Thread for Fariba

[Dava]

My gut and throat are the place where a lot of my questions arise but ultimately the sensations are translated into thoughts which requires the use of language...that's where my mind comes into play.

Are your thoughts actually translating a question that is being asked by the gut or throat?

Try again with the statement; "there is no you, never has been, never will be"

When you experience a sensation, followed by a question in thought ("how is this possible?" etc),
where does the interpretation "my gut/throat is asking the question" arise?

What makes the link between the initial sensation and the question which arises?

Is it anything other than another thought?

[Dava]

Hi Fariba,

I'll be away from home for about 48 hours, with a possible wifi connection.

Fire away when you're connected and I'll reply to you as soon as I am.

Best wishes,

Dave

[faribaf]

Dava - it has been a year and I have come full circle.

Are you still able to be my guide?

[Dava]

Hi Fariba,

Welcome back, sure, happy to pick things up again.

How are you doing?

[faribaf]

Hi Fariba,

Welcome back, sure, happy to pick things up again.

How are you doing?

Thank you so much - I am ready.

I have been observing all the sensations in my body as I go through the day. Right now, my work environment is particularly triggering so there is a rich source of material for practice and learning.

How are you?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Dava]

I have been observing all the sensations in my body as I go through the day. Right now, my work environment is particularly triggering so there is a rich source of material for practice and learning.

How are you?

Great thanks Fariba, a nice surprise to see you pop up again too.

So tell me about your observations of sensations, what is it that is catching your attention?

[faribaf]

Well - they tend to be work related.

As I drive to work a knot starts to form in my stomach and my throat tightens. Sometimes tears come. Pretty much stays that way until I start to drive home...things unwind. My thoughts also cause these sensations.

When at home, I tend to be in neutral - through practice there is less attachment to and response from this thing I think is me or self...still have a very long way to go.

What is it about work that creates such a response - part of it is ego for sure. There is a lot of back biting and indirect stuff. Makes me paranoid. It is not a great environment and if I can let go of it all in this environment it will be a true miracle...and miracles can happen.

[Dava]

When at home, I tend to be in neutral - through practice there is less attachment to and response from this thing I think is me or self...still have a very long way to go.

What is it about work that creates such a response - part of it is ego for sure. There is a lot of back biting and indirect stuff. Makes me paranoid. It is not a great environment and if I can let go of it all in this environment it will be a true miracle...and miracles can happen

What you seem to be evoking here is something of a pushing and pulling experience that you feel affected by, particularly in the pressure cooker of the work situation (understandable). I suggest we take a look at any sense of an assumed subject (a self) that is or isn't affected by such situations.

So, getting back down to the nitty gritty.

Can you describe your experience as you directly find it now, wherever you are sitting (or standing), just take a good look and report back from direct experience, without recourse to stories or interpretations.
When you look for a central agent or mediator of this experience, what do you find?

[faribaf]

There is tiredness both the sense of wanting sleep and a deep weariness that wants to be done already...what is wanting this? Something and nothing at the same time - it is confusing sensation. At the same time there is grasping to what 'should' be and a sense of not knowing what needs to be.

Today as strong emotions arose, I kept asking "what if your were not needing to have these emotions right now?" Things shifted - sometimes right away and at other times over a few hours. I am curious about what needs to be.

[Dava]

There is tiredness both the sense of wanting sleep and a deep weariness that wants to be done already...what is wanting this?

What does this tiredness actually look like?

Can you describe the bare physical sensations of tiredness?

How does it manifest?

While you're at it, look in amongst your physical experience for "the one" to whom this might be happening.

Try and locate the "feeler" of physical sensations.

What do you find?

[Dava]

(if you're no longer tired, no matter, just examine your physical experience, whatever might be going on)

[Dava]

Hi Fariba,

Are you still with me?

[faribaf]

What does this tiredness actually look like?
It looks like a shriveled up old man that is hiding under a rock in order to avoid any more beatings.

Can you describe the bare physical sensations of tiredness?
My eyes are heavy, my mind is fuzzy and I have a tightness in the throat and an ache in my chest.

How does it manifest?
Dependent arising's - I think that I am trapped and then I begin to fell fear and anxiety and then hopelessness.

While you're at it, look in amongst your physical experience for "the one" to whom this might be happening.
I think it is happening to me - the one that has structure and constructs and lots of opinions...and nerve endings and skin and blood and organs

What do you find?
I wish the feeler (she) would go away so that a more natural state can be reached.

[Dava]

Okay, thanks Fariba.

An essential factor that makes this an effective investigation is that you report from your direct experience.

You can take this as the bare components of what is happening:
Sensations (via the 5 senses) and thoughts (lets call these "mind sensations")

Any interpretations, imaginings or stories about the content of direct experience is surplus to requirements (there is nothing essentially wrong with these things, but they are just not needed and will muddy the waters)

We're not performing any mystery or magic with this investigation, we're just taking a good honest, bare bones look at what is actually there, at what can and can't be found.

So, please come back to your physical experience as you find it right now.
Take a moment to tune in with what is happening.

With your eyes closed, look for something called a "body" in direct experience.
Don't refer to thoughts, interpretations or imaginings, just your direct, raw experience of sensations.

Where is "the body"?
Does it have a size?
Does it have a weight?
Does it have a border?
Can you find the point where the experience of a "body" ends and the rest of the world begins?

What is your direct experience of that which we call "body"?

[Dava]

Hi Fariba,

Would you still like to continue our dialogue?

You really need to be posting at least once a day in order to build effective momentum.