Hello. Glad to hear you are feeling better.
Yes, I really like how you are looking Pauline... I feel you are seeing things more clearly.
As you can see this is not magical or mystical...or anything like that.. its simply noticing and seeing what is here.
And what's startling is that things have always been like this..... we just have not noticed. Its always been right under our nose but not noticed as we've been hypnotized in a sense by the mind.
When all of this starts to seem very simple.. that's a good sign.
You can see this is not about changing, fixing, becoming anything different or better.... but again... just seeing things as they are now. Its certainly not about trying to be enlightened or anything on that order. All we can be ever is what we are, whatever that is, nothing needs to change to be ok.
Oh, dont worry about that last question on the previous post.. something got mixed up in the last part of it as it doesn't read correctly.
The wish for a final “done” is — surprise, surprise — a story of the final carrot to be reached, a reason for the fictional “I” to try to get “somewhere.” Everything is constantly changing, moving, and interacting. There is no “done” in the real world. If you want to be at home, be at home in the flow.
I think about this … I realise there is this ‘I’m nearly there!’ type thing going on … I see a line of time before me and think ‘soon’, in the future this will happen. Of course - I look closer and see there’s no line of time, no future, no soon. Frustration arising. Back to looking again.
Yes, this epitomizes our dilemma, and shows our normal response to it. This 'thing' is going to happen... out in the future.... with the next post, the next page in the book, the next 'tip', tomorrow, when this or that happens..... on and on.
This is the power of the mind keeping us stuck in 'hope' and missing what is actually happening in front of us.
When does life happen? When can anything ever happen? When has anything ever happened?? Its clear if this is truly seen. LOOK.
All of these pointers are meant to induce you to look. Look.. don't think.
I've bolded the ones I'd like an answer/response on.... feel free to do so with any of the other ones if your attention is piqued.
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If you just look at the bad feelings that arise without the story — the “I” story — then they dissolve. If the story is believed, the feelings go on for hours or days. But without the story — that is, seeing the story as a story — the feelings and sensations in the body hang around for a much shorter time. There is more freedom in that — more ease, more space, more peace.
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The answer to the great yearning of life for fulfillment and satisfaction is not in the mind. It is right here and now, in seeing through the false, apparent reality of the controller “me.” Without that story, life flows more easily, more freely, and it is free of psychological suffering through apparent good times or bad.
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Imagine a child totally immersed in the belief of a tooth fairy. Everybody around her thinks tooth fairies are real. She doesn’t have a chance to discover the truth. Every “sane” child believes there is a real tooth fairy. As soon as she catches the tooth fairy — her mother — in action, the belief disappears. The story is revealed to be a story. The child can’t believe in it anymore, even if she wanted to. Now let’s investigate how much substance is there to self. You just have to catch the “self” in action, that is, observe the processes as they concoct the illusion of self in real time. Then you’ll know the truth.
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THERE IS SOMETHING HAPPENING. Please re-read this a hundred thousand times. This is it. There is something happening. All the rest is story.
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Look at a university. All it is, is a bunch of buildings, with certain types of people, with certain things being thought there. The label “university” is put on this area, and the feel of it being a university becomes very real, almost like an entity in itself. But there is only a bunch of buildings there. Now take your life, your limbs, head, brain, blood, guts, memories, thoughts, and feelings. All this stuff very much exists and is very real to us, but when all this stuff references itself and uses language like “me,” “myself,” and “I,” over time something that seems real appears, a feeling of ownership over all that — a feeling of control, a feeling of “I am my name,” “This is me.” But truthfully, there’s nothing more there than the brain, the blood, the guts, the thoughts, the memories, and so on.
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It is not the “I” that is looking. Thinking that there is “I” that is looking is an illusion — just an assumption that you must question.
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Notice the sounds you’re hearing, like the chirping of the birds. Notice the habitual thought “I hear that.” Now just pay attention to how sound happens. Take your time with it. Are you doing the hearing, or is it just happening?
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For the time being, just look at how feelings, thoughts and labels show up. Don’t try to change what is. Don’t try to be “not me.” The “me” you are talking about doesn’t exist anyway.
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Can you see an absence of something? Let’s say there is a pen on your table. Look at it. Now take it and hide it behind your back. Look at the table again. Can you see an absence of pen?
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Keep looking at your daily experiences. Look for the moment the “I” label gets attached to a movement, to “doing-ness.” There is an experience, and the thought comes up, “I” did it. Watch out for this. Be like a detective, ready to spot it! Experience happens, and a thought labels it.
