Nothingness memory thought projection

[Blackjack13]

Hi Daniel,

Thanx for keeping the fire be burned.
In these christmas days i may not will be able to get internet access and your questions is just too much to try or observe them in a direct experience. I may need more time.

Peter

[arunachala]

Hi Daniel,

Thanx for keeping the fire be burned.
In these christmas days i may not will be able to get internet access and your questions is just too much to try or observe them in a direct experience. I may need more time.

Peter

Ok, take your time Peter, and when you.re ready we can continue.

Happy holidays :)
Daniel

[Blackjack13]

Hi Daniel
sorry but can we continue a bit slowlier?
Your questions just blowed my mind and i became so confused. Now i feel so unstable. I am not sure in anything at all. I dont even feel fear in these days. I rather feel HUGE HATRED toward my brother for a long time and it makes me very toxic and angry and very helpless about the situation i know i focus on it too much and i resist it but i cant help. This hatred is so big that it takes a lot of energy from me and i become tired. Whenever i see him i feel bad i dont know why. He irritates me. And i ve got a very big physical pain in me stomach that also makes me very toxic and frustrated. And now i cant believe that pain and anger is onlyreal because i focus on it. I also feel that i dont want to continue the "waking up process" its just frustrates me very much. The identification is so strong i rather would die than let it go. I resist to let the illusory seperateself go, i am attached to my shit life. I feel so down today, i cant believe that anything is ever gonna change.
Sorry but right now thatshow i feel.

Peter

[arunachala]

Hi Peter,

Good to have you back :)

Hi Daniel
sorry but can we continue a bit slowlier?
Your questions just blowed my mind and i became so confused. Now i feel so unstable. I am not sure in anything at all. I dont even feel fear in these days. I rather feel HUGE HATRED toward my brother for a long time and it makes me very toxic and angry and very helpless about the situation i know i focus on it too much and i resist it but i cant help. This hatred is so big that it takes a lot of energy from me and i become tired. Whenever i see him i feel bad i dont know why. He irritates me. And i ve got a very big physical pain in me stomach that also makes me very toxic and frustrated. And now i cant believe that pain and anger is onlyreal because i focus on it. I also feel that i dont want to continue the "waking up process" its just frustrates me very much. The identification is so strong i rather would die than let it go. I resist to let the illusory seperateself go, i am attached to my shit life. I feel so down today, i cant believe that anything is ever gonna change.
Sorry but right now thatshow i feel.

Peter

I know this can get very tough sometimes, but the confusion place you.re in is great, because in confusion, anything is possible; here even the deepest and strongest beliefs are questioned, doubted. Also pain and hatred might be tightly connected to confusion.

Now, at the beginning you say you want to take it a bit slower. Fair enough. But then you say you feel like not continuing this.

Please let me know if you want to continue or not.

Cheers,
Daniel