Free from prison of feelings

[Inkeri]

Hey!!

Have a look at the second hand on a clock. It seems to be changing. But can you find 10 seconds ago in actual experience? 5 seconds? 1 second? Keep noticing that change is always only a story about some experience "prior to this". But only *this* can be found. How could there have been another experience at all? Where has it gone to?

Only this moment can truly be found! That is so true! All the rest is just thoughts and imagination. This was also a good excercise, very 'down to earth'. And it helps to really see the point! Even if I somehow understood it before, this made me see it more deeply. Thaks!!

About stories... I noticed today that I have a lot of old stories and habits and reaction-models that are activated in certain situations. 'Past' still has a grip in me. I know that they won't just dissapear in one seeing.. Have to notice them and take responsibility to not stay in that mode.

I will get back to you tomorrow for the other excercise!

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Hiya

Only this moment can truly be found! That is so true! All the rest is just thoughts and imagination. This was also a good excercise, very 'down to earth'. And it helps to really see the point! Even if I somehow understood it before, this made me see it more deeply. Thaks!!

Wonderful! This is a good exercise to come back to, especially when/if you feel that you are back in the illusion. Any of these exercises can be helpful to ground you back :)

About stories... I noticed today that I have a lot of old stories and habits and reaction-models that are activated in certain situations. 'Past' still has a grip in me. I know that they won't just dissapear in one seeing.. Have to notice them and take responsibility to not stay in that mode.

A story is just a thought, an old story is just a recurring thought. Is it possible for the past to have a grip on you when you know that it is not real? It can take a while for habits to change, you are right, but they certainly can change! Do you think you have any control over your thoughts? Can you choose not to have a particular thought? Can you choose whether to believe a thought or not?

We can come back to this when you have done the other exercise, but put it on the back burner for now, keep an eye on it!!

Hugs

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey!

So, this exercise again, without looking my previous post ;)

Look at a thought about the past..
What is a memory ‘made of’?
WHEN does a memory appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

okay... Memory is based on thoughts. It appears when I'm not present in this moment. General thoughts just flote everywhere all the time. Sometimes I notice them and sometimes don't. Memory thought is not here/ present/ true. And Memory thoughts are absolutely based on imagination.

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?
WHEN does the future thought appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?
Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the exact difference between the thoughts about past and future?
If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

Future thought is also just imagination. It appears when I'm not present in this moment. And difference between these are basically the same as with memory thought. It is not possible to know that future thinking will lead to something real, that would happen. This moment I can't find a difference between a thought from the past and a thought about the future, they are both not real.


I looked also your previous posts questions:

Is it possible for the past to have a grip on you when you know that it is not real?

When I deeply know that it is not real, then no.

Do you think you have any control over your thoughts? Can you choose not to have a particular thought? Can you choose whether to believe a thought or not?

Well, thoughts just come. I have noticed that I can not choose them, but wether to believe them or not, I do have the power. Yesterday showed me that there is still work to do in that believing section! But, I'm glad to notice that I did'n stay mad that long (as before) :D

Hugsy

[Bambaji]

Hi

okay... Memory is based on thoughts. It appears when I'm not present in this moment. General thoughts just flote everywhere all the time. Sometimes I notice them and sometimes don't. Memory thought is not here/ present/ true. And Memory thoughts are absolutely based on imagination.

Excellent looking, yes: imagination/story/thought - all the same thing.

Future thought is also just imagination. It appears when I'm not present in this moment. And difference between these are basically the same as with memory thought. It is not possible to know that future thinking will lead to something real, that would happen. This moment I can't find a difference between a thought from the past and a thought about the future, they are both not real.

Again, excellent looking Inkeri, thank you.

Well, thoughts just come. I have noticed that I can not choose them, but wether to believe them or not, I do have the power. Yesterday showed me that there is still work to do in that believing section! But, I'm glad to notice that I did'n stay mad that long (as before) :D

Do you think it is possible to control some things and not others then? You can't control thoughts but you can control belief of thoughts? Is there still some feeling that there is something or someone separate from what is happening and controlling elements of that experience?

Have a go with this exercise:

With the eyes closed, sitting still, notice the other sensations: hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. With only the input from those four senses, and without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or a volume?
Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?
Can you feel where the body ends?

Do you have control over this body?
Can you locate a mind?

Can you feel your ears?
Does the body hear? Or is there hearing?

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there an inside or outside?
What does the body consist of in direct experience?
Are you this body?

Big hug

xx

[Inkeri]

Hi!

Do you think it is possible to control some things and not others then? You can't control thoughts but you can control belief of thoughts? Is there still some feeling that there is something or someone separate from what is happening and controlling elements of that experience?

I looked at this many many times today... And had a brief moment where I felt that it is not possible to control anything. If there is the deep knowing that I do not exist, then there is nothing to control about. no reasion to control. Nothing sticks. Thoughts are just thoughts like smell is a smell. So no separation at all! I am just a 'building' with sensations and ability to express how I feel.

So, the excercise:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or a volume?
Is there a boundary between the body and the ground?
Can you feel where the body ends?

Do you have control over this body?
Can you locate a mind?

Can you feel your ears?
Does the body hear? Or is there hearing?

In direct experience does the body have a shape or a form?
Is there an inside or outside?
What does the body consist of in direct experience?
Are you this body?

So, no, Can't know how tall my body is, what the weight or volume is, where my ears are etc. There is only hearing. Like smelling and tasting. I am not this body. No inside and no outside, just is. No control. Can't locate the mind either. It just is. They seem to be like tools to play with 😉

These are the thoughts from today!
Have a wonderful evening!

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Good evening :)

I looked at this many many times today... And had a brief moment where I felt that it is not possible to control anything. If there is the deep knowing that I do not exist, then there is nothing to control about. no reasion to control. Nothing sticks. Thoughts are just thoughts like smell is a smell. So no separation at all! I am just a 'building' with sensations and ability to express how I feel.

This is lovely, great looking.

So, no, Can't know how tall my body is, what the weight or volume is, where my ears are etc. There is only hearing. Like smelling and tasting. I am not this body. No inside and no outside, just is. No control. Can't locate the mind either. It just is. They seem to be like tools to play with 😉

And again, very good looking, thank you so much for your commitment to this work :)

Is there anything that you would like to look at? How do you feel now compared to how you felt when we began this dialogue? Have you any expectations left around this process? Tell me where you are now :)

xxxx

[Inkeri]

Hi!!

A big thanks to you! <3 This has already been an amazing journey!

At this point I feel that I have learned a lot. Seen a lot. And proven my self a lot considering what it comes to life it self and the elements in it. Compared to where we started, I do not feel like I'm drifting through life anymore. And I'm not a victim of situations (that much) anymore. Thoughts and feelings do not have that big effect anymore. (Some times not at all, but sometimes still...). Staying present has been really difficult for me before. (loud and busy mind!). I notice that now more. And I really have to focus on NOW as much as I can. Go with the flow. And to observe, look around what is happening, not to 'make' anything happen... Because it's not possible. I only exhaust myself in that process! I guess I feel quite peaceful and life seems to go on on it's own (mostly). But I have to be honest that some part of me still waits for some 'big insight'.

I guess if you have some exercises of 'me' not excisting, it would be useful to go through.

Thank you Bambaji! So grateful!

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Hi sweetie, good evening

Thank you Bambaji! So grateful!

You are welcome, and I am grateful to you. Each time I guide I have the opportunity to deepen my experience - it's fantastic to share this journey with each other :)

But I have to be honest that some part of me still waits for some 'big insight'.

This is a very common expectation Inkeri. But the actual experience for many people seems to be a waking up to what is real, a gradual dropping away of what is illusion, a realisation that "this is actually it and always was!" There are some who have a kind of big bang experience, you may still have that, you may not. And is there really "some part of you" or is this just a figure of speech?!!

Do you feel that something is missing from your experience right now and that a big insight would change that?

I guess if you have some exercises of 'me' not excisting, it would be useful to go through.

How do you think, feel or experience the 'self', 'I' or ‘me’'?

xx

[Inkeri]

Hello! :)

And is there really "some part of you" or is this just a figure of speech?!!

No! So yes, it was just a figure of speech!! 🙈

Do you feel that something is missing from your experience right now and that a big insight would change that?

Hmm.. Missing, I guess not. I have to look into this more. Maybe write more tomorrow..

How do you think, feel or experience the 'self', 'I' or ‘me’?

I had quite an active day today and most of it just went with the flow. It was interesting to observe what happens and 'who' makes the decisions. No-one! There is no-one there. Thoughs come and what feels good just happen without any effort. So the illusion 'I' is fading.
I feel like looking into this more tomorrow. And I will report back!

(I was at this acupuncturist today and I'm feeling a bit fuzzy 😅)

Good night!
Hugs

[Bambaji]

Thanks for your report.

I had quite an active day today and most of it just went with the flow. It was interesting to observe what happens and 'who' makes the decisions. No-one! There is no-one there. Thoughs come and what feels good just happen without any effort. So the illusion 'I' is fading.

Lovely, the illusion fading away, it's quite a peaceful thing really, no drama.

I will wait to hear more from you tomorrow before I bombard you with questions!!

Acupuncture can really space a person out!!

Hugs back

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

So...

Do you feel that something is missing from your experience right now and that a big insight would change that?

I do not find anything that is missing. I know that life is a journy and every day is a possibility to explore and find new things. This is where I am now, and it feels peaceful. Accept and observe.

'I' , 'Me' , ' Self' , 'You' , 'He' , 'She'... These only seem to be labels to point on to someone particular. When you take away the ownership to everything, this identification to 'self' fades away. Right now I do not find an 'I'. And actually it feels really liberating! Like the whole world opens up. No boundaries. I am not responsible to what is happening around in the world or what some other person is doing. The need to control everything has significantly decreased. Shame and feelings of fear seem to also vanish. World is a playground and I am here to explore it.

So yes, feels good 😊

Go ahaid, bomb me with questions!! 😅

[Bambaji]

Good evening :)

I do not find anything that is missing. I know that life is a journy and every day is a possibility to explore and find new things. This is where I am now, and it feels peaceful. Accept and observe.

Lovely

'I' , 'Me' , ' Self' , 'You' , 'He' , 'She'... These only seem to be labels to point on to someone particular. When you take away the ownership to everything, this identification to 'self' fades away. Right now I do not find an 'I'. And actually it feels really liberating! Like the whole world opens up. No boundaries. I am not responsible to what is happening around in the world or what some other person is doing. The need to control everything has significantly decreased. Shame and feelings of fear seem to also vanish. World is a playground and I am here to explore it.

This is beautiful to read Inkeri, sounds like you are in a good place with this.

So, first question: do you think you have seen through the illusion of self? Remember that this conversation is really for the purpose of seeing through the illusion. There may be more to explore from here, and there is plenty of support for ongoing investigation if you want that. But for now, how would you answer this question?

My second question for this evening: do you feel ready for the final six questions? These are the ones that all gatecrashers are asked and the answers are shared with the other guides to see if they have any feedback or further questions. If you have any doubts or would like to explore anything further, now would be a good time to flag this up.

Over to you honey!!

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

So, first question: do you think you have seen through the illusion of self? Remember that this conversation is really for the purpose of seeing through the illusion. There may be more to explore from here, and there is plenty of support for ongoing investigation if you want that. But for now, how would you answer this question?

Whoa... I think I have. Yet don't know if I have. I find my self still reacting in certain situations (losing temper or getting irritated) a little. Like 10% is till there ;D . I notice it now more quickly and am able to let the feeling go. But this still happens... (yesterday for example when we were brushing our daughters teeth and the co-operation was not that good.)

So when this journey is for the purpose you said, and I'm not selfish (haha) to take more of your time, I would gladly explore a bit more. I feel that there is a difference between seeing it and really SEEING it.. I don't want to leave it on the surface.

So what comes to the second question, a bit later ;)

Hugs xx

[Bambaji]

Hiya

Whoa... I think I have. Yet don't know if I have. I find my self still reacting in certain situations (losing temper or getting irritated) a little. Like 10% is till there ;D . I notice it now more quickly and am able to let the feeling go. But this still happens... (yesterday for example when we were brushing our daughters teeth and the co-operation was not that good.)

My experience: I also still find myself reacting in some circumstances, but, as you say, I see it more quickly and this seeing seems to stop it. That reaction is a habit and it may take time to change, it may never change. I don't think about it much anymore, if it happens it happens, it comes and it goes. It doesn't leave any residue, there is no expectation that it will or won't happen.

So when this journey is for the purpose you said, and I'm not selfish (haha) to take more of your time, I would gladly explore a bit more. I feel that there is a difference between seeing it and really SEEING it.. I don't want to leave it on the surface.

Let's explore a bit more then! I don't want you to go off half-cooked (lol), and I have as much time as you need. Just be aware of any expectation that you have around "seeing it". Seeing through the illusion means seeing what is already there, what never left, what can't not be there! It can be very subtle, very ordinary - and in that ordinariness it can be utterly mindblowing!! Again, look, are you telling a story around seeing it?

These exercises are all quite similar, and some may be repeated, but each can uncover a bit of lurking identification with self and also our habit of accepting the thoughts and stories that arise. We shall look at the difference between actual sensory input (your direct and actual experience) and the interpretations of sensory input (what thought tells you).

Exercise:
Get a coffee mug or cup and put it in front of you on the table. Look at it the way you normally look at something. Always use your senses as you normally would.
What do you see? What is the raw sensory information? What is only seen?
It works best when you relax and just let the sensory input be seen, without doing anything. No need to focus hard or gaze at the cup. Everything we do comes from a very relaxed position.
Write down what is seen.
What can you not see? How about three-dimensionality? Can that be seen? Does the mug look round? How does the opening look without interpretation? Can substance be seen? Write it down.
What is added by thoughts? Write it down as well.
What did you find?

Have fun with this, there is no right or wrong, just looking

xx

[Inkeri]

Hi,

And thank you for sharing your experience! It helps! I will also be aware of any expectations that I might have around "seeing it".

Again, look, are you telling a story around seeing it?

I'm not quite sure what u meen... I just get my mind in a node with this 🙈

But, the cup-excercise. This is what I found:
There are edges and a ring to hold the cup. I see the colors and the pictures in the cup. I see a part of the inside of the cup that is white. Hmm.. How do I know that it's inside! My thoughts and experience! (Lol) ! So I really just see an area that is white. Tree-dimensionality is not seen. Only the cups edge from the behind looks a bit round. And also the front edge looks round, where the colour difference is seen. The opening itself is really not seen. My thoughts are shouting that there it is, but it is not seen!!

Hugs xx