Hey there
Thanks a bunch for the work we have done together and for the work you do overall helping others.
It was a pleasure doing the work...well, not all the time, but those times it was very much important in looking and seeing :)
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
No, there is no separate Self, that could be found anywhere I looked. It does not exist and has never existed in reality.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of separate self is belief or thoughts about the person living a life. The person starts from early age, when the knowledge is acquired. With knowledge comes understanding, that there is a body, that belongs to me and there are other bodies in the world. They are people. Then there is my family and there are families of others. There are my things and there are things, that belong to others. Everything around us in our society leads to this kind of knowledge. The mind does its work very well and it doesn’t take very long for us to base our all “belief structure” on these thoughts.
The illusion is created, that there is me, who loves something and hates something. Who decides to do something and then he fails or succeeds. The feeling of control becomes obvious with all of these belief. We control our lives and everything depends on our decisions. This is really seen as a big joke now. The humor of the universe is very “deep”, I guess :) Not so easy to see it there! :)
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
It feels...liberating. But there isn’t too much difference in everyday life, that has happened. There wasn’t a big shift of perception of the world. The ability to LOOK was” acquired”. Reality has been seen, Illusion has been seen through. The same thoughts still come and go. Seeing the story in all of this is what makes the difference.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I would say, that the picture of the rose, then Einstein and then the looking at the hand was a chain of something, that made the push. One exercise wasn’t enough, but three of them together spaced in time did the very important part in all of this.
But overall of course, it’s the whole work we did from the very beginning to the very end.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
What are you responsible for?
Give examples from experience.
These are all thoughts we have a belief so much in. In the Direct Experience, that happens this moment they can be seen for what they are. Another label coming and going. In reality there is no decision, but the illusion of it created by thought. The same goes with free will, choice and control. If everything is happening in the now and everything there is - Direct Experience, then there is no one to make decisions, intend to do something, make a choice or control something. There is only a thought about it.
Nothing makes things happen or something makes them happen, but the reality what we can experience is that it is just happening. Everything else would be just a story. It’s not an end of purposeful life to answer “I don’t know” to this question either :) I have no idea how it all works.
There is nothing I am responsible for since everything happens by itself. Responsibility is nothing else, than another story appearing.
There are constant thoughts appearing for me, that I am supposed to do something. Especially fix the problems of people, that are close to me. The idea comes up very often, that I am the one, who should be fixing the suffering of others. There are thoughts, sensations, images, that come and make me feel very uncomfortable, when someone else suffers and they are perceived beyond compassion.
These are all very intense stories with intense as another story of it’s own. I can see through the illusion of these stories.
Our work did not make me in any way invulnerable to emotions or programming, that comes and goes. But the looking made me see, that there isn’t much to do in this life, but live it. Enjoy the living happening in the moment. Have whatever comes up in life. By the way it has always worked wonders for me, when I just let things happen even without all of this work. I’ve always thought, that everything somehow will be alright. Now it is more like seeing, that there is no way it can be otherwise. The thought about control and the thought about resistance, that comes with it has always made a lot of negative Impact for me. That was my thinking. Now in the direct experience everything is happening on it’s own. Even though there are moments, when story is all, that is perceived as reality. It’s stupid to deny that :)
Now the concepts of good and bad, alright and not so much are seeing through for what they are.
It is not the beginning of something, that is going to be and it’s not the end of something, that is ending. There no new life. It’s like finding something, that has always been there without the thought of “How stupid was I not to see it before” :)
Well, I think it is enough words and enough thinking.
I’ve tried to explain something in words. I hope, that is what you wanted. Some detail.
Most of the time instead of talking it is better just to LOOK :)
