Gratitude

[JonathanR]

Ok Siobhan,

Let me know how it goes,

Jon

[Maluhia]

This may take a while Jon. I didn't get anywhere today at all.

I will continue to look.

Love,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hello Siobhán,

Don't worry. Take your time. As a matter of fact I am attending a kind of retreat this weekend with one of the founders of LU, Ilona. I was going to say that I may not easily be able to post until Monday in any case.

Let's resume on Monday but if, in the meantime, you want to want to post, please feel free to do so,


Best wishes,

Jon

[Maluhia]

Hello again Jon,

I hope you enjoyed an amazing retreat!

As for me, there has been seemingly no change.
Even though I have had the experience that there is no one inside this body and that what I had identified with as a 'me' was simply a grouped together bundle of thoughts that had created the personality 'Siobhán ',
but there is not an entity names Siobhán living inside this body, I still feel identified with this personality and body.
I don't know how this is possible, but there it is.

Love and Blessings,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hello Siobhán

I hope you enjoyed an amazing retreat!

It was very beautiful, thank you.

As for me, there has been seemingly no change.

That may be because you are looking for one? Often, when there is a looking FOR a change or shift, there is an expectation that an experience should happen. That it should look like something, be like something? When nothing tangible does happen there can be disappointment.

Fortunately the reality is deeper than this

Perhaps there has been no change becaue there has never been a self? Not last year, not yesterday, not today and not tomorrow.

Instead of looking FOR something look AT no self. You don't have to look for it. It isn't outside or beyond or other than what has always been. See that.


love

Jon

[Maluhia]

Hello Jon,

You're right. I do expect that I will notice a shift as I begin to feel much less identified with the body. I mean, if my experience has changed, I would have to feel different because my experience of everything would be different.

I can see that there has never been a self yet this realization is new for me.

You are a very patient guide : ), thank you.
I will look at 'no self.'

Love and Blessings,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hi Siobhan,

You're right. I do expect that I will notice a shift as I begin to feel much less identified with the body. I mean, if my experience has changed, I would have to feel different because my experience of everything would be different.

Is there a 'you' that can feel less identified with a body.... or is it more that on looking for one, no 'self' can be found to be anywhere 'inside a body'? Take a look.

Will it be 'your experience' that changes?

Who or what would have to feel different?

What you say is only logical if you believe that a self must undergo these experiences. But how could that be?


love

Jon

[Maluhia]

Good evening Jon,

If there is no one to feel identified with the body, then why do I still feel that identification?

Love and Blessings,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hello Siobhan,

Could you have a go at answering my last few questions, please? They are very relevant. Look into them. Look into your experience.

Your question will be answered but (without being glib and in absolute honesty) it will you that discovers the answer.


love

Jon

[Maluhia]

Good morning Jon,

It is astonishing how strong the mind is! I have been perplexed at what the direction to turn back and look at 'myself.' For weeks I have been unable to see anything, but, this morning I was again looking back at 'myself ' and
realized that if I am out of my body looking back at it, then clearly 'I' am not a separate entity located inside a body. This is a deeper realization of the earlier one where I couldn't find a 'me' inside this body. This feels so expansive!

Love,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hi Siobhan,

if I am out of my body looking back at it, then clearly 'I' am not a separate entity located inside a body.

What is seen here is good. 'You' are not a separate entity located inside a body.

But there is a chance that the one that is 'out of my body', doing the looking back, whilst no longer 'inside a body' can be still identified as some kind of spirit entity of some sort, a subtle self.

You are doing really well but to go the step further, when you say:

For weeks I have been unable to see anything, but, this morning I was again looking back at 'myself '

Was there a one, looking back, or was it more like, just 'seeing'?

love

Jon

[Maluhia]

Hello Jon,

Well, at first my experience was that the 'me,' The personality, was turning and looking back at my body. This then changed to 'seeing' as I had the realization that I was not a separate entity that lived in this body. At that moment I had the feeling of expanding.

I also understand what you mean about identifying with a bit of a self after seeing that I am not actually contained inside the body. Even though I feel expansive and that my center isn't fixed, but is wherever my attention is at any given moment, I do feel like I haven't quite gone all the way with this yet.

Love,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hello Siobhan,

Thanks for your reply,

This then changed to 'seeing' as I had the realization that I was not a separate entity that lived in this body. At that moment I had the feeling of expanding.

Excellent.

I also understand what you mean about identifying with a bit of a self after seeing that I am not actually contained inside the body. Even though I feel expansive and that my center isn't fixed, but is wherever my attention is at any given moment, I do feel like I haven't quite gone all the way with this yet

Maybe 'you' can't?

It is good to notice that there is no fixed center, either 'inside' or 'outside' the body.

There is attention but what about an entity?

If you look, Is there something that 'owns' attention?

love

Jon

[Maluhia]

Good morning Jon,

Let me clarify by saying that though it has been experienced that there is no 'me' , there seems to still be somewhat of an attachment to an entity/personality.
The attachment is lessening a bit but is still there.
The past couple of weeks there has been a very noticeable difference of ease and spontaneity which has me feeling a sense of wonder and delight. What is interesting about this is that before you and I began working together my life experience has mostly been one of contentment, gratitude and delight.

Seeing, hearing, feeling, sensing all just happens spontaneously. There is no 'owner' of it, no planning,
all simply arises.

Love,

Siobhán

[JonathanR]

Hello Siobhan,

Let me clarify by saying that though it has been experienced that there is no 'me' , there seems to still be somewhat of an attachment to an entity/personality.
The attachment is lessening a bit but is still there.
The past couple of weeks there has been a very noticeable difference of ease and spontaneity which has me feeling a sense of wonder and delight. What is interesting about this is that before you and I began working together my life experience has mostly been one of contentment, gratitude and delight.

Seeing, hearing, feeling, sensing all just happens spontaneously. There is no 'owner' of it, no planning,
all simply arises.

I just want to say that you are so much on the right track. Rather than me throwing more questions at you I'd like you to simply relax into this ease and spontaneity over the next day or two. And without any pressure at all just take a little look every so often to see if an entity is found anywhere.

best wishes,

Jon