the night before there was a profound moment. And then the next day it was distant and thought seemed to be ruling. I guess it was more of a "I'm not sure what is next" statement.

Today was an interesting day. Peaceful actually. There were thoughts but most did not seem to stick. There were, of course, moments where the thought "this seems too good to be true" or something arises that brings about more thought. But overall it was a fairly clear day.

Be well, Robyn.

Ashley

[Artst]

Hi,Ashley,

My computer is in the shop and I’m finding that my iPad isn’t compatible with this website when it comes to the quote function (or I just don’t get how to use it).

So...based on what I read that you wrote, my first question to you is this: Are you clear that there is no I?

Do you recall the analogy about seeing a man in a red suit but knowing that that is not actually Santa Claus? Similarly, there are thoughts of I; yet do you know now that they are not I?

Lastly, can you let go of the expectation that you will be clear all the time?

Looking forward to your answers.

Love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good evening Robyn,

I get it girl. I have tried to use the phone and it is wonky to say the least.

Are you clear that there is no I?

Yes!

Do you recall the analogy about seeing a man in a red suit but knowing that that is not actually Santa Claus? Similarly, there are thoughts of I; yet do you know now that they are not I?

Yes I think so. Today it seemed like there were more thoughts (which helped with your next question) and some brought sensations (feelings) about. In having those thoughts I don't recall being invested in them. None seemed to be happening "to me". Not sure if that makes sense.

Lastly, can you let go of the expectation that you will be clear all the time?

yes, I think that will go. :)

I assume there will be more expectations seen and then loss of them?

Thank you Robyn.

Ashley

[Artst]

Hi, Ashley,

Thanks for understanding the technical glitch.

Super super that you get there’s no I! ;-)

Beautiful that the thoughts didn’t seem to be happening to ‘you.’ Exactly!

As for expectations, I don’t know if you will have more come up; the key is recognizing them as expectations — or even better if you really look at them, do you see that they are simply thoughts?

Anything else before I send you the final questions again? (No rush—let me know if there’s anything you want to look at.)

Love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good evening Robyn,

As for expectations, I don’t know if you will have more come up; the key is recognizing them as expectations — or even better if you really look at them, do you see that they are simply thoughts?

yes, I can see that those too are just thoughts. Had some experiences with this today. But the thought came, maybe even a sensation came along too. But was able to recognize that it is a thought and move on.

Anything else before I send you the final questions again? (No rush—let me know if there’s anything you want to look at.)

I don't have any questions at the moment. Please send the questions at your convenience.

be well,
Ashley

[Artst]

Hi Ashley,

I’m a little under the weather. If I don’t get them to you later tonight, I’ll send them tomorrow.

Or if you like, you can just copy and paste them from an earlier message in your thread.

Love,

Robyn

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn,

I am right there with you. Stayed home yesterday to rest.

You do the same.

I’ll copy and paste. Will get back to you in the next couple of days.

♥️ Ashley

[smashme]

Good evening Robyn,

I do hope you are feeling better..

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was
there ever?

There is no separate self, me or I. There never was

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self-started I guess when I was a child. Being labeled “Ashley”, learning what was mine or not mine from my parents, being told what I was good at or not good at.

Can’t think of a time where I didn’t believe thoughts came from “me” or a time when I was not invested in them. Everything was “mine”, “I did” “what I heard” “What I saw” or “who I am”. When thought happened it was happening “to me” – didn’t ever think that I didn’t have some sort of control over them. Most of the time, I was not even aware of how insane the thoughts were or how driven feelings, reality or decisions were on them. They were just unconsciously happening.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days

.

Liberating. The first few days were very peaceful. Little thought “stuck”. The last few days – there has been thought and quite a bit refers to an “I” or a “me” – the difference from before to now is that there is a knowing that there is no me or I.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Wasted energy. Missing out on reality. The feeling of being perpetually stuck in thought.

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen?
How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Decision: there are times when a conclusion or resolution needs to happen. Using the thinking mind, one can use experiences or tools to formulate the right answer. Ie: which direction to drive in or how to use a formula in a math problem.

Intention: an aim or plan. On a daily basis, there is the plan to go to work.

Free will: I can see the definition but am not sure what to write.

Choice: the act of making a decision between two or more possibilities. Today I went to a coffee shop and there was an option for green tea and Oolong Ginger tea – based on past preference the thought was to have Oolong ginger.

Control: the power to influence or direct. There is no control over thoughts

Not sure what makes things happen. Just know all is in existence

**How does what work? Can you expand Robyn?

6) Anything to add?

The second time writing these was hard. There was no desire to do it

[Artst]

Hi Ashley,

I just read your message; it’s clear you see there is no I and that there has been a shift. Congratulations on that!

I want to have you look at your answers to question 5. The idea is not to define those things but, with the realization that there is no I, to look into how those notions actually are and what’s really happening. Your very last sentence sounds like you see. Do you see choice, etc,, as still the same as when you believed in an I?

If they still do seem the same as before, I have an exercise for you.

Also, will you please elaborate on what had you reluctant to answer the questions a second time?

Are you well again? I hope so. I’m still laid up with back spasms but getting better, thank you.

Love,
Robyn

[smashme]

Good morning Robyn,

Back spasms! Not sure what that is like but it doesn’t not sound pleasent. I do hope you feel better soon. I’m feeling much better. Thank you for asking.

These thoughts happened.

Went to bed last night with the intention of waking up this morning. Like “I” have control over that. It occurred this morning - That there is no “I” that controls that. There is no choice on that matter. This body wakes up and sees/hears moves all on its own. Same with dreams or thoughts. They occur. Last night was restless sleep and there was no control over the thoughts that were occurring, which btw, were about answering number 5. Lol. 😊

Reluctant to answer because there were strong thoughts of “I” this weekend.

♥️ Ashley

[Artst]

Hi Ashley,

Thank you for your compassion. I’m glad you’re feeling better.

Great job at really looking. Will you please apply these insights to the questions that make up a Question 5?

Sometimes I thoughts can seem overwhelming, no doubt. The thing about seeing through the illusion of I is that you only see through it once. There’s no going back, no ‘unknowing’ it, no matter how many I thoughts arise. Do you see this?

Love,

Robyn