GETIT!

[Matthew]

Was there an "I", that had a vote in the past?

The “I” thought that was thinking it’s own thoughts..as if that was possible.

So let us be perfectly clear here.

Is it the I-thought, which is thinking other thoughts?
Can a thought think other thoughts?

Does anything think thoughts or bring them up?

Does thought have a source?



Please again and as always, have a fresh look at actual experience. At what is here now. At what presents itself effortlessly when posing these questions.

[Kixem]

Is it the I-thought, which is thinking other thoughts?
Can a thought think other thoughts?

Not possible, an illusion. Voting was an illusion. An “I” thought, or any other thought, cannot think other thoughts.

Does anything think thoughts or bring them up?

No. Thoughts appear. Out of nowhere, and disappear into nowhere.

Does thought have a source?

[Matthew]

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

[Kixem]

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. Not now, not ever. There’s life.

[Matthew]

Please explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

[Kixem]

Please explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

Thoughts appear, of being different, special, unique, good, bad, gifted, sinful, ordinary, having character defects, mostly suggested and introduced or confirmed by others at a rather young age, maybe 6-10?, I don’t know, earlier?
Once these thoughts believed, accepted and embraced they start constructing a “self” and begin to develop fences to protect, maintain, build up, compensate, comfort same. All along operating under the belief “it’s me against the world”, “I must never be found out”, “better hide”. All of that in the most unconscious mode possible. Dissociating for survival.

[Matthew]

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

[Kixem]

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Still, big emptiness..
“..the difference from before you started this dialogue?”.. Everything’s upside down.., inside out.., “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,..everywhere The ceremony of innocence(ignorance!)is drowned;..
That’s how it feels..

[Matthew]

That sounds pretty good :-)


What was the last bit that pushed it over, made you look?

[Kixem]

What was the last bit that pushed it over, made you look?

Can’t tell. I’ve been staring at the question the entire time, asking myself over and over and over, is it true?, there is no me; is it true?, I doesn’t exist; is it true?, is it true?
Can’t tell.
I’m so grateful to you for sticking with me this whole time and relentlessly proding, asking, questioning. And all of that from the other side of the world!..I’m truly moved.

[Matthew]

It is my greatest pleasure!



Please describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

[Kixem]

Please describe decision

Thoughts about preferable possible outcomes, wise choices.... Mostly a concept of some credibility in my world prior to November 27, the beginning of this dialogue. These days, meh, I don’t know what this term could imply. “I” can make “decisions”until “i” is blue in the face. It doesn’t mean anything. Things will turn out the way things will turn out and I doesn’t have anything to say about it. “I” will consider this and that and the other and being satisfied that “it” has all pertinent required data available, will proceed to, presumably, pursue some course..and will feel good about it, “It” will have the sense that “It” exercised some control over the matter. All a bunch of horse manure.. It feels like it’s such an irrelevant concept..there are no decisions to be made. None. Zero.

[Matthew]

Is there anything to add?

Is there any unclarity left? Anything still needing a close look?

[Kixem]

Now then what?

[Matthew]

There are of course other aspects of reality that can be looked at.
But concerning the belief in a separate self, that's basically "it".
There is not more to see than nothing...

Is there a sense of dissatisfaction about what was discovered?