No actual experience of confusion…thought + sensation.What is the AE of confusion?
Nothing, in actual experience.What exactly is it that can be confused?
No.Can the label "confusion" become confused or know anything about confusion?
No.Can the sensation labelled "confusion" become confused or know anything about confusion?
No.Can the image labelled "Zarina/body" become confused or know anything about confusion?
No, there is not a separate entity – no, I, me, mine. There isn’t now – there never was. What appears to be a separate entity is just experience (thought, sensation, image etc), there isn’t an actual “separate self”.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
What is it: It's a belief, for lack of a better word, that there is a separate entity controlling something, feeling something, doing something, thinking something, seeing something. Something separate - a me, an I. Something is happening, and thought says “I, me, mine”. When it starts – I don’t know. Seems like it was just there. How it works: There are thoughts overlaying experience, thoughts that say “I”, “me”, "mine". Sensation arises – thought says “I am happy, I am anxious, this sensation means this emotion”. Seeing: thought may say “I see this.” What is it in reality? Sensation, image, color. It's constant "I" thought, and there is some belief that it is real - until it is seen that it isn't.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.
It feels good. It feels normal, it feels like a shrug or a fact, it’s just here, something that can be seen or looked for at any moment - no searching. Difference: there’s no real difference in the way "I" am - no I started the dialogue. But the difference from the last few days is that there isn’t any searching for whether the self exists. It is just known, it doesn't. I could also say that yesterday and today there is more "seeing" things just happening, just arising, just looking.3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.
I can’t be sure. This is what I think: on Friday while in the bathroom, thought arose: who is going to the bathroom? And looked: there was image, there was sensation, there was thought…and then, it was seen that there was no one going to the bathroom. It felt like a “click” – although that might be too strong a word – more like an “oh, ok”. Thought described it right afterwards as a “coming together of understanding” or something like that. However – I wouldn’t say the illusion of the separate self was seen then, I would say that happened on Wednesday morning reading your last post. There was no “ah-ha”, no “click” – just seeing the truth, that there wasn’t a separate self. Conceptually, it feels like it was right there, and it was known, but there was just this recognition of it being known, if that makes sense, when reading the post, and that was the only difference.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I don’t know what makes things happen, I don’t know how it works. There are thoughts and sensations and thoughts about a self doing this, me choosing this, I will do that. There is experience and the thoughts about experience say that something, a self, me, is choosing to do this or controlling that. But actually, things are just happening. No "I" to be responsible for something.5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
What are you responsible for?
Give examples from experience.
Not right now.6) Anything to add?
Thank you Kay!
Love,
Zarina
