Free from prison of feelings

[Bambaji]

Good morning honey

No controller. Trees are just "tree-ing" and flowers "flower-ing". They just are and at the same time perfectly "living their mission". If it's windy, they dance at the same rythm. Beautiful 💚

This is lovely, it is a beautiful thing to connect with.

Noup. Can't find an entity called ego. I think it is just another label in my mind. It is a part of the "me/I", but kind of the "black sheep of the family". (If you understand what I'm trying to say 😅).

lol, yes!

But we can also use the mind, right? I actually don't know how to ask this, but I do have a questionmark around this mind-label... Brain. Experiences. How to solve problems... Something lile this.

Yes, let's look at mind. It is a useful tool but it can be the cause of all sorts of problems when we have unquestioned assumptions about what is going on with it. A few posts back you said:

I see that the mind is some how connected to the brain. Also located there. Mind is the place where memories are (not all). Mind solves problems. Can't see the mind...

You can't see the mind. Can you even find the mind when you look for it? Have you an assumption about where it is in the body? You say it's a place where some memories are stored - so it's a container then? Does it have a shape/colour/size?

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

A brief update.. Today has been a bit more challenging day so far. Our doughter is teething and is that's why cranky. I notice that the irritation is right by the door for me.
Also I'm going out tonight and she is propably sensing that too.. These kind of situations are hard for me because I would like to do something for me, but her behavior is making it a bit difficult...

Well, I'll just try to observe and go with the flow 😅

This is my post today, write again tomorrow!!

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Ok honey, go gently, have a great night out :) xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

Survived from girls night out! 😅 Have had a good opportunity today to observe my body and the sensations in it due to yesterdays partying. Noticed that I do not own any feelings anymore. They just are and the resistance is much less or not at all for unpleasant feelings. That was very nice thing to notice!!

You can't see the mind. Can you even find the mind when you look for it? Have you an assumption about where it is in the body? You say it's a place where some memories are stored - so it's a container then? Does it have a shape/colour/size?

This is good.. Can't find the mind. But I have imagined it to locate in the head. Container... No. Can't find any words to describe it. So it is an label?

But who or what is the awareness that uderstands all the signals from life (colours, smells, music tunes etc.)?

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Hi Inkeri, good evening

Have had a good opportunity today to observe my body and the sensations in it due to yesterdays partying. Noticed that I do not own any feelings anymore. They just are and the resistance is much less or not at all for unpleasant feelings. That was very nice thing to notice!!

Indeed, well done.

This is good.. Can't find the mind. But I have imagined it to locate in the head. Container... No. Can't find any words to describe it. So it is an label?

Pick it apart and see. If you can't find it in your direct experience, then it could well be a label, a sort of figure of speech. It is often used interchangeably with the brain. What I was looking for here is whether you think there is a separate "thing" called a mind, a storage unit full of thoughts, and you don't seem to have that illusion.

Tell me about memories and about thoughts concerning the future. What is your current belief here? Look very carefully and report what you find.

But who or what is the awareness that uderstands all the signals from life (colours, smells, music tunes etc.)?

Tell me what you think is there. When you sit and listen to music with total absorption, when you appreciate the smells of a good meal, or get lost in the colours of the sky - what is happening? Is Inkeri there? What is left when Inkeri sleeps? What is left when all the labels around Inkeri drop away?

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey!

Tell me about memories and about thoughts concerning the future. What is your current belief here? Look very carefully and report what you find.

Ok... Some memories are still 'there', but most of them are somehow faded. Can't find a clear picture anymore. And they do not come to my awareness that often anymore. I think ai have accepted some situations from the past that was haunting me earlier. Have been able to let go... Present is more here now.
And how I think about the future.. I notice that I'm not planning so much ahead. I trust that focusing on the present moment, I will be more happy and stable and at the same time creating the future. Now this is the only moment that is real. And it feels peaceful.

Tell me what you think is there. When you sit and listen to music with total absorption, when you appreciate the smells of a good meal, or get lost in the colours of the sky - what is happening? Is Inkeri there? What is left when Inkeri sleeps? What is left when all the labels around Inkeri drop away?

There happens some sort of melting. Becoming one with the music or the beauty of the sky. I guess when there isn't any distractions, it's easier to feel the presens of life. I do belive in energy and awareness that is available for all of us. We are just bodies with senses and ability to deal with thoughts... Intuition is available when the persona is not in the way. We are still individual, we humans, animals and plants. I guess that is just one way to make this experience more interesting. But what is the purpose of this all? Just to live and enjoy it?

Hugs

[Bambaji]

Hi there

There happens some sort of melting. Becoming one with the music or the beauty of the sky. I guess when there isn't any distractions, it's easier to feel the presens of life. I do belive in energy and awareness that is available for all of us

Lovely, thank you, a sort of melting is what I experience too :)

But what is the purpose of this all? Just to live and enjoy it?

Must there be a purpose? Isn't to live and enjoy it enough? I can't say if there is a purpose, but I believe that the search for a purpose and meaning is a head trip, and it will keep us firmly in the grip of the illusion of separation! It is the search for something other than what is happening right here and now.

So what do you see is left when the labels fall away?

Let's look closer at past and future. Here is a series of questions for you to sit with and contemplate. Take your time and try not to think your way through them. Always look and report only what you find through your direct experience, what is happening right here and now.

What is a memory ‘made of’?
WHEN does a memory appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?
WHEN does the future thought appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?
Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the exact difference between the thoughts about past and future?
If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

Look at what actually going on and not what thoughts say… but what actually is.

Thanks Inkeri. Go gently

xx

[Inkeri]

Hey,

Must there be a purpose? Isn't to live and enjoy it enough? I can't say if there is a purpose, but I believe that the search for a purpose and meaning is a head trip, and it will keep us firmly in the grip of the illusion of separation! It is the search for something other than what is happening right here and now.

True. And truly living and enjoying life is absolutely enough! I guess it is/ was some kind of a mind trick to search and search for something 'big'. ...Yes, thank you!

So what do you see is left when the labels fall away?

I guess nothing and everything.

Take your time and try not to think your way through them. Always look and report only what you find through your direct experience, what is happening right here and now.

Look at what actually going on and not what thoughts say… but what actually is.

Here is a question from your previous post and an answer without quotes:

What is a memory ‘made of’?
->It's made of images (pictures and stories in the head) and colored by thoughts from now.

WHEN does a memory appear?
->Usually similar situation triggers it. Or a smell, music, a place or a person...

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?
->A memory thought is coming from the past. Mind is somehow going back 'in time' to pick something up. Consciously. I am not present then.. And I'm bringing the past to present..(Illusion?)
A general thought just comes.

How is it known exactly that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?
->It isn't... Usually memory lies.

What is the future thought ‘made of’?
->Imagination. Only thoughts and guessing what might happen.

WHEN does the future thought appear?
->Hmmm.. When I consciously plan on something. 'Day dreaming'.

What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?
-> This is a hard one.. There are usually more feelings involved in future thoughts.. (?) Mind is also taking the awareness away from the present in future thinking.

How is it known exactly that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?
->It's not. Just guessing...

Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the exact difference between the thoughts about past and future?
->Well it seems that I belive the thoughts from the past more than the thoughts about the future. Because I have lived the past, and future is only coming... Even when the memory lies...

If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?
->Both of them are colored by thoughts. Thoughts from the past looks more familiar.

😅
Good night!

[Inkeri]

Hey Bambaji!

Oh gosh… Last night brought back some ugly memories… I didn't mention this earlier because I didn't think it was relevant. But here it comes… I was in this ”meditation school” for six years, which turned out to be a big time fake and a sekt. We got out from it last april, but the last two years were absolutely exhausting. The teachers used us in every possible levels with hypnosis and frightening teqnicues. We were living in constant fear and in a feeling that we never do enough… We had our daughter during that stress and have to say that her first year in life was the hardest for me ever. (btw my husband was in that ’school too*. I can’t remember much of it but last night brought back some ugly memories that seem to still be there and I believed them. This morning I was so angry!! And I rememberd that I felt this bad in so many levels for the past 1,5 years, almost every day! This last nights not sleeping- experience brought it all at the surface. I guess it was time for it to come out so it can be set free. I noticed a moment this morning that the true feeling I was feeling in that moment was just peaceful and good, but the mind was clinging on to the story and that’s why my feeling was so bad. I am ready to let this go! I’m so ready!

Sorry that I just puked this all out like this..

[Bambaji]

Good morning honey,

This work can shift some strong stuff, well done for seeing the story around this and for seeing the peaceful and good feeling at your core. I am sorry you went through such a shite experience, and I am even more grateful to you for putting your trust in this work, in yourself to do it and in me to take the journey with you. Thank you.

The thing with memory, which we will come back to, is that it is just another thought/story. It may have a recurring nature to it which gives it a sense of familiarity, but it is just a thought. It is not related to anything that is happening now, and that is where you are and the only place you can truly operate from and know anything.

A big hug to you, I will get back to you later

Love xx

[Bambaji]

Hi Inkeri

I am going to ask you to look at an exercise to do with time, we will come back to your previous answers on memory etc in another post.

There is a general assumption (usually unquestioned) that there is linear time that started (if started at all) somewhere very far in the past and advances to the distant future. The present moment (now) is considered to be a very small fragment of time or an event that is moving forward on this linear time, coming from the past and advancing to the future.

But.... is there an experience that the ’now’ is moving along the line of time?
Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?
Any actual experience of one event following another?
How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?
Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?
How long does the ‘now’ last?
Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?
When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?
So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or are there just thoughts about ‘time’?

Please look for the answers many-many times (haha) before replying.

Hugs

x

[Inkeri]

Hey!

I am so grateful for this journy with you so far! No words to describe <3

I looked these questons many times (lol), and they seem quite simple. Here is how I see it:

But.... is there an experience that the ’now’ is moving along the line of time?

Noup.. Now is only now, this moment. No movement.

Any experience of one ‘moment’ giving way to the next?

I'm not sure if I understand this question. But I see the one moments magic. It really is the only thing that is real, right now.

Any actual experience of one event following another?

This is a good one. I have one example coming to mind: when I put the potatos boiling, usually in 30 minutes they are ready 😅

How fast is the ‘present moment’ actually moving?

It's not moving at all.

Just look at 'this moment', can you find a point where it began?

No I can not. It has been here as long as I can remember!

How long does the ‘now’ last?

Forever.

Where does the ‘now’ start, and where does it end?

It does not start or end.

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past'?

Never. Now is always just now. The moments become memories?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or are there just thoughts about ‘time’?

This is a very tricky illusion. Because I really see this. But still have this 'potato- example' and other similar. Like, my daughter was born 18 months and 22 days ago... It's not happening now, but it has happend, she is real.

At some level I see this, but stil the linear time-illusion seems very real.

Have a good night!
A big hug

[Bambaji]

Hi

Any actual experience of one event following another?
I have one example coming to mind: when I put the potatos boiling, usually in 30 minutes they are ready

All things change, that's clear. So potatoes change from unboiled to boiled. But is there any moment in that changing which looked at is not NOW?

When does the ‘now’ exactly become the 'past''?
Never. Now is always just now. The moments become memories

A quick "memory" exercise: Right now, where is 'past'? What reality does 'past' have compared with eating a peach right now? Where does the remembered experience of eating a peach happen? Does it happen in a place called 'the past''? If so, where is that place when it isn't remembered? Or does it appear as a thought-memory?

So is there actual experience of ‘time’ or are there just thoughts about ‘time’?
This is a very tricky illusion. Because I really see this. But still have this 'potato- example' and other similar. Like, my daughter was born 18 months and 22 days ago... It's not happening now, but it has happend, she is real.

At some level I see this, but stil the linear time-illusion seems very real

Do you see that the birth and growing of your daughter does not happen 'in' or across time? More, it is an unfolding of every NOW moment, like a flower? We use the convention of time as an attempt to measure and calibrate, and then take the measuring system as the reality.

Sometimes, language and convention get in the way of what is real. In your looking, look past language, look past convention and assumption. Just report on exactly what is happening now.

Hugs x

[Inkeri]

Hey,

All things change, that's clear. So potatoes change from unboiled to boiled. But is there any moment in that changing which looked at is not NOW?

No.

A quick "memory" exercise: Right now, where is 'past'? What reality does 'past' have compared with eating a peach right now? Where does the remembered experience of eating a peach happen? Does it happen in a place called 'the past''? If so, where is that place when it isn't remembered? Or does it appear as a thought-memory?

Well... Right now the past does not exist. There is no reality in it. The rememberd experience happens in the mind, thoughts and stories. Hah, this was good! When I don't remember it purpously, it is not in my awareness, and does not exist. So it is not real! Wow...

Do you see that the birth and growing of your daughter does not happen 'in' or across time? More, it is an unfolding of every NOW moment, like a flower? We use the convention of time as an attempt to measure and calibrate, and then take the measuring system as the reality.

True.. The measuring system has absolutely been the reality! This is really interesting to look at it in a more open way. "It's unfolding of every now moment"... Yes. Now, now, now. That's all there is.

[Bambaji]

Good morning!

Well... Right now the past does not exist. There is no reality in it. The rememberd experience happens in the mind, thoughts and stories. Hah, this was good! When I don't remember it purpously, it is not in my awareness, and does not exist. So it is not real! Wow...

Exactly!!

True.. The measuring system has absolutely been the reality! This is really interesting to look at it in a more open way. "It's unfolding of every now moment"... Yes. Now, now, now. That's all there is.

And isn't it a lovely feeling when you realise that it's enough, what's right here and now is perfect!!

Another quick exercise on time, just to consolidate where you are:

Have a look at the second hand on a clock. It seems to be changing. But can you find 10 seconds ago in actual experience? 5 seconds? 1 second? Keep noticing that change is always only a story about some experience "prior to this". But only *this* can be found. How could there have been another experience at all? Where has it gone to?

Report back.

This may be enough for today, but if you are up for a bit more.....:

Your perspective may have shifted a little now, so I'd like you to look again at these questions please. Answer from where you are NOW, no looking back to how you answered before - or not until afterwards!! As always, no thinking or guessing, just what you actually experience:

Look at a thought about the past..
What is a memory ‘made of’?
WHEN does a memory appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘memory’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘memory’ thought refers to something that has happened?

Then, look at a thought about the future.
What is the future thought ‘made of’?
WHEN does the future thought appear?
What is the exact difference between a ‘general’ thought and a ‘future’ thought?
How is it known exactly that a ‘future’ thought refers to something that will happen?
Then let’s compare a thought about past and a thought about the future.
What is the exact difference between the thoughts about past and future?
If there is difference, how that difference is known exactly?

Thank you poppet. Have a great day :)

xx