Hello!
I am back from my trip and had an interesting experience. To pick up where we left off....
Now you say " I feel as I am back behind when I look".
If you really go into that sensation, and look at that. Experience it. Can there be something that is in the back? Or is this just another sensation interpreted by thought?
And does such a thing as the superego exist?
It made sense that the superego was one more thing that doesn't exist....every time there is just another layer that can be seen through. However, I was on the airplane traveling to my destination and there was some turbulence on Friday. The sensation of being frightened came up. I felt it deep...I always do. So, I sat back and welcomed it in. I welcomed it in and let it be experienced. And yet, I was once again using the "back behind" technique and being the observer. I have often gone to this to allow the experience to have its journey and while it works quite well...I remembered this looking for a superego or something behind what was happening. And I saw it...or saw the lack of it..or really saw nothing at all. I saw through it. I remember the thoughts of even the one who is choosing to welcome this in doesn't exist. A thought welcoming a thought. And a big shift was felt. The feeling of the fear lessened dramatically but I will say it was still there...along with the thoughts behind it....thoughts around dying and what that meant and so much more. I kept looking at them...I stayed there...with it. Urges of a need for a distraction came and those were allowed as well. And yet, I stayed. It all blended together. I was seeing the fear as it came up and moved around but it also wasn't really a seeing...it was just there. Hard to find words for this...but I wanted to share.
