Seeing What is True

[b0dhi]

That's wonderful Lynn :)

I'm going to ask you some questions below, please answer them fully, completely honestly and from your own experience.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

My warmest wishes

[Lightwins]

Hi Bodhi,
It will take me a while to contemplate these questions. I will send each one as I complete them.
In gratitude,
Lynn

[b0dhi]

That is absolutely fine Lynn

I look forward to hearing from you :)

Much love

[Lightwins]

Hi Bodhi, Here are responses to the first two questions.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

As I look in my own direct experience, I cannot find a separate entity that is a self. All I find is phenomena that is constantly changing such as thoughts, feelings, sensations, perception and the 5 senses. None of that phenomena can be a self, nor is all of it together a self. There is only one constant and that is a silent aware presence that is ever present before, during and after phenomena appear. It pervades all experience. That is what I essentially am, not the phenomena. An independent self that is an owner of experience does not exist and never did. There is only awareness and all experience appearing within it and as it. There is nothing separate from that.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of a separate self is created by thought constructing a concept of an "I" that is attached to and identified with all experience. "I think this, "I feel that." "I like this," "I don't like that," etc. A sense of separation is also created whenever any experience is resisted by either pushing it away or engaging with it. The resisting seems to come from thought and conditioning. When everything is allowed to be as it is in the space of awareness, which does not resist anything, then a sense of separate self dissolves.

More soon.
Thanks and Love,
Lynn

[Lightwins]

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

What I am noticing: Deeper relaxation, dramatic drop in motivation to make any effort spiritually, more letting go and letting be, still following thought a lot but more distance from it, believing it less, and letting go of it more quickly, using intuition to guide my life more, less reactivity and suffering, more peace, feel lighter, more spacious, more still, feeling some freedom from the tyranny of identification with thought.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

I have been looking and seeing for a long time. This inquiry helped me to take a stand and admit, finally, that there is in fact no separate self. I'm not sure what made that happen. There was an intense interest and curiosity. It was just time for that to happen.

Will send last question soon.
Love and thanks,
Lynn

[Lightwins]

Hi Bodhi,
I answered all the questions and have not heard from you all week. So I checked here to see if there was a response and I can't find my last post. It must not have gone through. So I will answer the last two questions again.

Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

Upon close examination, it is seen that choice, decision, intention just happens. Then the mind creates an "I" concept: "I did that," "I made that decision," "I chose to do this." The choices come out of thought based on conditioning then thought creates a concept of an I who is doing it. Therefore, there really isn't any free will or control. It requires a very deep seeing to get this. It really APPEARS as though there is free will. But upon close examination, there is no controller, chooser, decider. Even choosing to do the deep looking is just happening. It seems to be coming out of a lifetime of conditions that led to that. So, ultimately, there is no "I" who is responsible for anything, except the true "I" of Awareness or Being itself.

6) Anything to add?

I am left with greater peace and resting and also thoughts of "now what?" There is nothing to "do" but rest in Being and allow it to run this life as it always has. Yet, the mind keeps up the habit of following thought and buying into it. It gets noticed more quickly and let go of more quickly, but it still happens a lot. There is resistance to this. The problem is the resistance, but there is nothing I can do about it. There is nothing I can do about how much I get absorbed in thought. And I don't like that. Any help you can give me with this would be appreciated.

I hope this goes through.
Thanks and Love,
Lynn

[b0dhi]

Hi Lynn

Yup -sorry we are having these issues with some glitches - some disappearing posts. It's happened to me as well.

Thanks for your answers.

In regards to your question:

There is nothing I can do about how much I get absorbed in thought. And I don't like that. Any help you can give me with this would be appreciated.

The "not liking" is more thought happening. Like the chicken and egg question, how do you go about getting some space, some distance from the thoughts when really there is no "you" as such thinking them.

It's completely natural to get absorbed in thought even when you ave seen through the illusion of separate self. The thought circuitry of the organism is still going to keep firing. You will get absorbed, then you will see you are absorbed, then you will be free, then you will be trapped again. All along there is no "separate you" as such, just what is happening.

This is a habit, and it will take time to erode away. Years of conditioning are not gone in a second. Seeing through the illusion is just the beginning of a new exploration, which is lifelong :) As you well know the resistance is the issue - and resistance is just the opposite of acceptance. We often have this expectation that all will be peace and bliss once we have seen through the illusion.

Is it this expectation that is causing the resistance?

For now I'm going to have the other guides look at our conversation and seek their comments or further questions for you. This can take a little while. If there's anything further at this point while this process is happening, then please do post again and I will respond.

My love and regards

[Lightwins]

Hi Bodhi,
Thank you for your response. Yes I already know that seeing that there is no self will not stop "selfing" from continuing. That has quite an energetic momentum on it! I have been working with this for a long time. And the momentum has slowed down as a result of the resting and awareness practice over many years. I had an expectation that seeing through the separate self would relax it much more. It has some but the expectation was higher. Yet, I'm aware that there's nothing that "I" can do about that. I am grateful for the shift and it has caused. There is a difference. Selfing continues but I'm not buying it as much as before seeing no separate self.
I look forward to hearing from you again.
Love and gratitude,
Lynn

[b0dhi]

Hi Lynn

Sorry for my late response. I'm currently dealing with something that is demanding attention and I want to take some time with you. Therefore, if it's okay, I'll respond to you in detail tomorrow. Apologies for the delay.

[Lightwins]

Hi Bodhi,
No problem! Thanks for letting me know.

[b0dhi]

Hi Lynn

Thank you for your patience and understanding. I am back and you have my full attention :)

Well we are here at this place where you have seen through the fiction of an identity - that there is no solid self there to speak of. That it is an empty story, a mirage.

And to see further that this fiction has no agency, no control, no substance and no free will. In effect there is a 'choicelessness' to it all.

So where does this leave you - nothing to be and nowhere to go? It can be a dark, depressing and nihilistic state from this perspective.

However, let's wipe the slate completely clean so we can look with fresh eyes - completely anew at what is presenting itself here. Can we forget for the next part of this conversation all that we have taken on board as truth, all that we have imbibed from a third party and rely only on what we are able to bring to this conversation as the only source of knowledge and truth there is?

Can you do this with me? Are you prepared to be your own authority?

Sending love

[Lightwins]

HI Bodhi,
Thank you for your response. I do not know how prepared I am to be my own authority, but I am willing. And I am excited by that possibility. It is also a little scary in that there is an aloneness involved in that. When we "stand on our own two feet" so to speak, we stand alone. But yes, I am willing to "wipe the slate completely clean so we can look with fresh eyes - completely anew at what is presenting itself here." Let's do it!
With Love,
Lynn Marie

[b0dhi]

Hey Lynn

That's great, thanks for your response.

The fact of the matter is that in order to "See what is true", we need to drop everything that we have learned as a conditioned response. When what you are really after is the truth, the truth itself demands that you approach it without any of your own convictions.

So in wiping the slate clean, here stands before us Lynn Marie, having been through the process of seeing directly the fictional nature of her identity. Having discovered that who she may once have thought of as her"self" is nothing but a collection of stories and conditioning and thoughts and responses and habits. When examined for "truth", the identity itself has no substance. It only appears to have substance when it is not being looked at - just like a mirage.

Lynn looks to see if she has any control whatsoever and concludes that she does not, given that she cannot find a self that is in charge.

Before we go further are we on the same page so far Lynn? Please add to this what you see fit before we continue, and of course, it should be from your own direct observation.

Warmest regards and love :)

[Lightwins]

HI Bodhi,
First of all, I have never referred to myself as Lynn Marie in our communications, so I am wondering how you got that? Most people refer to me as Lynn Marie, but I was only using Lynn for these public communications in order to be more anonymous. I would like to know about this before I respond further.
Thank you,
Lynn

[b0dhi]

Hi Lynn

You referred to yourself as Lynn Marie in this communication on Tue Jul 04, 2017 6:56 pm

HI Bodhi,
Thank you for your response. I do not know how prepared I am to be my own authority, but I am willing. And I am excited by that possibility. It is also a little scary in that there is an aloneness involved in that. When we "stand on our own two feet" so to speak, we stand alone. But yes, I am willing to "wipe the slate completely clean so we can look with fresh eyes - completely anew at what is presenting itself here." Let's do it!
With Love,
Lynn Marie

Hope this helps :)