1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
I can't see anything separate.I have never seen it. There is none.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
Primarily for me it's been the delusion that I am this body. That "I" exist inside of this. Then there are things happening and as this body interacts, it is easy to believe that this is the "I" doing. The identification with the body started with my parents teaching me that "I", "Pål" is this and that and it was believed. This is how the illusion of the separate self starts.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It's not a big thing. Nothing really happened during the past few days. I did a through looking a little more than a month ago, when I clearly saw that there is nothing here. It is all just experienced.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
It was the question: "Is there a separate controller or manager?". I looked and I couldn't find any.
5) Can you talk about decision, intention, free will, choice and control? What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decision: there can be realization that a decision is needed. Then there is a lot of thoughts going on telling "deciding this, deciding that". Then something happens and it shows what the decision was. Until it happens there was no decision. Only thoughts.
Intention: recurring thoughts about how to shape the future. These thoughts are experienced as attractive. An opening towards a future path. For example: I have the intention to stay with my children, letting them live in my apartment. It doesn't mean that it will happen. It means that there is an opening towards that path.
Free will: there is no free will. It appears as the apparent self takes decisions, but things happen and then then I believe it was "I" that did it, that "I" take credit for it. It happens very quickly after things happen. This I can clearly see when doing simple exercises, such as raising my hand.
Choice: choice is no different from decision.
Control: "I" think "I want to do this" and things happening according to that: I experience control. If it doesn't happen accordingly: I experience no control. It's like free will, I think I can control, but really things happen and then there's the illusion that "I" controlled it happening.
There is nothing here that makes things happen. Things evolve. Reality unfolds. It just happens and there is just experience.
Regarding responsibility, Katie says "my business is to take care of my thoughts". That is true in one sense but ultimately event that is not controllable. It could happen that thoughts are being taken care of though i.e. using The Work. But what took that decision then. So there is no responsibility whatsoever. If I don't do anything and stay in bed all day the world/reality goes on. If I decide (it is decided) to do things, the world goes on anyhow. The story told could be different though.
6) Anything to add?
I think I can clearly see the absence of the self. There was no big shift, more like a confirmation/convincing of what I had already seen.
Pål
