In search of no thing

[Focus33]

Hi Gints

can you find a doer of all this
Stuff?

I can't find a doer! It feels as if things are happening
And mind machine is labeling them. Something happens and m
Mind machine labels it. Good or bad.
The same thing with emotions. Something happens
The mind machine labels it and it triggers the emotions.
If everything is a thought including the I therefore
Is it wrong to conclude that there is no doer.
I will write again tomorrow
Thanks

[Gints]

If everything is a thought including the I therefore
Is it wrong to conclude that there is no doer.

Obviously not. It's not wrong. The I and the doer is only two different labels for the same suposed entity. Obviously if you can't find none of it then there isn't. Thats it. It is very simple. You just need to look attentively.

Lets do labeling excercise.
There is no who.
There is nothing here in direct experience that is separate from experienced. Just this. Always now.

If you want to test this, simply do this little experiment that won't even take much of your time. All you need is 20 minutes, a pen & paper.

First write what you are experiencing right now using words I and me. Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just plain description of here now.

Like this-
I am laying in bed. I am hearing the rain, I am typing these words..

Do it for 10 minutes. Watch the body, are there any sensations of tightening or relaxing?

Then for next 10 minutes write without words I and me. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs:
Waiting for next thought, typing, breathing, blinking, hearing the rain.

Again watch what is happening in the body.

Now compare the two ways to label experience- is one truer than the other? If so, which one? I is a label, not experiencer. Not a thinker, not a doer, not a hearer of rain. I is not what makes eyes blink and it is not a breather, it's a word, that is used for convenience of communication. If it's believed to be an entity, the mind is confused, the body is tensed up. Unconfusing it is simple- bring attention back to now and look once again- is there a me behind the word 'me'? Life is happening. Looking is happening. Getting lost in the story is happening. With or without label I.

Please report back what have you noticed while doing exercise.

[Focus33]

Hi Gints,
Thank you for guiding me through this.
It was an awesome experience. Everything that I did in the first ten minutes was the same as the second 10 minutes. With just one difference.
The " I" was not involved in the second part of my experience.
Life was just happening.
My mind machine was labeling everything and making it
Mean that it was MY experience in the first 10 minutes.
but truly it was just an experience. Looking was happening. Living was happening
Observing was happening. So much expansion of awareness.
No more limitations, just flowing with life.
What an amazing experience.

[Gints]

Sepi,

Nice observation. I like it! You are doing good!

Now it is time to go outside and look around. Better into nature, but it can be a park or any other place in the city.

Watch people, trees, birds, houses. Notice how everything is flowing, moving, humans, trees, thoughts, feelings, clouds in the sky, body. Notice that thoughts are arising dependently of what is noticed, experienced. Notice how everything is happening effortlessly on its own.

Turn focus outside. Notice how everything simply is. Perceiving is happening no one is doing it. See how seeing just happens. No one behind the eyes, no watcher, no observer, only watching, observing, only happening in the present moment. Labelling is happening on its own effortlessly. No agent doing all this. Even thought "I am doing all this" is just a thought the same as "there are trees in the park". Life is unfolding, flowing, flowering on its own.

Take your time, be with it. After all, you are it and with it always.
Report back your observations.

[Focus33]

Gints,
Amazing! You are right. No effort whatsoever. Just being.
Life is flowing. Everything is life. Life is happening at this very moment. No labeling no judgement just being.
Sepi

[Gints]

Sepi,

Maybe tell me a bit more. What have you experienced? Do you experienced thoughts, feelings coming-going? Do you encounter "I" thought? How does it feel? Is it different from other thoughts or the same?
Tell me do you have a feeling you are doing observation? If yes, what did it mean to you? Do you really find yourself doing observation or this was another feeling the same as everything else?
Tell me what happened while observing so-called outside world? How does it feel? How was it different from other times you were in nature?

Ponder on and report to me.

[Focus33]

Hi Gints,
I went to the park and sat on a bench. I saw all these birds
Flying but there was just watching , my body was there yet
I was not in it. I heard the beautiful singing of the birds but it was not me hearing.
I looked at the blades of grass but there was no me there,
Looking was happening without me. There was no judgement
There was just life happening. I was there but I was not there.
Sepi's body was there but I was not my body.
No labeling no judgement just observing.
Children were playing people were walking past the bench
It felt as if I am part of the whole I have no individuality.
I don't know how else to describe it. There was a flow
And awareness was simply riding it. I just experienced life
Simply.
Sepi

[Gints]

Sepi,

Can you answer YES, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no separate I and never have been?
Are there anything else that you want to investigate or are you ready for final questions?
Look carefully and report back.

[Focus33]

Hi Gints,

Can you answer YES, without a shadow of a doubt

NO! My mind is playing havoc on me. There is so much resistance to answering your question.
I don't know what is happening.
couple of days ago I would have said YES! Today I don't know.
I don't know what to write. Is this normal?
please help!
sepi

[Gints]

Sepi,

If I can suggest you something. Consider everything that happens as part of the process. All is good, nothing to be anxious about.

There is so much resistance to answering your question.

Good, we can look into it. When are you observing this resistance what do you find there? Describe to me as fully as you can. Place yourself comfortably and start to observe, then write it down and report to me.

Today I don't know.

We can look into it also. So again place you comfortably somewhere and start to observe not knowing. Report to me what have you find?

Tell me only about experience. Thoughts, feeling, tensions. What thoughts, what feelings have you experienced? Where do you experience feelings? Pay attention to the body.

[Focus33]

Hi Gints

When are you observing this resistance what do you find there?

I feel a lot of energy in my mid torso. I used to call it anxiety but I can see it is just energy in motion.
However it is still bothering me. There is a lot of resistance to even sitting and looking. I just want to
keep my mind occupied by any trivia. watching tv or doing things that I don't want to just to stay occupied.
Maybe I am analyzing too much.
My mind machine has been going non stop. Is it possible that my identity is scared of not being anymore?
Nothing is happening but I feel a lot of apprehension . My heart is racing and I feel anxious.
What happened? nothing has changed. Why is there so much emotion in my body?
Who is scared? how come I relate to these emotions so much although I know they are not mine?
If I don't exist how come I believe these emotions are mine?
I think I m just rambling and talking nonsense.
Maybe tomorrow i will be more clear.
thanks for your patience.
Sepi

[Gints]

Sepi,

I feel a lot of energy in my mid torso.

Good. It is direct observation. I think you already noticed that there is no problem with energy, feeling in mid torso or anywhere else. Only when the explanatory process, creating meaning, kicks in the problem can arise. The fact is the meaning which is ascribed to events creates a story and of course, the main hero of this story is "I". To be true the story can exist only of "I" because all stories are about him, but you know you can't experience stories they are not real. It is as selling you thin air and you are buying it and the price is usually high!

However, it is still bothering me.

Look into it, don't think about. Don't get involved in storytelling, just look and you will see that "bothering" is simply another feeling somewhere in the body. Don't ascribe meaning to it and it will not bother you at all :)).

Who is scared? how come I relate to these emotions so much although I know they are not mine?
If I don't exist how come I believe these emotions are mine?

There are no if's in seeing. Knowing there is no I and seeing there is no I are two quite different things. Stop thinking about all this stuff, stop creating more and more stories and start looking. While looking directly have you found I? If not why do you suppose it is there? When you report me about what have you seen, not thought about, you have never told me about how you have seen I. Actually if it is there what does it looks like? You always tell me about emotions/feelings, sensations, thoughts coming/going, never about I. Only when you start to think the I arises as part of the story.
Do you think the thought of I is different than the thought of aliens on other planets? You haven't seen one and another. So why do you choose to believe one, but not another, although some do choose to believe both :)))).

Now, will do one thing. Place you comfortably and intend to find I. It is obviously that if there is such then it should be found. Start looking into your body. Scan body to find I. Maybe it is in the chest, maybe in the head? When I have been found look into it! What do you see? Don't think only watch. What do you see? Report to me what have you found? What does it look like?

[Focus33]

Hi Gints,

While looking directly have you found I?

Ok! I sat myself comfortably. I looked without thinking. There is no I. there are thoughts, emotions and a body but no I.
There are objects that the physical eye sees but nothing relating to I. I can not find the I. Just stories about the I.
nothing is real. the emotions are just energies that are flowing through me and my mind machine labels them as feelings of
good and bad but truly they are just energies in passing. I is not there.looking closer even the body is a story! What a grand
story.
The only things that are present are thoughts and energies. NO I.

What do you see? Report to me what have you found? What does it look like?

Gints! there is no I! I does not exist! I get it! Far out man. My experience at the park was a glimpse, this time it is different.

You always tell me about emotions/feelings, sensations, thoughts coming/going, never about I.

Every thing is a story. I does not exist. I only exist in my thoughts. outside of thoughts I does not exist. I is a story.
What a relief. I get it I get it.
Thank you for your guidance
sepi

[Gints]

Sepi,

Now, can you answer YES, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no separate I and never have been?
Are there anything else that you want to investigate or are you ready for final questions?
Look carefully and report back.

[Focus33]

Hi Gints,
I am so ready for the final investigation! Let's do this.